here is an idea

ricmitch_uk · May 29th, 2001, 03:48 PM

"Call the medics! We've got an injured man in here!" shouted SD.

"Make it one ghost and a woman" he said after Katie, which had her face completely black, started to get her teeth into SD.

"JOTAF! I told you to be careful with that flamethrower." said Parksie

"Oh ok sorry, I wanted to toast the small beast but Katie put herself in front of it right before I fired... then SD though that she was a man and that really pissed her off, not my fault "

The battle was getting bad, with more casualties (ok injured people) in both sides, specially in the bus. But suddenly, something changed the course of the battle: The bush clan was getting overly excited by the weapons fire and seeing Katie with her face blackened made them anxious for a good old electric chair execution. They began to advance on the gang. Then Katie thought of something else. She continued where she left off nibbling on SD. The sight of Katie having fun with the demon sent the ultra-religous Bushes into a whirl. Jethro catching on to Katie's plan continued taking liberties with Daisy. While they were distracted by these sights, Jotaf and the others finished the bushes off once and for all....just as Jethro was done finishing off Daisy. :-) Everyone was left with big smiles on their faces and they once again boarded the bus to head off to the concert.

Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long....

**Ianpbaker** · May 29th, 2001, 04:01 PM

Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long Dildo that was supplied curtesy of Ian's fettish emporium. He goes charging towards the evil Ked and pushes the on button but nothing happens. Meanwhile Ian, back at the emporium(didn't like the swedish massage parlour that much) get's a blip on his world map that one of his products is malfuctioning, so he gets into his bing pink VW van and comes rushing over at light spead. he runs out of his van towards ric and .........

**SurfDemon** · May 29th, 2001, 04:16 PM

Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long Dildo that was supplied curtesy of Ian's fettish emporium. He goes charging towards the evil Ked and pushes the on button but nothing happens. Meanwhile Ian, back at the emporium(didn't like the swedish massage parlour that much) get's a blip on his world map that one of his products is malfuctioning, so he gets into his bing pink VW van and comes rushing over at light spead. he runs out of his van towards ric and the vibrator (that ric has nicknamed 'Big Frank').

"Here's a replacement", shouted Ian throwing an identical model to ric. Changing course Ian leaps into the bus and grabs a handfull of pop-corn from SD's big bucket (of popcorn). He setlles down with the rest of them to see how ric is going to get out of this predicament.

**barrk** · May 29th, 2001, 04:19 PM

Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long Dildo that was supplied curtesy of Ian's fettish emporium. He goes charging towards the evil Ked and pushes the on button but nothing happens. Meanwhile Ian, back at the emporium(didn't like the swedish massage parlour that much) get's a blip on his world map that one of his products is malfuctioning, so he gets into his bing pink VW van and comes rushing over at light spead. he runs out of his van towards ric and the vibrator (that ric has nicknamed 'Big Frank').

"Here's a replacement", shouted Ian throwing an identical model to ric. Changing course Ian leaps into the bus and grabs a handfull of pop-corn from SD's big bucket (of popcorn). He setlles down with the rest of them to see how ric is going to get out of this predicament.

Ric is very well versed in the use of dildos for some reason and manages to stop the evil Ked by inserting it into Ked's orifice. Ked rather enjoyed this and grabbed ric and they both went smiling off into the sunset.

Looking at Ian and his pink van Katie notices that it looks an awful lot like a giant version of Big Arnie. Katie decides she'd rather go to the concert in a giant vibrator than in a Texan-mobile, she climbs aboard and asks the others...........

ricmitch_uk · May 29th, 2001, 04:26 PM

Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long Dildo that was supplied curtesy of Ian's fettish emporium. He goes charging towards the evil Ked and pushes the on button but nothing happens. Meanwhile Ian, back at the emporium(didn't like the swedish massage parlour that much) get's a blip on his world map that one of his products is malfuctioning, so he gets into his bing pink VW van and comes rushing over at light spead. he runs out of his van towards ric and the vibrator (that ric has nicknamed 'Big Frank').

"Here's a replacement", shouted Ian throwing an identical model to ric. Changing course Ian leaps into the bus and grabs a handfull of pop-corn from SD's big bucket (of popcorn). He setlles down with the rest of them to see how ric is going to get out of this predicament.

Ric is very well versed in the use of dildos for some reason and manages to stop the evil Ked by inserting it into Ked's orifice. Ked rather enjoyed this and grabbed ric and they both went smiling off into the sunset.

Looking at Ian and his pink van Katie notices that it looks an awful lot like a giant version of Big Arnie. Katie decides she'd rather go to the concert in a giant vibrator than in a Texan-mobile, she climbs aboard and asks the others who that remarkably handsome man is walking over the hill.

As he approaches they realise it is Ric.

"Hi! Has anyone seen my evil, gay twin? I was sure I saw him a minute ago, as I went off to have a slash behind that bush."

"Nope" said everyone in unison. Katie, put forward her request for the big pink didlo bus, but everyone else said no. However Ghost said that he would specially convert his HellCycle, into a dildo, so that him a Katie could ride it....

**ghost ryder** · May 29th, 2001, 04:48 PM

Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long Dildo that was supplied curtesy of Ian's fettish emporium. He goes charging towards the evil Ked and pushes the on button but nothing happens. Meanwhile Ian, back at the emporium(didn't like the swedish massage parlour that much) get's a blip on his world map that one of his products is malfuctioning, so he gets into his bing pink VW van and comes rushing over at light spead. he runs out of his van towards ric and the vibrator (that ric has nicknamed 'Big Frank').

