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Thread: Christmas Invitation

  1. Dec 18th, 2001, 08:14 AM #1
    jesus4u
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    Talking Christmas Invitation

    CHRISTMAS INVITATION
    YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY

    GUEST OF HONOR: Jesus Christ

    DATE: Every day. Traditionally, December 25, but He's always around, so the date is flexible.

    TIME: Whenever you're ready. Please don't be too late though, or you'll
    miss out on all the fun.

    PLACE: In your heart. He'll meet you there--you'll hear Him knock.

    ATTIRE: Come as you are. Grubbies are okay as He'll be washing our
    clothes anyway. He said something about new white robes and crowns for everyone who stays till the last.

    TICKETS: Admission is free. He's already paid for everyone. He says you wouldn't have been able to afford it-it's cost Him everything He had!

    REFRESHMENTS: New wine, bread and a far-out drink He calls "living
    water." This will be followed by a supper, that promises to be out of this world!!

    GIFT SUGGESTIONS: Your heart. He's one of those people who already has everything else. (He's very generous in return though-just wait until you see what He has for you ! )

    ENTERTAINMENT: Joy, Peace, Truth, Light, Life, Love, Real Happiness,
    Communion with God, Forgiveness, Miracles, Healing, Power, Eternity in
    His Kingdom...and much more! (All 'G' rated so bring your family and friends)

    RSVP: Very Important! He must know ahead, so He can reserve a spot for you at the table. Also, he's keeping a list of His friends for future reference.
    He calls it the "Lamb's Book of Life."

    PARTY GIVEN BY: His Kids. That's us! Hope To See You There! Let us
    rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear (linen stands for the righteous acts of the saints) Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!

    Revelation 19:7-9

    ALL OF YOU WHO WILL BE THERE-PLEASE SHARE THIS INVITATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
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  2. Dec 18th, 2001, 08:18 AM #2
    JungleMan
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    Just make sure he's got a lot of bitches there for us to bang up and I'm going.

    Jesus and I be doing teh pimpin yo!
    I'm bringing geeky back...
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  3. Dec 18th, 2001, 08:52 AM #3
    Gaffer
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    Huuuurrllll
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  4. Dec 19th, 2001, 05:17 PM #4
    JungleMan
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    boo-yah!
    I'm bringing geeky back...
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  6. Dec 19th, 2001, 06:59 PM #5
    parksie
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    So I suppose us devils who seem to delight in the sins of the flesh aren't invited to your white-robed party...
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds
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  7. Dec 19th, 2001, 07:43 PM #6
    Gray Duck
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    Re: Christmas Invitation

    Originally posted by jesus4u
    CHRISTMAS INVITATION
    YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO A CHRISTMAS PARTY

    GUEST OF HONOR: DJ Jesus Christ

    DATE: Every day. Traditionally, December 25, but He's always around, so the date is flexible.

    TIME: Whenever you're ready. Please don't be too late though, or you'll
    miss out on all the fun.

    PLACE: The same as usual.

    ATTIRE: Come as you are. Grubbies are okay as you'll be naked in a matter of seconds.

    TICKETS: Admission is free. He's already paid for everyone. He says you wouldn't have been able to afford it-it's cost Him everything He had!

    REFRESHMENTS: Heinken, Tuborg, the best Vodka, tasty Rum, strong Whisky and ethanol.

    GIFT SUGGESTIONS: Bring money, he'll do the rest.

    ENTERTAINMENT: Dirty jokes, getting stoned, orgies,
    Communion with the brotherhood, infinite number of chicks and much more! (Do bring your family and friends)

    RSVP: Very Important! He must know ahead, so He can reserve a spot for you in the golden bed. Also, he's keeping a list of his friends for future reference.

    PARTY GIVEN BY: All thee sick and twisted.

    Playboy 19:6-9

    ALL OF YOU WHO WILL BE THERE-PLEASE SHARE THIS INVITATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
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  8. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:06 PM #7
    Osama
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    No... Thank's
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  9. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:18 PM #8
    Beacon
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    Hey dhezzz why'd ya change you name to piss more ppl off i persume!!

