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Thread: The English have rednecks too

  1. #1

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    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    The English have rednecks too

    Some fwd:

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
    Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
    Contestant: Homosexuals.
    Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

    BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
    Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
    Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
    Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
    Contestant: Leicester .

    BBC NORFOLK
    Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
    Contestant : Arm.
    White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
    Contestant: Strong.
    White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
    Contestant: Louis.
    White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
    Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

    LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
    Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
    Contestant: France .
    Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
    Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
    Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
    Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
    Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
    Contestant: Paris

    THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
    Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or
    the Conservative Party?
    Contestant: The Conservative Party.

    BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
    DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
    Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
    Contestant: Goosey?

    GWR FM ( Bristol )
    Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
    Contestant : I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

    RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
    Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show
    about pensioners: Last Of The...?
    Caller: Mohicans.

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
    Phil: What's 11 squared?
    Contestant: I don't know.
    Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
    Contestant: Is it five?

    RICHARD AND JUDY
    Q: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
    A: Forrest Gump.

    RICHARD AND JUDY
    Leslie: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
    Contestant: Er. .
    Leslie: He makes bread . . .
    Contestant: Er ...
    Leslie: He makes cakes . . .
    Contestant: Kipling Street ?

    LINCS FM P HONE-IN
    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona
    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain

    NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
    Question: What is the world's largest continent?
    Contestant: The Pacific

    ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
    Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
    Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

    THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
    Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
    Contestant: Magna Carta?

    JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
    O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
    Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ...er er ... Three?

    CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
    Caller: Japan .
    Searle : I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    Caller: Er .... Mexico ?

    PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

    DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
    Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland ?
    Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
    Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
    Contestant: No.

    PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
    Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
    Contestant: Er. . .
    Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
    Contestant: Blimey?
    Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
    Contestant: (Silence)
    Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
    Contestant: Walked?

    THE VAULT
    Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
    Contestant: Nostalgia.

    LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
    Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
    Contestant: Jewish.
    Presenter: That's close enough.

    STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
    Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
    Contestant: Jesus

  2. #2
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! Hack's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too



    You have to love 'em (but, from a distance of course. )

  3. #3
    Hyperactive Member vbcode1980's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too


    :roflcoptor:
    I code C#....

  4. #4
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
    Contestant: Louis.
    People old enough to know this are clearly senile and can be forgiven many things.
    I don't live here any more.

  5. #5
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    I'm reminded of a famous George Carlin quote:
    "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."


    Quote Originally Posted by mendhak
    LINCS FM P HONE-IN
    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona
    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain
    This is golden right here.

    The only thing that would have made it funnier would be if the contestant had named a US state like Texas or California.
    If my post helped you, please rate it!

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  6. #6
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    DJ: "For these amazing ACDC tickets, just answer this simple ACDC-related question... How do you spell ACDC?"

    Caller: "uhh, wait... oh god where's google when you need it... wait... WAIITT!!!"

    DJ: "*Bzzzzzt* time's up, next caller please..."
    Lawlz.
    I don't live here any more.

  7. #7
    Frenzied Member MaximilianMayrhofer's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too


  8. #8
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! Hack's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    Quote Originally Posted by contestant
    BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
    Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
    Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
    Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
    Contestant: Leicester .
    I wonder if contestant would know who is buried in Grant's tomb

  9. #9
    Fanatic Member demotivater's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    Lincoln?
    Here's to us!
    Who's like us?
    Darned few, and they're all dead!

  10. #10
    The Devil crptcblade's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    No one. Grant was given a Viking funeral.
    Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you just water down your vodka.


    Take credit, not responsibility

  11. #11
    Hyperactive Member
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    The English don't have anything so common as "rednecks" they have "chavs". We have "bogans" Down Under

  12. #12
    Lively Member homer13j's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    Does the UK have any trailer parks? This is the only scientifically proven way to measure accurate amounts of redneckism...




  13. #13
    Hyperactive Member
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    Nice to see they have disabled access.
    Signature Under Construction

  14. #14
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    "Winders'r fer them thar rich folk, ahyuk."
    I don't live here any more.

  15. #15
    Frenzied Member MaximilianMayrhofer's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    Quote Originally Posted by wossname
    "Winders'r fer them thar rich folk, ahyuk."
    I believe you have misused that expression. As a matter of fact, the correct ending of that sentence would have been "yes'sir"

  16. #16
    Lively Member homer13j's Avatar
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    Re: The English have rednecks too

    Quote Originally Posted by MaximilianMayrhofer
    I believe you have misused that expression. As a matter of fact, the correct ending of that sentence would have been "yes'sir"
    We would have also accepted "yessiree," "I tell you what," or "mmkay?" as well.

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