"Here's a replacement", shouted Ian throwing an identical model to ric. Changing course Ian leaps into the bus and grabs a handfull of pop-corn from SD's big bucket (of popcorn). He setlles down with the rest of them to see how ric is going to get out of this predicament.

Ric is very well versed in the use of dildos for some reason and manages to stop the evil Ked by inserting it into Ked's orifice. Ked rather enjoyed this and grabbed ric and they both went smiling off into the sunset.

Looking at Ian and his pink van Katie notices that it looks an awful lot like a giant version of Big Arnie. Katie decides she'd rather go to the concert in a giant vibrator than in a Texan-mobile, she climbs aboard and asks the others who that remarkably handsome man is walking over the hill.

As he approaches they realise it is Ric.

"Hi! Has anyone seen my evil, gay twin? I was sure I saw him a minute ago, as I went off to have a slash behind that bush."

"Nope" said everyone in unison. Katie, put forward her request for the big pink didlo bus, but everyone else said no. However Ghost said that he would specially convert his HellCycle, into a dildo, so that him a Katie could ride it all she wanted.

"aaaaaaawwwww thanks ghostie" katie looked pleased

ghost then focused all his hellfire on the bike and it turned into a huge 10ft pink dildo!!

"oh wow it is HUGE, let me ride it" katie hops on and starts screamin "go go baby, yeah go!!!!"

now ghost had no transport, but ian invited him to ride shotgun in his pink van (which now actually looks like the a-team van)

so the gang all set off, and they are set to enter the dirty south...............louisiana

ghost decided to set the mood and slapped on some nelly "ride wit me" started blarin through the speakers and the gang were all cruisin but then they saw..........

Jethro · May 29th, 2001, 09:54 PM

edition
Everything was going well when parksie slammed on the brakes on the bus. He had spotted a big red button lying in the road behind them and SD was about to push it. Suddenly Katie burst out, "Don't touch that SD! It was too late, SD had already pushed it. Nothing happened immediately but, fearing the worst the gang climbed back onto the bus. Just when they thought the button might be harmless they all began to feel a tingling sensation in shell of the bus. The whole bus was vibrating rather vigorously. They turned to see evil Ked steering a giant robot straight at their beloved bus! Suddenly Ric came to the rescue with his very long Dildo that was supplied curtesy of Ian's fettish emporium. He goes charging towards the evil Ked and pushes the on button but nothing happens. Meanwhile Ian, back at the emporium(didn't like the swedish massage parlour that much) get's a blip on his world map that one of his products is malfuctioning, so he gets into his bing pink VW van and comes rushing over at light spead. he runs out of his van towards ric and the vibrator (that ric has nicknamed 'Big Frank').

"Here's a replacement", shouted Ian throwing an identical model to ric. Changing course Ian leaps into the bus and grabs a handfull of pop-corn from SD's big bucket (of popcorn). He setlles down with the rest of them to see how ric is going to get out of this predicament.

Ric is very well versed in the use of dildos for some reason and manages to stop the evil Ked by inserting it into Ked's orifice. Ked rather enjoyed this and grabbed ric and they both went smiling off into the sunset.

Looking at Ian and his pink van Katie notices that it looks an awful lot like a giant version of Big Arnie. Katie decides she'd rather go to the concert in a giant vibrator than in a Texan-mobile, she climbs aboard and asks the others who that remarkably handsome man is walking over the hill.

As he approaches they realise it is Ric.

"Hi! Has anyone seen my evil, gay twin? I was sure I saw him a minute ago, as I went off to have a slash behind that bush."

"Nope" said everyone in unison. Katie, put forward her request for the big pink didlo bus, but everyone else said no. However Ghost said that he would specially convert his HellCycle, into a dildo, so that him a Katie could ride it all she wanted.

"aaaaaaawwwww thanks ghostie" katie looked pleased

ghost then focused all his hellfire on the bike and it turned into a huge 10ft pink dildo!!

"oh wow it is HUGE, let me ride it" katie hops on and starts screamin "go go baby, yeah go!!!!"

now ghost had no transport, but ian invited him to ride shotgun in his pink van (which now actually looks like the a-team van)

so the gang all set off, and they are set to enter the dirty south...............louisiana

ghost decided to set the mood and slapped on some nelly "ride wit me" started blarin through the speakers and the gang were all cruisin but then they saw five blokes sitting out the front of a store playing banjos.

"Anyone seen Deliverance" asked Jethro apprehensively.

"Yeap", stated SD looking over towards Parksie with a wicked grin, "That's the move where the youn Brit gets to have wild sex with two teenage blond chicky babes".

"Thats the one", stated Jethro kicking Ric who was about to disagree. "Now do we have a young brit about?"

Parksie immediatly leaped out of a window, which was unfortunate because it was shut at the time and ran over to the banjo weilding inbreeds.

"Do any of you girls have daughters" asked a panting Parksie.

"No, but do you squeal like a Pig", asked one of the ugly banjo fornicating inbreeds.

"Er, no l support English football though" Stated Parksie proudly.

Hearing this the banjo cajoling yokels leaped to their feet, ran inside their shack, and locked all the doors.

"Damn" stated katie, "We need directions from those guys. Some one is going to have to go in there and ask"

"Not me" stated Parksie who was upset about the reaction to his football allegiences, and was currently kicking the barn down.

"Sorry Katie, you know l'm allergic to banjo playing seppos" stated Jethro as he eyed up the local talent in the sheep paddock. "Guess there might be a bit of BBQ to be done here!"

