Corona virus, China major city lockdowns, etc.

[Shaggy Hiker]

I am solely responsible for the state of my life. The more I know about the world around me, the better choices I can make. It's really as simple as that for me.

Really?

I've lived what could only be considered a charmed life. I have a mind and body that allows me to do pretty nearly anything I want (except be a jockey...I can't be a jockey). I had the upbringing that opened any door I wanted. And yet, when I look back on my life, I am barely responsible for the state of my life. I made good choices from the options before me, but I NEVER put those options before me. Did I make the BEST choices? Well, I can't be sure, since I've only followed this path, but there are some other options I think I should have pursued. However, those other options are always women, and you never know how that would have turned out. Still, I made pretty good choices, I just wasn't the one putting the options before me.

For example, when I got out of college, I went hiking for four months. That was all I was planning, so while I was out there, I was trying to figure out what to do next. I decided that all I really knew was being in school, so I went back to my college to talk to my advisor. He gave me a list of grad schools he thought I might like. I promptly lost the list, applied to the only ones I could remember from the list, and went to the one that offered me the most money. So, my advisor gave me the list of places to apply. My choice was based on who gave me the most money, not on the degree, which was a good thing, because I changed from toxicology to fisheries. I started with a toxicologist, but he took a job at a different university, leaving me with no major. A buddy of mine, who I had met when we were signing up for classes, suggested I join him in fisheries. My first job was because the guy who hired me had graduated from the same place a year before I started and only posted jobs to schools he had attended. His advisor knew I was looking for a job, and passed the listing on to me...and so on.

So, perhaps you could say that I was responsible because people liked me enough to help me out, but my grad school was because of the list my advisor gave me, and the funding structure of that school relative to the others, then my major was based on a suggestion from a guy I had befriended while applying for classes, and then my first job was based on a listing being passed along by somebody else where the listing only existed because my future boss happened to have attended that school.

What part of that was my doing?

[Niya]

Really?

I've lived what could only be considered a charmed life. I have a mind and body that allows me to do pretty nearly anything I want (except be a jockey...I can't be a jockey). I had the upbringing that opened any door I wanted. And yet, when I look back on my life, I am barely responsible for the state of my life. I made good choices from the options before me, but I NEVER put those options before me. Did I make the BEST choices? Well, I can't be sure, since I've only followed this path, but there are some other options I think I should have pursued. However, those other options are always women, and you never know how that would have turned out. Still, I made pretty good choices, I just wasn't the one putting the options before me.

For example, when I got out of college, I went hiking for four months. That was all I was planning, so while I was out there, I was trying to figure out what to do next. I decided that all I really knew was being in school, so I went back to my college to talk to my advisor. He gave me a list of grad schools he thought I might like. I promptly lost the list, applied to the only ones I could remember from the list, and went to the one that offered me the most money. So, my advisor gave me the list of places to apply. My choice was based on who gave me the most money, not on the degree, which was a good thing, because I changed from toxicology to fisheries. I started with a toxicologist, but he took a job at a different university, leaving me with no major. A buddy of mine, who I had met when we were signing up for classes, suggested I join him in fisheries. My first job was because the guy who hired me had graduated from the same place a year before I started and only posted jobs to schools he had attended. His advisor knew I was looking for a job, and passed the listing on to me...and so on.

So, perhaps you could say that I was responsible because people liked me enough to help me out, but my grad school was because of the list my advisor gave me, and the funding structure of that school relative to the others, then my major was based on a suggestion from a guy I had befriended while applying for classes, and then my first job was based on a listing being passed along by somebody else where the listing only existed because my future boss happened to have attended that school.

What part of that was my doing?

If I understand correctly, what you're saying is that your life happened with little input from you. You were just along for the ride. I'm sorry but I don't quite agree. Because even the simplest choice is still a choice. Something as simple as saying yes or no to something presented to you by powers beyond your control can still have a drastic effect on the course of your life. A guy steps on your lawn, you can either shoot him dead and spend the rest of your life in prison or you could choose not to shoot him and end up winning the lotto the next day. Whatever choice you make, it could be argued that everything that happens after that choice was a result of that choice. Nothing really happens in your life without your input, even if it's as simple as saying yes.

