The best chain letter ever...

[Arbiter]

The very best chain letter ever sent

Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin.

I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not sending out 50 billion *****ing forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas with lung cancer, brought on by second-hand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web site, will get 6 *****ing cents every time you send me the letter.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How *****ing stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalog! What a bunch of bullsh*t.

So basically, this message is a big ***** YOU to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. ***** them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwarded about 90 times. I don't *****ing care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!

[DerFarm]

Who pissed in YOUR cheerios, this morning, Dude?

[Arbiter]

*sigh*

I didn't write it.

My name is not Alfonso whatever - it's just something I had on eMail.

A similar kind of thing to Katies "Greatest Urban Myth" thread.

[nishantp]

Originally posted by DerFarm
Who pissed in YOUR cheerios, this morning, Dude?

seriously cheer up man

[barrk]

Uhhhh......it was a joke..........

[DerFarm]

No, Katie, it wasn't a joke (surreptitious looks all around).

It's an attempt by the Watermelon Cartel to foster cynicism and distrust, that can only by resolved by expeditious applications of overpriced, under-flavored, off-the-shelf examples of large, unregulated, drug-laced American fruits.

Those of us who study these issues, realize that the REAL power in the US Gov't is in the various fruit cartels that hold in thrall the USDA.

Arbiter is obviously in the pay of these nefarious, dogmatic fruit barons.

WE ARE WATCHING!!!!!

[barrk]

Hehehe!