Clean Joke of the day

[Gruff]

Myself as well. I had to read it twice.

[TysonLPrice]

An elderly couple was speaking to their doctor about how they were both having trouble remembering things. The doctor mentioned that a simple solution would be to write down things they needed to remember. That night they were watching TV and the husband asked the wife if he could have a bowl of ice cream. She said “sure, would you like whipped cream on it” and he said “yes please”. She asked if he would also like some chocolate too and he said “yes but do you think you should write it down”? She said “no I'm fine, would you like a cherry on top”? He said “yes but I really think you should write it down”. Once again she said “no” and went to he kitchen. A few minutes later she came back with bacon and eggs. He said “see, I told you to write it down, you forgot the toast”.

[Gruff]

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One if he can remotely launch his app to start the light bulb screwing machine.

---

What answers would you come up with for this joke?

[TysonLPrice]

Did you hear the one about the Indian that had to sleep in the hotel lobby because he didn't have a reservation? Or the farmer who couldn't keep his hands off his daughter?

[passel]

How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
...
What answers would you come up with for this joke?

None, its a hardware problem.

[TysonLPrice]

I have a funny joke that I made up and did not get from anywhere else

Alright then...

If you really want to understand recursion, then reread this post until you do.

When that happens, you'll know that I do...

OK? I did make that one up. But since I don't know how bright you really are I'll add this in just for you...it is from SQL Server 2005

If you really want to understand recursion, then reread this post until you do.

When that happens, you'll know that I do...

OPTION (MAXRECURSION 200)

[Gruff]

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I got some tartar-control toothpaste.
I still have tartar on my teeth, but it's really under control.

[TysonLPrice]

Boudreaux and his wife Clotile always went to LSU home games, for 30 years they didn't miss a game. Then for one homecoming Thibodeaux noticed that Boudreaux wasn't with his wife for this particular game. So Thibodeaux asked him "Mais, I'm surprised that your wife aint here, is she alright?" Boudreaux responded that his wife had died and that he was going to miss her dearly. Thibodeaux was still confused, so he asked Boudreaux "Why didn't you bring none of your children?" and Boudreaux responded "Mais they're all at her funeral."

Very much like post #43...couldn't come up with your own eh? Or maybe you just didn't understand it

[TysonLPrice]

Lol, that one reminded me of the one I posted because they're so similar.

We must be in sync...Thing is I don't know where or why you are coming from...

[Gruff]

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

[TysonLPrice]

What's green and red and goes 100 MPH?

A frog in a blender...

[TysonLPrice]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs:

Hanging on a wall - Art
Laying in front of a door - Matt
Underneath a car - Jack
Floating in a pool - Bob

What do you do with dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.