[Shaggy Hiker]

If I understand correctly, what you're saying is that your life happened with little input from you. You were just along for the ride. I'm sorry but I don't quite agree. Because even the simplest choice is still a choice. Something as simple as saying yes or no to something presented to you by powers beyond your control can still have a drastic effect on the course of your life. A guy steps on your lawn, you can either shoot him dead and spend the rest of your life in prison or you could choose not to shoot him and end up winning the lotto the next day. Whatever choice you make, it could be argued that everything that happens after that choice was a result of that choice. Nothing really happens in your life without your input, even if it's as simple as saying yes.

That's a fair way of seeing things. I don't feel that I was passive. I always had a series of choices laid before me, and I feel I made good, possibly the best, pick from those choices before me. I'm also well aware that I had choices that I didn't seriously consider, which may also have turned out quite well. At every step, I did make a choice, but the truly meaningful ones were only available because of the actions of others...and all of those actions were, in some way, due to things I had done. My choice of grad school was based on a list given to me by my advisor, but I sought him out for those suggestions, and he didn't help me get accepted to them. That first real job was due to things I had no control over, but the job listing was recommended to me because the guy who sent it along thought well of me.

So, it goes both ways to a large extent, but I'm not fully in control. I can choose to walk through the door, and the door is open partly because of my actions, but never entirely because of my actions...in most cases. Of course, in this, as in pretty nearly everything else, you have to add the caveat that there are always exceptions.

[Niya]

So, it goes both ways to a large extent, but I'm not fully in control. I can choose to walk through the door, and the door is open partly because of my actions, but never entirely because of my actions...in most cases. Of course, in this, as in pretty nearly everything else, you have to add the caveat that there are always exceptions.

Errr. You're kind of right here. Nothing you say here is false but I think it's very important to acknowledge that you yourself can take actions to give yourself choices that wouldn't have just been presented to you otherwise. Using your example of the your choice of where to get educated. Let's say someone was presented with a choice of going to some arbitrary University but they actually want to go to something like Yale. I believe it is entirely possible for this person to take a series of actions that will open up that choice for them. The only issue is are they willing to do what is necessary to obtain the outcome they want. This is essentially what I mean when I say we are solely responsible for what happens in our lives. We can have whatever we want as long as we are willing to do what it takes. I do not believe that a man cannot control his fate. He can if he has the grit to go after what he wants with unparalleled tenacity.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Errr. You're kind of right here. Nothing you say here is false but I think it's very important to acknowledge that you yourself can take actions to give yourself choices that wouldn't have just been presented to you otherwise. Using your example of the your choice of where to get educated. Let's say someone was presented with a choice of going to some arbitrary University but they actually want to go to something like Yale. I believe it is entirely possible for this person to take a series of actions that will open up that choice for them. The only issue is are they willing to do what is necessary to obtain the outcome they want. This is essentially what I mean when I say we are solely responsible for what happens in our lives. We can have whatever we want as long as we are willing to do what it takes. I do not believe that a man cannot control his fate. He can if he has the grit to go after what he wants with unparalleled tenacity.

Ok, good point. If your goal is X, and you are willing to do what it takes to achieve X, then you can get there. In the case of Yale, though, I doubt there is anything any one person can do to guarantee that outcome without connecting with a bunch of other people and leveraging those connections. Grades alone won't get you in there. Money, alone, probably won't either. Both would help, but neither is sufficient on their own. I have one uncle who went there, though (or possibly two, I can't remember), so I might have been able to try to leverage the legacy connection, which was always important for ivy league schools. So, who you are born to can help with THAT particular goal more effectively than hard work or money. Inheritance is alive and well in the US. By the way, I seem to remember reading in the last decade, or so, that legacy acceptance is in decline at ivy league schools. Of course, what happened in the last decade or so doesn't make much difference to me, since college was a long time further back.

For that goal, like so many, the connections you make are the key to the goal. You do have a considerable amount of influence on the connections you make, therefore you have considerable influence on the outcomes you achieve, but it's not through hard work. When you get right down to it, the harder I've had to work on a job (based on calories burned), the less I've been paid. I worked for two summers on a golf course (it was utterly hilarious, almost like CaddyShack levels....but that's a different story). That was mighty hard work many days, but I've never been paid less.