about live: need advices :(

[joaquim]

i don't know if i can do these here(in forum)
but i need some advices
i'm feeling alone.... ok i have great friends(girls and mens)... but i need something that can complete me
ok... maybe i'm think to much, but i belive that i need a girlfriend. but they are dificulty to understand.
they can say "i love you", but they can go a way... i can see my friends with some girls and i nothing
can anyone tell me something?... please?

[Shaggy Hiker]

How old are you? Age makes a difference.

[joaquim]

How old are you? Age makes a difference.

26 years. how many grilsfriends? maybe only 1... because they funny with me

[oceanebelle]

Unrelated but, I see shaggy's post at 'Today 12:02 AM' while joaquim's next post at 'Today 10:21 AM'... something messed up there I think.

[joaquim]

Unrelated but, I see shaggy's post at 'Today 12:02 AM' while joaquim's next post at 'Today 10:21 AM'... something messed up there I think.

now it's 12:14PM(portugal time)... i'm portuguese
Unrelated, maybe... but it's from the past... look these example:
i don't know dance, but i wanted fun... then i ask to someone to dance, she said no. but, in same music, she dance with other person
is why i don't wan't go to party's. but i like go to the disc. it's diferent... sometimes i'm feeling alone, but it's more fun

[NeedSomeAnswers]

Joaquim,

do you have any friends that are female ?

[joaquim]

Joaquim,

do you have any friends that are female ?

yes and some are my best friends... i like 1, but i can't do nothing... she has a boyfriend
when i like, theres some problems:
-she don't care;
-she has a boyfriend. then i still out.
i'm not look man

[NeedSomeAnswers]

The reason i ask is one of the best way to help yourself is to speak to a female friend (one that you don't fancy).

Go and speak to a girl you trust (this is essential make sure of this), and ask their help, there are 3 reasons why this is a good idea.

1, If you can find the right girl they will be sympathetic and will actually try and help you without embarrassing you.

2, Your female friends are likely to know why certain girls have turned you down, now be prepared for some harsh truths but it could help you in understanding what you are doing wrong, and remember it doesn't matter what most girls think you only have to find the right one.

3, Girls Gossip, this is a fact of life if any girl out there fancies you the other girls will be the ones to know !

No one here will be able to help you properly as we don't really know you, you need an objective opinion from someone you know if you want help.

[joaquim]

"No one here will be able to help you properly as we don't really know you, you need an objective opinion from someone you know if you want help."
ok i belive that you have right. but i think that i can put here some questions
like you said.... i need someone to speak about my self and what i can do.
i'm like Neo(Matrix movie). i like programming an ear music
but i can't control my live, like him can't.
i can't see every Neo personaly, i can do some mistakes like everyone.
ok... these private and i'm puting "public", but is good having some opinious\sugestions

[oceanebelle]

I'm a girl, but not sure if I can help you out.

If you're looking for a girl out there in the wilds, you'd probably need to socialize more to get to know more girls other than your current circle. Maybe from these meet-ups you'd find a girl you like.

All I can say is, girls are weird and I can't say the same for all girls out there. Sometimes friends help out becoming a bridge and if you're lucky you'd get yourself a girl. You don't have to be the center of attention of course but you can strike up random (normal, don't go into geeky stuff right away) conversations and see what she likes. Let HER talk about what she like because sometimes girls can just talk and talk and they like that...
Maybe just maybe, that'll trick her into thinking you're a nice guy (which is hopefully the case :P)

[joaquim]

I'm a girl, but not sure if I can help you out.

If you're looking for a girl out there in the wilds, you'd probably need to socialize more to get to know more girls other than your current circle. Maybe from these meet-ups you'd find a girl you like.

All I can say is, girls are weird and I can't say the same for all girls out there. Sometimes friends help out becoming a bridge and if you're lucky you'd get yourself a girl. You don't have to be the center of attention of course but you can strike up random (normal, don't go into geeky stuff right away) conversations and see what she likes. Let HER talk about what she like because sometimes girls can just talk and talk and they like that...
Maybe just maybe, that'll trick her into thinking you're a nice guy (which is hopefully the case :P)

thanks for advice
i will "save it"... thanks.
but anotherthing: HER don't "paste" man, right?

[oceanebelle]

thanks for advice
i will "save it"... thanks.
but anotherthing: HER don't "paste" man, right?

sorry my mind is not on top of my head right now and I don't understand what you mean.