"Religous belief," stated Ghost " those guys are pigs."

"Hmm that leaves Ric and SD", Katie looked at the two who were still trying to get over the Bush interlude.

"Well l can't do it", stated Ric, "Just had me hair done you see guv. Could go all pear shape like."

"OK count on me," SD headed towards the Cabin, "If there's one thing l like its......

**SurfDemon** · May 30th, 2001, 02:28 PM

"Sorry Katie, you know l'm allergic to banjo playing seppos" stated Jethro as he eyed up the local talent in the sheep paddock. "Guess there might be a bit of BBQ to be done here!"

"Religous belief," stated Ghost " those guys are pigs."

"Hmm that leaves Ric and SD", Katie looked at the two who were still trying to get over the Bush interlude.

"Well l can't do it", stated Ric, "Just had me hair done you see guv. Could go all pear shape like."

"OK count on me," SD headed towards the Cabin, "If there's one thing l like its a nymphomaniac barmaid, but seeing as that has nothing to do with the plot I'll go in here and talk to these red-necks."

SD knocks politely on the door and says "Hello anyone home."

The door swings open and Billy-Bob leers out. "What in tarnashion are you."

"I'm the local lotto representative and you've won big my friend. All you have to do is answer one simple question (legal sort of stuff you know). The question is 'what is the quickest way to New York.'"

"Oh, thats easy! You just follow yonder road for a bit and take a left at the big sign that says 'this way for the Black Sabbath concert in New York.", he replies.

"Thats convenient.", muses SD, "You've won big my friend. One of my colleuges will be around tommorrow with a cheque for $1,000,000. Congratulations. Might I suggest that you all go into town tonight and spend big to celebrate.".

SD shakes the hill-billies hand and wanders back to the bus.

"You know SD, you can be a right b*stard when you set your mind to it.", says Katie.

"Why thank you."

So they drive off down the road, until the come to the conveniently placed sign and head for New York, New York.

"What I wouldn't give for a bath with bubbles.", mused Jethro.

"Who is Bubbles?", asks Katie.

"Michael Jackson's monkey.", replies Jethro,"but I know he'll never go with me. Apparently Michael Jackson is forever blowing Bubbles

"

**barrk** · May 30th, 2001, 04:21 PM

SD knocks politely on the door and says "Hello anyone home."

The door swings open and Billy-Bob leers out. "What in tarnashion are you."

"I'm the local lotto representative and you've won big my friend. All you have to do is answer one simple question (legal sort of stuff you know). The question is 'what is the quickest way to New York.'"

"Oh, thats easy! You just follow yonder road for a bit and take a left at the big sign that says 'this way for the Black Sabbath concert in New York.", he replies.

"Thats convenient.", muses SD, "You've won big my friend. One of my colleuges will be around tommorrow with a cheque for $1,000,000. Congratulations. Might I suggest that you all go into town tonight and spend big to celebrate.".

SD shakes the hill-billies hand and wanders back to the bus.

"You know SD, you can be a right b*stard when you set your mind to it.", says Katie.

"Why thank you."

So they drive off down the road, until the come to the conveniently placed sign and head for New York, New York.

"What I wouldn't give for a bath with bubbles.", mused Jethro.

"Who is Bubbles?", asks Katie.

"Michael Jackson's monkey.", replies Jethro,"but I know he'll never go with me. Apparently Michael Jackson is forever blowing Bubbles"

"You'll just have to stick with Daisy then, Jethro." replied Katie. "But when we get to the concert I'll see if Ozzy will share his chickens with you"

"Thanks, Katie. That would do fine." said Jethro. "Do you think he would also share his.........

ricmitch_uk · May 30th, 2001, 04:36 PM

"Thats convenient.", muses SD, "You've won big my friend. One of my colleuges will be around tommorrow with a cheque for $1,000,000. Congratulations. Might I suggest that you all go into town tonight and spend big to celebrate.".

SD shakes the hill-billies hand and wanders back to the bus.

"You know SD, you can be a right b*stard when you set your mind to it.", says Katie.

"Why thank you."

So they drive off down the road, until the come to the conveniently placed sign and head for New York, New York.

"What I wouldn't give for a bath with bubbles.", mused Jethro.

"Who is Bubbles?", asks Katie.

"Michael Jackson's monkey.", replies Jethro,"but I know he'll never go with me. Apparently Michael Jackson is forever blowing Bubbles"

"You'll just have to stick with Daisy then, Jethro." replied Katie. "But when we get to the concert I'll see if Ozzy will share his chickens with you"

"Thanks, Katie. That would do fine." said Jethro. "Do you think he would also share his drugs, I feel like going on a bender

" said Jethro with a wink.

"I doubt it," said Ric "He'd probably be too sotned to understand concepts like, share, normal, bathroom and stuff."

"Damn!" exclaimed Jethro. "Well, I suppose I can always get some off John, he's bound to be there, being the hardcore rock fan he is."

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank."

**barrk** · May 30th, 2001, 04:39 PM

So they drive off down the road, until the come to the conveniently placed sign and head for New York, New York.

"What I wouldn't give for a bath with bubbles.", mused Jethro.

"Who is Bubbles?", asks Katie.

"Michael Jackson's monkey.", replies Jethro,"but I know he'll never go with me. Apparently Michael Jackson is forever blowing Bubbles"

"You'll just have to stick with Daisy then, Jethro." replied Katie. "But when we get to the concert I'll see if Ozzy will share his chickens with you"

"Thanks, Katie. That would do fine." said Jethro. "Do you think he would also share his drugs, I feel like going on a bender" said Jethro with a wink.