    Have a disuccion with Jesus4u or tygur they'd love to meet you i'm sure!
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  11. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:20 PM #9
    Dillinger4
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    Will Jesus provide the green herb for us to smoke?
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  12. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:21 PM #10
    Dillinger4
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    I saw Jesus once. After i took two fat bumps of K and drank a shot of GHB.
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  13. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:23 PM #11
    Osama
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    Hey Beacon....

    Who is dhezz ??????
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  14. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:24 PM #12
    Dillinger4
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    He is Osama Bin Ladens brother.
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  15. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:27 PM #13
    Beacon
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    I dunno dil but i reckon if he did this guys ran into him too many times!
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  16. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:28 PM #14
    crptcblade
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    Originally posted by Dilenger4
    He is Osama Bin Ladens brother.
    How do you know that Osama is supposed to be Osama Bin Laden? For all we know, his name could be Osama Silverburg.

    Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you just water down your vodka.


    Take credit, not responsibility
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  17. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:29 PM #15
    Dillinger4
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  18. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:30 PM #16
    Beacon
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    Or it could be a poor attempt at a impersonation by someone!
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  19. Dec 19th, 2001, 09:43 PM #17
    Osama
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    Dear Beacon....

    Thank's for pay attention to us,

    You are always follow me....

    I can't hide from you but I can Hide from USA...



    I'm Still Ok, Sehat walafiat, How about you ????


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  20. Dec 19th, 2001, 10:34 PM #18
    Beacon
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    Following you!
    hehehe sure i am!!!

    Glad your still ok i was getting worried for a second!
    I'm fine thanks for asking!
    So whats your next move?
    Long live allah hey!

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  21. Dec 19th, 2001, 11:18 PM #19
    Alphanos
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    Just curious, why are all of the people here so anti-religious?
    Alphanos
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  22. Dec 19th, 2001, 11:30 PM #20
    Beacon
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    ALLAH WILL RULE!!
    Aint that right Osamar you little bearded afghan you!

    Who's against religion on here if you ask me there's a lot of fanatic religious ppl on here!
    And that aint good!
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  23. Dec 19th, 2001, 11:36 PM #21
    Osama
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    Hey Beacon.... don't you affraid if your goverment catch you because you know who I am.....

    WARNING : FBI need my head for U$25 M.

    and if you've catched u will said : Sir.... Osama have a brother... his name is dhezzz..... and he put's some nightmare signature for you sir...






    i'm sleepy, enough ya.... I will hide again, because B52 hearing in my ear...
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  24. Dec 19th, 2001, 11:44 PM #22
    Osama
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    Hey Beacon.... don't you affraid if your goverment catch you because you know who I am.....

    WARNING : FBI need my head for U$25 M.

    and if you've catched u will said : Sir.... Osama have a brother... his name is dhezzz..... and he put's some nightmare signature for you sir...






    i'm sleepy, enough ya.... I will hide again, because B52 hearing in my ear...
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  25. Dec 19th, 2001, 11:47 PM #23
    Beacon
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    Dont worry osama i wont get caught i'm a covert specialist!

    And i'm not afriad of Lil johnny anyway!

    I'm preparing myself for the big event!!!
    Where i'll prove my devotion to alah by drinking 1ltr of glycerin and go on a childrens bouncy castle in the middle of sydney!
    I've waited a long time for this i mean i have nothing better to do then to kill innocent ppl and i mean this is what satan i i mean allah wants us to do you know coz this is the way you know. None of this freedom bullcrap those westerners talk about hell we'll just kill ourselves what i smashing idea!

    Yes i am bieng sacrastic throughout this thread!
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  26. Dec 19th, 2001, 11:48 PM #24
    Beacon
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    Originally posted by Osama
    WARNING : FBI need my head for U$25 M.
    Wow the fbi must be sexually deprived!
    I'd take it whats giving head for 25mill hey!
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  27. Dec 20th, 2001, 12:11 AM #25
    JungleMan
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    Originally posted by Osama
    I will give the FBI head for U$25 M.
    I'm bringing geeky back...
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  28. Dec 20th, 2001, 10:59 AM #26
    Jamagei
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    Hey look jesus4U has finally shown his true side...



    POSSESSED!!
    Now, aren't you sorry you didn't just keep on scrolling?
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  29. Dec 20th, 2001, 11:01 AM #27
    jesus4u
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    Originally posted by Jamagei
    Hey look jesus4U has finally shown his true side...



    POSSESSED!!

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