Post Race!

[dday9]

That's a bus stop quote.

[Gruff]

I always found bus rides to be long, stressful, and exhausting.
And the company? Talk about retched refuse.

(You can quote me on that.)

[Shaggy Hiker]

I found them to be fascinating.

I spent a night in the Pittsburg bus station back when I was in college. What a strange assortment of characters there was, too. One semi-deranged homeless guy, a family of what I took to be Amish, though they might have also been some Jewish orthodox sect, a guy in a leisure suit with a bible and nothing else, and a somewhat frightened looking family, along with a few others who didn't stand out all that much.

The leisure suit guy tried hard to sleep, but wherever he lay down, the security guard soon rousted him. It was ok to sleep sitting up, and it was ok to stay awake all night, it just wasn't ok to lie down. At one point, I went into the bathroom, which was old enough to have a shoe-shine station, and found him lying on the very narrow bench of the shoe-shine station. That meant that he was trying to sleep on a bench that was about six feet off the floor and was only about half a foot wide.

At a later point, the leisure suit guy got talking to the Amish guy about biblical things. I was kind of trying to avoid the leisure suit guy as I assumed the bible thing was that he was an evangelical of some kind who would talk my ear off. The homeless guy and I listened to a bit of the discussion between leisure suit guy and Amish guy, which prompted the homeless guy to ask me what city we were in. I told him, and he made a profound declaration along the lines of, "red is blue, blue is red, colors are beautiful. I like this town. I think I'll stay here."

A bit later on, leisure suit guy began talking to homeless guy, who invited him to go to a soup kitchen that was, "just around the corner." Leisure suit guy thought that was a good humanitarian mission, so he agreed, and off they went. About three hours later, leisure suit guy returned alone, sat down next to me, kicked off his penny loafers, and moaned, "there was no soup kitchen. We've spent the last three hours wandering the sidewalks. My feet are killing me." He then went on to tell me his tale of woe. He wasn't an evangelical, just a lost soul wandering around trying to find some direction. I ended up buying him breakfast, cause it was clear that he needed it.

It was a mighty interesting night.

[Gruff]

I was speaking of city buses and having to ride them daily after a grueling day at work.
Transfer, Transfer, Transfer... Three hour commute one way.

Your experience sounded interesting though.

I was once mugged in a train station in Buffalo NY.
Woke up with a goose egg on my noggin and missing a wallet.
Ah Youth!

[Gruff]

If you ever wondered where Wonder Oregon is...
Here.

[Gruff]

If you promise not to tell I'll show you Promise Oregon...
Right here.

[Gruff]

Echo Oregon boasts some paved roads!
Echo echo echo.

[homer13j]

I was speaking of city buses and having to ride them daily after a grueling day at work.
Transfer, Transfer, Transfer... Three hour commute one way.

Been there, done that. I swore back in 1993 I would never commute by bus ever again. I take the train to baseball games and that's it.

My notable intercity bus experience: Thanksgiving weekend, 1984 I took the bus from my home in Daytona Beach to Tampa to visit my grandmother. This required a change of buses in Orlando. On my way back on Sunday during my Orlando layover I stopped in a bar for a few beers (I had a fake ID as it was still a few months before my 19th birthday) and some guy sitting next to me sold me $5 worth of weed. I headed back to the bus station with a pretty good buzz going and soon they announced my bus's departure.

I should mention there were two buses heading for Daytona: an express going directly there via I-4 and a local making stops in every little dumpwater town between the two cities. Needless to say I wanted on that express.

As the driver was taking tickets he stopped and declared "only one seat left. Who's traveling alone?"

I yelled "Me," handed him my ticket and climbed aboard.

The only seat that was left was next to the window in the very last row with three seats next to the bathroom. Two of those three seats were occupied by the most enormous woman I have ever seen before or since. I would guess 700-800 lbs. easy. I had to squeeze between her and the window for the 2-1/2 hour ride. She spent the entire trip panting like a dog in a hot car and sweating profusely as if merely existing was very hard work for her. Not a fun ride.

Fortunately the alcohol and weed put me to sleep so it wasn't so bad. I was home before I knew it.

And that's my one and only intercity bus ride story.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Did you dream about being on a boat rocking on a big, sweaty, ocean?

[dday9]

Believe it or not, I've never taken the bus before(other than for school). The only time I've ever traveled alone was to visit a girlfriend who had moved to Plattsburgh, NY and I flew there.

[szlamany]

I lived in NYC until I was 10 - the bus was how you got everywhere. If you wanted to take the subway you took the bus to the subway.

