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Jan 12th, 2009, 05:09 PM
#1
Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
- Prologue: Troubled Lad goes to fight in some war he has no opinion on.
- He ends up with a few minor "character building" scratches that endear him to the female persuasion.
- Gets a bit of pokey-pokey while nobody's looking.
- Troubled Lad gets conscripted.
- Frenchies wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the English.
- English wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the Frenchies.
- Frenchies wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the English.
- English wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the Frenchies.
- English suddenly win.
- Troubled lad gets constipated.
- More pokey-pokey for near-mortally-wounded Troubled Lad.
- Epilogue
- Historical Notes (explaining all the bits the the Author made up off the top of his head).
So that saves you buying one of his books, or rather TWO of his books, as they are all identical, even the names of the people.
Rubbish.
I don't live here any more.
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Jan 13th, 2009, 05:01 AM
#2
Hyperactive Member
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
Who is Bernard Cornwell?
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Jan 13th, 2009, 06:58 AM
#3
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
I'm going to throw out a wild guess here and say.. Astronaut.
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Jan 13th, 2009, 08:01 AM
#4
Hyperactive Member
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
Ahhh... that explains it.
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Jan 16th, 2009, 10:57 AM
#5
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
 Originally Posted by wossname
- Prologue: Troubled Lad goes to fight in some war he has no opinion on.
- He ends up with a few minor "character building" scratches that endear him to the female persuasion.
- Gets a bit of pokey-pokey while nobody's looking.
- Troubled Lad gets conscripted.
- Frenchies wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the English.
- English wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the Frenchies.
- Frenchies wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the English.
- English wearing surcoats and tabards and weilding poleaxes crush the skulls of the Frenchies.
- English suddenly win.
- Troubled lad gets constipated.
- More pokey-pokey for near-mortally-wounded Troubled Lad.
- Epilogue
- Historical Notes (explaining all the bits the the Author made up off the top of his head).
So that saves you buying one of his books, or rather TWO of his books, as they are all identical, even the names of the people.
Rubbish.
I always wanted to read one of his books. Thanks for saving me the trouble.
Everything that has a computer in will fail. Everything in your life, from a watch to a car to, you know, a radio, to an iPhone, it will fail if it has a computer in it. They should kill the people who made those things.- 'Woz'
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Jan 16th, 2009, 11:29 AM
#6
Fanatic Member
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
I'm getting one just for the pokey-pokey part.
Here's to us!
Who's like us?
Darned few, and they're all dead!
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Jan 16th, 2009, 07:13 PM
#7
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
It's not what you're thinking. It's how they referred to billiards in ancient times.
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Jan 17th, 2009, 03:34 AM
#8
Fanatic Member
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
Here's to us!
Who's like us?
Darned few, and they're all dead!
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Jan 18th, 2009, 05:29 AM
#9
Re: Bernard Cornwell For Dummies
 Originally Posted by mendhak
It's not what you're thinking. It's how they referred to billiards in ancient times.
 Originally Posted by Mr Snooker
I've invented this game. I'm going to name it... 'Pond'
(see "Maid Marrion and her Merry Men", circa early 1990's)
I don't live here any more.
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