"I doubt it," said Ric "He'd probably be too sotned to understand concepts like, share, normal, bathroom and stuff."

"Damn!" exclaimed Jethro. "Well, I suppose I can always get some off John, he's bound to be there, being the hardcore rock fan he is."

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I..........

Jethro · May 30th, 2001, 05:35 PM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow.....

**barrk** · May 30th, 2001, 05:37 PM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as..........

Jethro · May 30th, 2001, 05:58 PM

barrk
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Registered: Sep 00
Location: First star to the left and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 161
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"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp.....

**ghost ryder** · May 30th, 2001, 06:23 PM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now

)

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie..................

Jethro · May 30th, 2001, 06:32 PM

Just an aside.....ghost....lol....

**Jotaf98** · May 31st, 2001, 04:06 AM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now )

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie... remember that time when you had a band, back in 1978? Well, I never told you but... we were really big fans of your band. Can we join?

"

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played...

**SurfDemon** · May 31st, 2001, 09:18 AM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now )

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie... remember that time when you had a band, back in 1978? Well, I never told you but... we were really big fans of your band. Can we join?

"

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played Shotguns and the first one to Barf has to choose the song."

"What's Shotguns?", asked Jotaf.

"Well it's simple really.", explained SD. "We all get a can of beer each, punch a hole in the side with a that little spikey device on the swiss-army knife that nobody seems to know what it does. [knives are way to dangerous when your drunk]. Then put your finger over the hole, shake the can up vigurously then put your lips over the hole, and suck the contents of the can out. After about 1.372 seconds the pressure will drop off, pull the ring pull on the can (holding the can upright), and the release of air into the can should shoot the rest of the contents down your throat. Be aware that some might come out your nose, whilst this is a waste of good beer it is acceptable. A time of about 4-6 seconds is good for finishing a pint can. Everyone has to do this at the same time. If nobody barfs first time round, repeat until somebody does."

As an afterthought SD added,"I should point out that you don't want to try this with 'draughtflow' beers like Guinness, Boddingtons or Kilkenny'"

So they all got there tins of beer (except for Katie, who believes only red-necks drink out of tins and had drilled a hole into a bottle of beer using a convenient laser [no-glass shards in bottle]). After a vigurous shaking they all fired their "shotguns" down their throats. The most amazing things about this was...

**Jotaf98** · Jun 1st, 2001, 12:12 PM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now )

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie... remember that time when you had a band, back in 1978? Well, I never told you but... we were really big fans of your band. Can we join? "

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played Shotguns and the first one to Barf has to choose the song."

"What's Shotguns?", asked Jotaf.

"Well it's simple really.", explained SD. "We all get a can of beer each, punch a hole in the side with a that little spikey device on the swiss-army knife that nobody seems to know what it does. [knives are way to dangerous when your drunk]. Then put your finger over the hole, shake the can up vigurously then put your lips over the hole, and suck the contents of the can out. After about 1.372 seconds the pressure will drop off, pull the ring pull on the can (holding the can upright), and the release of air into the can should shoot the rest of the contents down your throat. Be aware that some might come out your nose, whilst this is a waste of good beer it is acceptable. A time of about 4-6 seconds is good for finishing a pint can. Everyone has to do this at the same time. If nobody barfs first time round, repeat until somebody does."

As an afterthought SD added,"I should point out that you don't want to try this with 'draughtflow' beers like Guinness, Boddingtons or Kilkenny'"

So they all got there tins of beer (except for Katie, who believes only red-necks drink out of tins and had drilled a hole into a bottle of beer using a convenient laser [no-glass shards in bottle]). After a vigurous shaking they all fired their "shotguns" down their throats. The most amazing things about this was that every time they did that, most of the beer came out of their nose. At the end they were so drunk they made a contest, to see who could throw it further.

Obviously, Jethro was the winner when he tried that with a 5 gallons beer can

But Jotaf, who had a natural immunity to this kind of stuff, wasn't that drunk at all (just a bit dizzy

), so he asked "Hey guys, what does this have to do with our band? I thought we were trying to get money to go to the concert!"

"Well, ask SD. He's the one who suggested this

" said Parksie

"Ok, ok - does anyone have a REALLY good idea on what can we sing to earn some money?" said Katie, starting to get worried about the concert.

[Please oh please please please write something FUN 'cause this thread is DYING

Look at the second page or so! It was far beter than this.]

**SurfDemon** · Jun 1st, 2001, 12:21 PM

"Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now )

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie... remember that time when you had a band, back in 1978? Well, I never told you but... we were really big fans of your band. Can we join? "

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played Shotguns and the first one to Barf has to choose the song."

"What's Shotguns?", asked Jotaf.

"Well it's simple really.", explained SD. "We all get a can of beer each, punch a hole in the side with a that little spikey device on the swiss-army knife that nobody seems to know what it does. [knives are way to dangerous when your drunk]. Then put your finger over the hole, shake the can up vigurously then put your lips over the hole, and suck the contents of the can out. After about 1.372 seconds the pressure will drop off, pull the ring pull on the can (holding the can upright), and the release of air into the can should shoot the rest of the contents down your throat. Be aware that some might come out your nose, whilst this is a waste of good beer it is acceptable. A time of about 4-6 seconds is good for finishing a pint can. Everyone has to do this at the same time. If nobody barfs first time round, repeat until somebody does."