When I travel into Manhattan now I would take a bus over the subway to get around the city. Although I take cabs actually...

[Shaggy Hiker]

The busses in the Breckinridge area of Colorado are awesome. I spent a couple days there while hiking the Colorado Trail (I arrived on a Saturday afternoon and had to wait for the Post Office to open on Monday to get my supplies). At one point, I was waiting for a bus and got talking to one of the drivers. He told me that the bus I was waiting for was his bus, but he had a different route to run before the route I was waiting for. Since there was nobody on the bus, he invited me to take a guided tour of the area, which I did. He told me about the history of various places and the like. It's a very scenic area, too. It's also crazy rich, so the busses are free.

[dday9]

I love listening to guide tell history of cities.

[dday9]

My wife and I went to Saint Augustine, FL for our honeymoon and absolutely loved the city. Each bus driver had their own perspective of the city which is cool. The history is the same, but their spin on it makes it exciting.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Saint Augustine really has a history, too. Much of it is sordid, but it's a real history.

[dday9]

Had to look up sordid, but yeah that's a very accurate word to describe it's history. One country/group was slaughtering a different country/group at one point or another up until about the mid 1800's.

[FunkyDexter]

Here's what I pictured as I read Homer's story:-

As the driver was taking tickets he stopped and declared "only one seat left. Who's traveling alone?"

I yelled "Me," handed him my ticket and climbed aboard, trampling small children and a handicapped lady.

My wierdest Bus ride was in Vancouver when I met "Miss Double D" (no relation of DDay, I'm sure).

Three freinds and I were over there for a snowboarding holiday and had jumped on the bus to go out to a restaurant in the evening. Quite possibly the most physically repugnant woman I have ever seen got onto the bus, took one look at me and clearly fell head over heels in love (so at least she had taste). She made a beeline straight down the main aisle, shouldering aside little old ladies and junikes alike, shoved my mate Danny off the seat next to me, threw her arms around me and invited me to "check out her Double Ds" while pointing at a chest which could best be described as concave.

She then proceeded to regail me, through teeth the colour of Shrek's swamp and a cloud of breath with a corresponding odour, about how she had, this very evening, discovered the secret of a cheap night at the bar. The secret, apparently, is to buy just one pint. Once you've drunk that pint you quietly visit the bathroom for a refill. Now you might be thinking that she was refilling the glass from the bathroom tap... oh no... it wasn't that. Suffice it to say that the refill was of a convincing colour with a satisfyingly foamy head on it and this woman, in a very real sense, had discovered the secret of perpetual motion. Apparently three refills in she stopped bothering with the whole bathroom bit which is when the staff had asked her to leave.

Then she tried to snog me.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Ok, so I'm not your clone.

[Shaggy Hiker]

So....for all the mods out there: Do you have a fedora, and do you tip it?

If anybody doesn't get that reference then you haven't been keeping up with the entertaining Jerry Sandusky story.

[dday9]

I know what I'm certainly not, as for the fedora... nope.

[homer13j]

Then she tried to snog me.

Snog?

Sorry, not up to date on my British slang.

[dday9]

I even know that one, it means kiss.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Ah, she just wanted to take the piss out o' ye!

[Gruff]

*Gag*

[FunkyDexter]

I always did attract the classy birds.

Snog?

Kiss is right but doesn't really convey it. We're not talking a peck on the cheek here. Tongues would most defeinitely have been involved. Thankfully I'm a lithe fellow and was able to slip her evil clutches before she was able to dock.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Well, her recycling method would have made a bit of a mouthwash. Perhaps not the most pleasant, but you might have survived.

[Gruff]

*Double Gag*

[dday9]

[Gruff]

I was once gang snogged by a bevy of opulent of British Airways stewardesses.
(Then I woke up.)

[dday9]

I hope you had a hot towel near.

[Gruff]

A hot compress for my forehead? Not so lucky.

I had watched "Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery" the night before. That might have had something to do with it.

Though they were imaginary they were British so I think Snog was the appropriate term.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Snogged might be, but I'm kind of questioning the use of 'opulent'.

[dday9]

Yeah baby.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Are you saying they were truly twice-blessed?

[Gruff]

Let me rewind and go back. Hmmm. I suppose opulent as in "richly supplied" or Grade 'A'. Jiggles and giggles galore.

[dday9]

I will have to ban you for being to seductive in that last post.

[dday9]

The ban time is 1 second.

[dday9]

Time's up.

[dday9]

By the way, I posted a job opening in the Jobs section.

[dday9]

If you're decent at photoshop then you should geaux look.