Ok. So I looked it up on Wikipedia. Lets see.

"The Genesis creation narrative opens with God creating the first human, whom he places in the divine garden "in Eden in the east". God tasks the man to tend the garden..."

Hmm. Looks like he just wanted a gardner. Couldn't he just have gotten some Mexicans to do that? One would expect an omnipotent being of being able to do that. And why does the "garden of eden" need gardening anyway?

", but forbids him to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. God then forms a woman from a rib of the man to be a companion to the man."

I guess Adam was touching himself too much. But lets proceed.

"The first man and woman break God's command and eat the fruit of the forbidden tree..."

Isn't that a bit rude? He doesn't want them to get the 'knowledge of good and evil'. And if they ate from it, didn't they get that knowledge? You'd think with the ultimate knowledge they could have made an iPhone back then. That way Icyculyr could be looking forward to buying the iPhone 6012.

", and God expels them from the garden to prevent them from eating of a second tree, the Tree of Life, which would give them god-like immortality as well as god-like wisdom;"

Looks like Adam and Eve weren't that smart to begin with. I'd have eaten from that tree first, then use the god-like immortality and wisdom to stay in the garden of eden.

"... a cherub and a flaming sword at the gate bars their return."

Well, he could've moved the tree somewhere else.