As an afterthought SD added,"I should point out that you don't want to try this with 'draughtflow' beers like Guinness, Boddingtons or Kilkenny'"

So they all got there tins of beer (except for Katie, who believes only red-necks drink out of tins and had drilled a hole into a bottle of beer using a convenient laser [no-glass shards in bottle]). After a vigurous shaking they all fired their "shotguns" down their throats. The most amazing things about this was that every time they did that, most of the beer came out of their nose. At the end they were so drunk they made a contest, to see who could throw it further.

Obviously, Jethro was the winner when he tried that with a 5 gallons beer can

But Jotaf, who had a natural immunity to this kind of stuff, wasn't that drunk at all (just a bit dizzy

), so he asked "Hey guys, what does this have to do with our band? I thought we were trying to get money to go to the concert!"

"Well, ask SD. He's the one who suggested this

" said Parksie

"Ok, ok - does anyone have a REALLY good idea on what can we sing to earn some money?" said Katie, starting to get worried about the concert.

"Well we could by some tickets off that Lion over there.", said Jethro pointing to a ticket toute, who was, inexplicably, a lion complete with mane etc.

"Hey Buddy, got any tickets for sale.", asked Jotaf.

"Roar", said the lion, "Nope, but if you give me $5 each I'll have some for you in a couple of hours."

"Well gang, do we trust him?", asked Katie.

"Hang on", said SD turning to the lion. "What's your fathers name?"

"Dunno, my parent's never got married.", replied the lion.

"Just as I suspected." said SD, "we can't trust him."

"Why's that?" asked Katie, rolling her eyes and waiting for the inevitable punch line.

"Because he's a lion b*stard", replied SD.

"That was an awful lot of work for a terrible pun", observed Jethro, "and we still don't have any tickets."

Just then.....

ricmitch_uk · Jun 1st, 2001, 12:31 PM

Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now )

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie... remember that time when you had a band, back in 1978? Well, I never told you but... we were really big fans of your band. Can we join? "

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played Shotguns and the first one to Barf has to choose the song."

"What's Shotguns?", asked Jotaf.

"Well it's simple really.", explained SD. "We all get a can of beer each, punch a hole in the side with a that little spikey device on the swiss-army knife that nobody seems to know what it does. [knives are way to dangerous when your drunk]. Then put your finger over the hole, shake the can up vigurously then put your lips over the hole, and suck the contents of the can out. After about 1.372 seconds the pressure will drop off, pull the ring pull on the can (holding the can upright), and the release of air into the can should shoot the rest of the contents down your throat. Be aware that some might come out your nose, whilst this is a waste of good beer it is acceptable. A time of about 4-6 seconds is good for finishing a pint can. Everyone has to do this at the same time. If nobody barfs first time round, repeat until somebody does."

As an afterthought SD added,"I should point out that you don't want to try this with 'draughtflow' beers like Guinness, Boddingtons or Kilkenny'"

So they all got there tins of beer (except for Katie, who believes only red-necks drink out of tins and had drilled a hole into a bottle of beer using a convenient laser [no-glass shards in bottle]). After a vigurous shaking they all fired their "shotguns" down their throats. The most amazing things about this was that every time they did that, most of the beer came out of their nose. At the end they were so drunk they made a contest, to see who could throw it further.

Obviously, Jethro was the winner when he tried that with a 5 gallons beer can

But Jotaf, who had a natural immunity to this kind of stuff, wasn't that drunk at all (just a bit dizzy

), so he asked "Hey guys, what does this have to do with our band? I thought we were trying to get money to go to the concert!"

"Well, ask SD. He's the one who suggested this

" said Parksie

"Ok, ok - does anyone have a REALLY good idea on what can we sing to earn some money?" said Katie, starting to get worried about the concert.

"Well we could by some tickets off that Lion over there.", said Jethro pointing to a ticket toute, who was, inexplicably, a lion complete with mane etc.

"Hey Buddy, got any tickets for sale.", asked Jotaf.

"Roar", said the lion, "Nope, but if you give me $5 each I'll have some for you in a couple of hours."

"Well gang, do we trust him?", asked Katie.

"Hang on", said SD turning to the lion. "What's your fathers name?"

"Dunno, my parent's never got married.", replied the lion.

"Just as I suspected." said SD, "we can't trust him."

"Why's that?" asked Katie, rolling her eyes and waiting for the inevitable punch line.

"Because he's a lion b*stard", replied SD.

"That was an awful lot of work for a terrible pun", observed Jethro, "and we still don't have any tickets."

Just then Ric came back from his secret meeting with Bob the counterfeiter round the back with a 'Fistfull of Dollars'

....

**SurfDemon** · Jun 1st, 2001, 12:34 PM

Hold on a minute," said SD, "why are we going, if we don't have tickets, do you really expect we'll get in for such a high profile concert with tickets?"

"$h¡t!" shouted everyone at once.

"Let's have a whip round!" suggested Parksie. "Great, Bags I first with the whip," said Dennis. While SD explained to Dennis that whip round was something you asked your mates not a mistress, Parkise managed to find the grand total of $5 46¢ behind the seats of the bus, and bizarrely, underneath the rubber lining of Katie's dildo hellcycle. All together they managed to come up with $10.

"Right!" said Katie decisively, "We can't just go home, but we need money to get into the concert, and lots of it. It's times like these when you need to.... rob a bank. Or better yet" said Katie, "We could just remind Ozzie of that time back in 1978 when I helped the band out of a jam. They didn't have any chicks who could blow a decent trumpet. I joined the band a blew them all away! I'm sure he'd let you guys in too if you all dressed up as Ironman.

