I have put breaks when stepping through the code - the app crashes on the exit sub line at the Form_Unload event, I realized that I should have included some other information with my original post. I was very tired and frustrated when I made it and sorry it was so difficult to read.
Now
1) I do have the latest service pack (6) installed, and the latest builds of the components
2) doing a debug in my VS2010 ide (which is on the same server) I got a very long stack dump beginning with OLEAUT32.dll, I updated that DLL but found no change
3) I am actually running (and working on) the program through a remote desktop connection. The program crashes on my desktop as well as on the users terminal server connections.
4) The OS I am running under is Windows Server 2003
5) the code I am running is
Code:
Private Sub Form_Unload(Cancel As Integer)
    Set rsChild = Nothing
    Set rsCaseFile = Nothing
    ' many similar record sets closing
    ys.CloseConnection
    Set ys = Nothing
    UnloadAllForms (Me.Name)
    ' closeing bound collections 
    Set bndChild = Nothing
     Set bndAuth = Nothing
     ' more bound collections closed
     ' i had added the next two lines but it made no difference
     frmmain.close
     Set frmMain = nothing     
end sub
Public Sub UnloadAllForms(Optional FormToIgnore As String = "")
    Dim f As Form
    For Each f In Forms
        If Not f Is Nothing Then
            If f.Name <> FormToIgnore Then
                Unload f
                Set f = Nothing
            End If
        End If
    Next f   
End Sub
6) I have added a "getout" routine in the start up module on the hope that will allow the form object to close cleanly, the dba has the test server down at the moment and I have not been able to test it yet
Thank you all so much for your help