GD,

Don't worry about it. You have plenty of time to have women screw up your life..... oops, did I say that out loud?


Now the women in the forum are probably going to disagree with these tips, but in my experience they have always stood me in good stead.

Seriously though, it's no big deal. 17 is young. Most guys don't start really seriously dating until 19-20 ish. When they're at University, they have "some" cash, a car, don't live at home etc. Then you'll be beating them off with a sh*tty stick (i.e. there will be loads of girlfriends).

Believe me you have plenty of time! This is normal.

As for being shy, I am a very shy individual (believe it or not), but I know that I can control it and that it is easier to act the extrovert than suffer in silence. Therefore I appear as an extrovert. I get really nervous before meetings, interviews etc., but once I get in there I'm fine.

This is the same with dating. It's normal to get really nervous, if you go on a date and stay nervous, then the date will be a flop. You have to control your fear, pretend that you are out with some mates. Don't expect the date to lead anywhere, if it does, then thats a bonus, but just enjoy the afternoon/evening for what it is. Be confident that you'll have fun. For instance if the date is becoming painfully quiet, don't be afraid to slap your hands together and say "this is boring, lets go do something else. What do you fancy :- Pub, Pictures, Dancing, Meal etc."

Chances are she will be glad for a change of scene. If you make her suffer through the date as well, then you are doomed to failure.

The trick with dating is to talk about yourself as little as possible. Ask her questions about herself and her family. What sort of pets she has, whats her favourite joke. Intersperse this with little things about yourself, but always make this a link to another subject.

e.g. "Look, there's a labrador. We always had labradors when we were growing up, they're very affectionate. Do you have any dogs, or are you a cat person?" (It's very appropriate to spit on the ground when you say cat person. If she is, then walk out and leave her to pay the bar bill ). Seriously though, what womans heart doesn't melt a little bit at the thought of a labrador puppy...... but don't go too mushy on her. Their is a fine line between being a big softy (although not in ALL departments) and being a total wet wimp.

Always laugh at yourself. Don't be afraid to tell a really embarresing story about yourself. (As long as it's not the time you were caught spying on the girls shower room - nothing too pervy). Go with something that happened when you were 5 or 6. If she makes a joke about you, chuckle and give some abuse back. Never tell a story that makes you look good ("I won the noble peace prize in 2000"), this always comes out lame. She'll find your good points out in time.

Smile alot.

Slag her off gently. Women might want a bit of praise, but don't overdo it. Go with the "Well, you Northsiders are a strange lot" type of slag. DON'T go for the "You're fat, ugly and you smell" sort of slag you would use on your mates.

Finally, never underestimate the power of alchohol. It is the greatest leg spreader known to man!


I hope some of this helps,

SD