"Well not too much problem there little lady. Us lads are pretty much like that all the time. Ah, no l didn't mean that SD, and no we don't need to see your iron rod again.".

"Can l wear my new pink mini.". Gushed Ghost eagerly. "This one time at band camp i beat up tony blair with my chain and stole this pink mini skirt, i wear it as some sort of headgear. u know it is the only thing i have found that doesnt burn when i set my head on fire!!"

"sure ghostie, you can wear it" katie answers

"hey guys, lets go and talk to ozzie!!" SD was very eager because ozzie was standing a few feet away from them
katie sauntered over to ozzie, and said hi. he ignored her, so she unbuttoned a couple of buttons her shirt and then she said hi again

"hey luv, how can i service you??" (ozzie seemed to notice her now )

katie paused, then replied "well ozzie... remember that time when you had a band, back in 1978? Well, I never told you but... we were really big fans of your band. Can we join? "

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played Shotguns and the first one to Barf has to choose the song."

"What's Shotguns?", asked Jotaf.

"Well it's simple really.", explained SD. "We all get a can of beer each, punch a hole in the side with a that little spikey device on the swiss-army knife that nobody seems to know what it does. [knives are way to dangerous when your drunk]. Then put your finger over the hole, shake the can up vigurously then put your lips over the hole, and suck the contents of the can out. After about 1.372 seconds the pressure will drop off, pull the ring pull on the can (holding the can upright), and the release of air into the can should shoot the rest of the contents down your throat. Be aware that some might come out your nose, whilst this is a waste of good beer it is acceptable. A time of about 4-6 seconds is good for finishing a pint can. Everyone has to do this at the same time. If nobody barfs first time round, repeat until somebody does."

As an afterthought SD added,"I should point out that you don't want to try this with 'draughtflow' beers like Guinness, Boddingtons or Kilkenny'"

So they all got there tins of beer (except for Katie, who believes only red-necks drink out of tins and had drilled a hole into a bottle of beer using a convenient laser [no-glass shards in bottle]). After a vigurous shaking they all fired their "shotguns" down their throats. The most amazing things about this was that every time they did that, most of the beer came out of their nose. At the end they were so drunk they made a contest, to see who could throw it further.

Obviously, Jethro was the winner when he tried that with a 5 gallons beer can

But Jotaf, who had a natural immunity to this kind of stuff, wasn't that drunk at all (just a bit dizzy

), so he asked "Hey guys, what does this have to do with our band? I thought we were trying to get money to go to the concert!"

"Well, ask SD. He's the one who suggested this

" said Parksie

"Ok, ok - does anyone have a REALLY good idea on what can we sing to earn some money?" said Katie, starting to get worried about the concert.

"Well we could by some tickets off that Lion over there.", said Jethro pointing to a ticket toute, who was, inexplicably, a lion complete with mane etc.

"Hey Buddy, got any tickets for sale.", asked Jotaf.

"Roar", said the lion, "Nope, but if you give me $5 each I'll have some for you in a couple of hours."

"Well gang, do we trust him?", asked Katie.

"Hang on", said SD turning to the lion. "What's your fathers name?"

"Dunno, my parent's never got married.", replied the lion.

"Just as I suspected." said SD, "we can't trust him."

"Why's that?" asked Katie, rolling her eyes and waiting for the inevitable punch line.

"Because he's a lion b*stard", replied SD.

"That was an awful lot of work for a terrible pun", observed Jethro, "and we still don't have any tickets."

Just then Ric came back from his secret meeting with Bob the counterfeiter round the back with a 'Fistfull of Dollars'

"Hey for a few dollars more we could buy a movie", said SD.

"That was Good", remarked Katie.

"Bad and Ugly." disagreed Ghost.

**barrk** · Jun 1st, 2001, 03:31 PM

Ozzie wasn't too convinced, but then Katie unbuttoned one more button and he let them in.

"All right! Now what are we gonna sing, and where?"

SD was the first one to suggest something. "Well, I've got an idea! What about if we played Shotguns and the first one to Barf has to choose the song."

"What's Shotguns?", asked Jotaf.

"Well it's simple really.", explained SD. "We all get a can of beer each, punch a hole in the side with a that little spikey device on the swiss-army knife that nobody seems to know what it does. [knives are way to dangerous when your drunk]. Then put your finger over the hole, shake the can up vigurously then put your lips over the hole, and suck the contents of the can out. After about 1.372 seconds the pressure will drop off, pull the ring pull on the can (holding the can upright), and the release of air into the can should shoot the rest of the contents down your throat. Be aware that some might come out your nose, whilst this is a waste of good beer it is acceptable. A time of about 4-6 seconds is good for finishing a pint can. Everyone has to do this at the same time. If nobody barfs first time round, repeat until somebody does."

As an afterthought SD added,"I should point out that you don't want to try this with 'draughtflow' beers like Guinness, Boddingtons or Kilkenny'"

So they all got there tins of beer (except for Katie, who believes only red-necks drink out of tins and had drilled a hole into a bottle of beer using a convenient laser [no-glass shards in bottle]). After a vigurous shaking they all fired their "shotguns" down their throats. The most amazing things about this was that every time they did that, most of the beer came out of their nose. At the end they were so drunk they made a contest, to see who could throw it further.

Obviously, Jethro was the winner when he tried that with a 5 gallons beer can

But Jotaf, who had a natural immunity to this kind of stuff, wasn't that drunk at all (just a bit dizzy ), so he asked "Hey guys, what does this have to do with our band? I thought we were trying to get money to go to the concert!"

