No sex tonight?
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that
every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that
nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.