Probably been done

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:07 AM

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his arse?

Warren

**RSINGH** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:07 AM

Wally??

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:09 AM

What do you call a woman who can balance 3 pints on her head?

Beatrix

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:16 AM

What do you call a woman who can balance 3 pints on her head
and play snooker at the same time?

Beatrix Potter

**MerrionComputin** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:20 AM

What do you call a quadraplegic who can swim the channel?
Clever dick

What do you call a man with three planks on hid head?
Edward Woodward

What do you call an epileptic in a shrub?
Russel

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:21 AM

What do you call 2 men with bacon on their heads?

Rashid and Ahmed

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:22 AM

What do you call a man with 2 rashers of bacon on his head.

Mohammed

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:24 AM

What do you call a quadraplegic in a swimming pool?

Bob

**RSINGH** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:25 AM

What do you call a man between 2 houses? Ali

**RSINGH** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:26 AM

On a different note.....

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus.

He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus.

"He can play any musical instrument in the world."

Everyone in the bar laughs at the man, calling him an idiot.

So he says that he will wager £50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus.
Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix.
The guitar man pays up his £50.

Another guy walks up with a trumpet.
This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Miles Davis.
This guy pays up his £ 50.

Then a Scotsman walks up with some bagpipes.
He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and then sits down with a confused look.
"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can ye not play it?"
The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to shag it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off!"

**JPicasso** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:28 AM

I don't get the bacon jokes.

but here's a good one.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender
says "Why the long face?"

ba da dum!

**RSINGH** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:29 AM

Two Essex girls walking down Southend promenade, one says to the other "It's my little boy's birthday tomorrow, you'll never guess what he wants Sharon". "What's that then, Tracy" says the second. "Well Sharon, he wants a pet skunk!!" says Tracy. "Where the hell will you get one of them?" asks Sharon. Tracy replies "I have a cunning plan - I'll nip down the local zoo tonight, break in, find the skunk's cage, unlock the door, whip the skunk under my skirt and get it home". Sharon, puzzled, "What about the smell??" Tracy answers "Well, if it dies, it dies !!!"

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:37 AM

Originally posted by JPicasso
I don't get the bacon jokes.

Are you asking for an explanation of a joke?

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:40 AM

Sharon gets hit by a car on her way home.

As she lies in the road a policeman bends over her.

"Are you alright my dear?" he asks.

"I'm dizzy and can't see properly" replies Sharon.

"OK, how many fingers have I got up?" asks the policeman.

"Oh! God I must be paralysed as well, I can't feel any" screams Sharon

**mendhak** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:40 AM

A group of psychiatrists go to tour an insane asylum that is renowned for their progressive rehabilitation methods. They begin by visiting some of the patients.
The first patient they visit is a young woman. She is practicing ballet. One of the psychiatrist asks, "What are you doing?" She replies, "I'm studying ballet so when I get out of here I can possibly join a troupe and be a productive member of society."

"Wow, that's wonderful."

The next person was a man reading a book with a pile of books next to him. The same question asked to him, "What are you doing?"

"I'm studying biology, chemistry, etc. So I can enter medical school when I get out"

Room after room, they witnessed the incredible success and attitudes of the patients. Until they finally reached a room the asylums director was reluctant to open. Finally, he was persuaded to open it.

Inside was a man balancing a peanut on his *****. The reaction of the psychiatrist, "My God what are you doing?"

The man replied: "I'm fecking nuts and I'm never getting out of here"

**mendhak** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:42 AM

You should change the title to "Joke Thread #122" instead of "pro'lly beeen done b4"

**JPicasso** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:58 AM

Originally posted by GlenW

Are you asking for an explanation of a joke?

NO, I'm asking you to tell jokes that are in some way, funny.

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 07:59 AM

Originally posted by JPicasso

NO, I'm asking you to tell jokes that are in some way, funny.

If you don't understand it, how do you know if it is funny or not?

**Wally Pipp** · Apr 19th, 2002, 08:01 AM

[speaker]

"And in the left corner ... "

[/speaker]

**RSINGH** · Apr 19th, 2002, 08:03 AM

Originally posted by JPicasso

NO, I'm asking you to tell jokes that are in some way, funny.

Care to show us how its done??

**SjR** · Apr 19th, 2002, 08:32 AM

**JPicasso** · Apr 19th, 2002, 08:46 AM

hehe, I'll have to get me some of those cooli smili's.

Hey, I got a

so I gave back a

I am NOT gettin dragged into a post war.

Nuf said.

and I still don't get the bacon jokes.

**GlenW** · Apr 19th, 2002, 08:47 AM

Originally posted by JPicasso
hehe, I'll have to get me some of those cooli smili's.

Hey, I got a
so I gave back a
I am NOT gettin dragged into a post war.
Nuf said.

and I still don't get the bacon jokes.

Sometimes the wait just isn't worth it.

**barrk** · Apr 19th, 2002, 10:15 AM

What do you call a one legged woman....

Eileen

**barrk** · Apr 19th, 2002, 10:16 AM

What do you call a one legged Asian woman....

Irene

**parksie** · Apr 19th, 2002, 01:25 PM

John walks into a bar.............

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