"Well, ask SD. He's the one who suggested this " said Parksie

"Ok, ok - does anyone have a REALLY good idea on what can we sing to earn some money?" said Katie, starting to get worried about the concert.

"Well we could by some tickets off that Lion over there.", said Jethro pointing to a ticket toute, who was, inexplicably, a lion complete with mane etc.

"Hey Buddy, got any tickets for sale.", asked Jotaf.

"Roar", said the lion, "Nope, but if you give me $5 each I'll have some for you in a couple of hours."

"Well gang, do we trust him?", asked Katie.

"Hang on", said SD turning to the lion. "What's your fathers name?"

"Dunno, my parent's never got married.", replied the lion.

"Just as I suspected." said SD, "we can't trust him."

"Why's that?" asked Katie, rolling her eyes and waiting for the inevitable punch line.

"Because he's a lion b*stard", replied SD.

"That was an awful lot of work for a terrible pun", observed Jethro, "and we still don't have any tickets."

Just then Ric came back from his secret meeting with Bob the counterfeiter round the back with a 'Fistfull of Dollars'

"Hey for a few dollars more we could buy a movie", said SD.

"That was Good", remarked Katie.

"Bad and Ugly." disagreed Ghost.

"Okay, enough!", said Katie. "You guys can sit here and tell bad jokes and drink beer but I'm getting aboard Ozzie's crazy train and I'm going to see the concert! Anyone want to join me?"

"Sure", said Jethro. "But what are we going to do about........

ricmitch_uk · Jun 1st, 2001, 03:40 PM

"Well we could by some tickets off that Lion over there.", said Jethro pointing to a ticket toute, who was, inexplicably, a lion complete with mane etc.

"Hey Buddy, got any tickets for sale.", asked Jotaf.

"Roar", said the lion, "Nope, but if you give me $5 each I'll have some for you in a couple of hours."

"Well gang, do we trust him?", asked Katie.

"Hang on", said SD turning to the lion. "What's your fathers name?"

"Dunno, my parent's never got married.", replied the lion.

"Just as I suspected." said SD, "we can't trust him."

"Why's that?" asked Katie, rolling her eyes and waiting for the inevitable punch line.

"Because he's a lion b*stard", replied SD.

"That was an awful lot of work for a terrible pun", observed Jethro, "and we still don't have any tickets."

Just then Ric came back from his secret meeting with Bob the counterfeiter round the back with a 'Fistfull of Dollars'

"Hey for a few dollars more we could buy a movie", said SD.

"That was Good", remarked Katie.

"Bad and Ugly." disagreed Ghost.

"Okay, enough!", said Katie. "You guys can sit here and tell bad jokes and drink beer but I'm getting aboard Ozzie's crazy train and I'm going to see the concert! Anyone want to join me?"

"Sure", said Jethro. "But what are we going to do about Ric? We'll never get him past security, he looks to young to be going to a concert of this sort, we're going to have to find a disguise."

"Well I've got a pink dress I carry around with me for the weekends

" said SD.

"That's not what I had in mind," said Jethro, "but...", Jethro whispered in SD's pointy ear.

"Yeah, sure! You can borrow it whenever you want Jethro!"

**Jotaf98** · Jun 1st, 2001, 05:50 PM

"Well we could by some tickets off that Lion over there.", said Jethro pointing to a ticket toute, who was, inexplicably, a lion complete with mane etc.

"Hey Buddy, got any tickets for sale.", asked Jotaf.

"Roar", said the lion, "Nope, but if you give me $5 each I'll have some for you in a couple of hours."

"Well gang, do we trust him?", asked Katie.

"Hang on", said SD turning to the lion. "What's your fathers name?"

"Dunno, my parent's never got married.", replied the lion.

"Just as I suspected." said SD, "we can't trust him."

"Why's that?" asked Katie, rolling her eyes and waiting for the inevitable punch line.

"Because he's a lion b*stard", replied SD.

"That was an awful lot of work for a terrible pun", observed Jethro, "and we still don't have any tickets."

Just then Ric came back from his secret meeting with Bob the counterfeiter round the back with a 'Fistfull of Dollars'

"Hey for a few dollars more we could buy a movie", said SD.

"That was Good", remarked Katie.

"Bad and Ugly." disagreed Ghost.

"Okay, enough!", said Katie. "You guys can sit here and tell bad jokes and drink beer but I'm getting aboard Ozzie's crazy train and I'm going to see the concert! Anyone want to join me?"

"Sure", said Jethro. "But what are we going to do about Ric? We'll never get him past security, he looks to young to be going to a concert of this sort, we're going to have to find a disguise."

"Well I've got a pink dress I carry around with me for the weekends" said SD.

"That's not what I had in mind," said Jethro, "but...", Jethro whispered in SD's pointy ear.

"Yeah, sure! You can borrow it whenever you want Jethro!"

"What are you guys talking about?" said Katie

"Well, here's my idea:" said Jethro "SD will lend Ric his genital expander, and he'll look more "mature", so they'll let him in! What do you think?

"

**ghost ryder** · Jun 6th, 2001, 04:55 AM

"Okay, enough!", said Katie. "You guys can sit here and tell bad jokes and drink beer but I'm getting aboard Ozzie's crazy train and I'm going to see the concert! Anyone want to join me?"

"Sure", said Jethro. "But what are we going to do about Ric? We'll never get him past security, he looks to young to be going to a concert of this sort, we're going to have to find a disguise."