[honeybee]

If you become complete, you will probably die, because nobody is complete. And there's no fun in being complete. Because you lack something, you strive to achieve that. And this struggle is what makes life worthwhile. If you were a complete man, got whatever you wanted very easily, you would soon lose all interest in life.


On a lighter side, you could learn English to make you less incomplete

.

[oceanebelle]

@Honeybee your advice is apt indeed looking at your signature.
Which could give people the presumption that you're an "incomplete idiot". It has a nice ring to it.


P.S. Somehow the funny ring to it happened 5s after me realizing it but not beyond that.

[joaquim]

sorry my mind is not on top of my head right now and I don't understand what you mean.

i'm sorry the bad expression.(i don't know how to say it, but i will try it)
what i mean is if we(man) can't always(isn't the right word, but i think that you understand) stay with her?
(in these case i'm trying to say that i'm bored, sometimes. but 1 day, 1 woman(portuguese person) said: "you aren't a bored person. you like people!!!". and these sentence is true
thanks to everyone.
PS.: i know that we can't be complete completed, but i just need something more "soft". my signature speak about my live, but i need a road not a roude

[MartinLiss]

Have you tried meeting women on-line?

If you want to make an impression on a woman one thing you can do is to try to figure out waht they like and then buy them a small gift. When you give it to them just say "I thought you'd like this". Make sure that they understand that there are no strings attached. (Do you know what that means?) In any case the best advice I can give you is to treat all women that you meet with respect.

[joaquim]

Have you tried meeting women on-line?

If you want to make an impression on a woman one thing you can do is to try to figure out waht they like and then buy them a small gift. When you give it to them just say "I thought you'd like this". Make sure that they understand that there are no strings attached. (Do you know what that means?) In any case the best advice I can give you is to treat all women that you meet with respect.

thanks for advice.
i, try, always, threat them with respect. but... they just go away(after sometime):'(

[EntityX]

I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are still missing.

[mendhak]

OK, let me give you real loser advice. We are programmers. We are unappealing to women, it's part of the deal. We make for "good friends", we're the nice guys that finish last, and we're also the hopeless romantics that went out of fashion 80 years ago. Hell, we're the type of guy that a jealous boyfriend wouldn't mind sending his girl over to on Valentine's day. ("Sorry honey, I can't spend V-Day with you because I'm out of town, why don't you go over to mendhak's place? He's perfectly harmless.") Despite what you may be told (looks/size/money doesn't matter; women just want nice guys), most of it isn't true, it's just something people say so that your feelings aren't hurt. Now I know that the entire population of 3 women on this forum will rise up to defend woman-kind from my libelous statements, but I'm going to stick with it and also preempt the anger by saying that it doesn't apply to the women here - you're losers just like us .

So yeah, what you're describing is pretty much a life story for many of us, it's not a cosmic conspiracy against you specifically. My advice - stop trying to find someone, just give up on going after your girl friends because it's quite obvious that they don't like you. You're likely appearing to be a clinger-on and that probably drives them away even more. Stop trying so hard and instead enjoy what you do (coding? astronomy? stamp collecting?). You'll automatically find your niche in the social world and eventually, someone will find you.

[joaquim]

OK, let me give you real loser advice. We are programmers. We are unappealing to women, it's part of the deal. We make for "good friends", we're the nice guys that finish last, and we're also the hopeless romantics that went out of fashion 80 years ago. Hell, we're the type of guy that a jealous boyfriend wouldn't mind sending his girl over to on Valentine's day. ("Sorry honey, I can't spend V-Day with you because I'm out of town, why don't you go over to mendhak's place? He's perfectly harmless.") Despite what you may be told (looks/size/money doesn't matter; women just want nice guys), most of it isn't true, it's just something people say so that your feelings aren't hurt. Now I know that the entire population of 3 women on this forum will rise up to defend woman-kind from my libelous statements, but I'm going to stick with it and also preempt the anger by saying that it doesn't apply to the women here - you're losers just like us .

So yeah, what you're describing is pretty much a life story for many of us, it's not a cosmic conspiracy against you specifically. My advice - stop trying to find someone, just give up on going after your girl friends because it's quite obvious that they don't like you. You're likely appearing to be a clinger-on and that probably drives them away even more. Stop trying so hard and instead enjoy what you do (coding? astronomy? stamp collecting?). You'll automatically find your niche in the social world and eventually, someone will find you.

i must say it.... THANKS
i try do what i like: PROGRAMMING, STAY ON COMPUTER, EAR MUSIC(MP3 PEN TOO)... these things can help me(and your(in plural) advices) can help me too
THANKS TO EVERYONE