A chance to insult every member...hehehehehehe

[Jethro]

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

Three.

1 to change the light bulb

2 to discuss whether it matches the curtains

How many Poms does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven.

1 to change the light bulb

10 to whinge about how it isn't as good as the old one.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

Three.

1 to change the bulb

1 to congratulate him on doing a great job

1 to get the beers from the fridge to celebrate job completion

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb

Twenty one.

20 to conduct a feasibility study into the likely consequences.

1 to change the bulb.

How many Pakistanis does it take to change a light bulb.

Whats a light bulb?

How many New Zealanders would it take to change a light bulb?

None, they are only pleased that they don't have to turn this one off.

[chenko]

For Each User in Users
If User <> "chenko" Then Msgbox "haha you smell " & User
Next

[cyberwarpy]

ROFL!

Originally posted by Jethro
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

Three.

1 to change the light bulb

2 to discuss whether it matches the curtains

How many Poms does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven.

1 to change the light bulb

10 to whinge about how it isn't as good as the old one.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

Three.

1 to change the bulb

1 to congratulate him on doing a great job

1 to get the beers from the fridge to celebrate job completion

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb

Twenty one.

20 to conduct a feasibility study into the likely consequences.

1 to change the bulb.

How many Pakistanis does it take to change a light bulb.

Whats a light bulb?

How many New Zealanders would it take to change a light bulb?

None, they are only pleased that they don't have to turn this one off.

[cyberwarpy]

Six Engineers and a train

Three Apple engineers and three Micro$oft employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three Micro$oft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?' asks a Micro$oft employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.

They all board the train. The Micro$oft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Micro$oft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the Micro$oft employees decide to copy the Apple engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the Apple engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket says one perplexed Micro$oft employee.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple engineer.

When they board the train the three Micro$oft employees cram into a restroom and the three Apple engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Apple engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Micro$oft employees are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."

[cyberwarpy]

Micro$oft Light Bulb Jokes

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

Q: How many Micro$oft executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

Q: How many operating systems are required to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one-Micro$oft is making a special version of Windoze for it.

Q: How many Windoze programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 472. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle...

Q: How many Windoze users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but she/he'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy for him as it would be for a Macintosh user.

Q: How many M$ tech supports does it take to change a light bulb?
A: "The light bulb doesn't work? You must be using a non-standard socket.

Q: How many Micro$oft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling it?" and the last one to say "It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine..."

[Jamagei]

Q. How many Irish people does it take to put a screw in the wall?
A. 31 - one to hold the screw driver and 30 to turn the wall.

Q. What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A. you can unscrew a lightbulb.

Q. How many women with PMS/PMT does it take to unscrew a light bulb?
A. 4
Q. Why?
A. IT JUST FU*KING DOES OKAY!!!

[Kzin]

Originally posted by cyberwarpy
Six Engineers and a train

Good one

( great Avatar as well hope Goodreams isn't offended by it )

[Cander]

Q: How many Mac users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They have to buy a whole new house with light bulbs built in.

Q: How many Linux users does it take screw in a light bulb?
A: After arguing for 2 weeks with the household over the better brand of bulb..1 to put in the bulb, and 1 to blame Microsoft when it doesnt work.

[Cander]

Spetnik is a retard for bumping up a really old post!!



better?

[msimmons]

I'm a retard for reading this old thread

[JungleMan]

Q: How many TurtleTips members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, there's only one TurtleTips member to begin with

[JungleMan]

Originally posted by Cander
Q: How many Mac users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They have to buy a whole new house with light bulbs built in.

Q: How many Linux users does it take screw in a light bulb?
A: After arguing for 2 weeks with the household over the better brand of bulb..1 to put in the bulb, and 1 to blame Microsoft when it doesnt work.

LMAO

[abhijit]

How did you people end up putting pictures in your messages?
Some of those pics are really glaring. Some are really cute.

-Abhijit