"Well I've got a pink dress I carry around with me for the weekends" said SD.

"That's not what I had in mind," said Jethro, "but...", Jethro whispered in SD's pointy ear.

"Yeah, sure! You can borrow it whenever you want Jethro!"

"What are you guys talking about?" said Katie

"Well, here's my idea:" said Jethro "SD will lend Ric his genital expander, and he'll look more "mature", so they'll let him in! What do you think? "

"that could work" said katie

ok lets go!!

the gang are at the concert all moshing away, everyone is drunk, apart from ghost. jethro is next to a speaker and has gone deaf in one ear, but he doesnt care!!

the next morning, they all wake up smelling of vomit and alkahol, apart from ghost, who wakes up a van with sofia vergara and anna falchi

ozzie is with them, no-one quite knows why, but they dont care.

just then ozzie shouts "hey!! lets all go 2 london and meet the queen!!"
the gang all look uncertain, especially ghost (who is in a van with 2 borgeous supermodels) or SD who has found a collection of tube socks and a collection of demon porn)

"hey you t****r get away from my porn!!" ozzie ran at SD with his mic stand
"hey ozzie, lets go 2 london" katie is unbuttoning her shirt again, but cos she has done this so much, it is now open 2 her waist, so she does it up and starts from the top

all of the gang jump on the plane for the trans-atlantic flight, ghost has managed 2 get anna falchi and sofia vergara 2 come with him, and SD has stored the tube socks safely in the overhead compartment. who knows what adventures lie ahead??

ricmitch_uk · Jun 11th, 2001, 02:04 PM

Sorry ppl. This thread is dying... and someones got to end it...

the gang are at the concert all moshing away, everyone is drunk, apart from ghost. jethro is next to a speaker and has gone deaf in one ear, but he doesnt care!!

the next morning, they all wake up smelling of vomit and alkahol, apart from ghost, who wakes up a van with sofia vergara and anna falchi
ozzie is with them, no-one quite knows why, but they dont care.

just then ozzie shouts "hey!! lets all go 2 london and meet the queen!!"
the gang all look uncertain, especially ghost (who is in a van with 2 borgeous supermodels) or SD who has found a collection of tube socks and a collection of demon porn)

"hey you t****r get away from my porn!!" ozzie ran at SD with his mic stand
"hey ozzie, lets go 2 london" katie is unbuttoning her shirt again, but cos she has done this so much, it is now open 2 her waist, so she does it up and starts from the top

all of the gang jump on the plane for the trans-atlantic flight, ghost has managed 2 get anna falchi and sofia vergara 2 come with him, and SD has stored the tube socks safely in the overhead compartment. who knows what adventures lie ahead??
And the plane flew off over the horizon and into certain doom.

THE END
of part one....

**barrk** · Jun 11th, 2001, 03:35 PM

Is someone going to save this for posterity?

ricmitch_uk · Jun 12th, 2001, 12:36 PM

I'm compiling a version of the story without all the repetition etc. It's gonna be posted in full on the quick site I'm making for the post race. Coming soon....

**parksie** · Jun 12th, 2001, 12:40 PM

I was going to do that but couldn't be bothered

**Jotaf98** · Jun 13th, 2001, 03:20 PM

Me too... I was gonna suggest that at any time

Anyway... when it's ready let us know, ok?

Good job everyone

Can't wait 'til Part II (please e-mail everyone when you do this)

**Ianpbaker** · Oct 6th, 2001, 06:17 AM

http://www.vbforums.com/showthread.p...hreadid=108781

Here is an idea the sequel

comming soon to a browser near you.

Bigger gun's
Bigger explosions
Bigger Arnie's
This time it's personal

ricmitch_uk · Oct 6th, 2001, 07:46 AM

lol

**Jotaf98** · Oct 7th, 2001, 01:38 PM

Hehe "Bigger Arnie's"

lol

jumpbackjack · Nov 12th, 2001, 11:33 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a water pistol, Ben slapped him about a bit and instead pulled out his 44 Magnum, then suddenly ....when he realized he hadn't purchased this years hunting license and was therefore unlawfully in possession of a firearm, he

**Jotaf98** · Nov 13th, 2001, 06:28 PM

Hum you're missing some parts... and it's not complete, the whole story is much bigger than that

Oh wait, you're trying to bring this thread back to life?... Yeah I know it was an excellent thread back in the old times, but when Ian tried to make part 2, Katie wasn't there, and we were lacking members

ricmitch_uk · Jun 27th, 2002, 04:04 PM

*bump!*

It's time this thread was brought back into fashion

We've got more fun and nutty members than ever, hopefully it'll take off again

(if you don't know what this is all about, click here.)

Once upon a time....

**barrk** · Jun 27th, 2002, 05:11 PM

Once upon a time in a land of magic and make-believe there lived a creature so astounding, so amazing, so magical that no one...

ricmitch_uk · Jun 30th, 2002, 11:16 AM

Once upon a time in a land of magic and make-believe there lived a creature so astounding, so amazing, so magical that no one had seen it and survived. It's amazingness just blew them away. This marvellous creature's name was...

**Wynd** · Jun 30th, 2002, 03:04 PM

Once upon a time in a land of magic and make-believe there lived a creature so astounding, so amazing, so magical that no one had seen it and survived. It's amazingness just blew them away. This marvellous creature's name was Stefan Raab. It wandered the land far and wide, telling riddles that made no sense whatsoever and planting raddisches along the way, thus earning itself the nickname Johnny Raddischseed. One fine morning after brunch...

Thread: here is an idea

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