Blonde Jokes

[chrismitchell]

How do you find a Blonde in the tall grass?


Pleasing!

[chrismitchell]

What do you call a Blonde who dyes her hair brown?


Artificial Intelligence!

[chrismitchell]

A blonde wants to go Ice fishing so she packs up her gear and goes off.. She gets out to the middle of the ice and then begins to cut a hole in the ice to fish..

A booming voice yells out "THERE ARE NO FISH THERE"

The Blonde looks up and then moves slighlty to the Left and begins to cut a hole in the ice again.

Again the booming voice yells out "THERE ARE NO FISH THERE".

So again the Blonde moves. She then starts again in her new place a little way away from her other ones.. again she starts to cut into the ice..

The Booming voice yells out "I TOLD YOU THERE ARE NO FISH THERE!"

the blonde looks up and says "God is that you?"

The voice booms "No I'm the ICE RINK Attendant now get off the Ice!"

[chrismitchell]

What do you call a Blonde prostitute with a Nose Bleed?


Full!

[barrk]

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff
and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in
the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's
head under his arm.

The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week
the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and
killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head
of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."

The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to
go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while
when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the
Indian right on the head.

The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a
ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave
pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.

Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied,
"Not now, I'm busy."

Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you
should look at this."

Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand
dollars in my hand."

But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."

So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine
were five thousand red Indians.

Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . .
we're going to be millionaires!"

[barrk]

A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers.

Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the hell is going on here?"

"My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!" asks the cop..








And she said....












(This is good...)







(Ready?)







(Remember, she's a blonde...)





















"Those are my emergency flashers!"

[chrisjk]

That is truly terrible and you should be ashamed.

[barrk]

Yeah...I probably should be







but I'm not

[chrismitchell]

There is no reason to be ashamed... Blonde jokes are funny!

[alex_read]

ashamed as that was such a bad joke

A blonde bought two horses and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut off the tail of one horse, which worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. The second horse's tail tore in the same place and looked exactly like the other horse's
tail.

Our blonde friend was stuck again.
The neighbor then suggested that she notch the ear of one horse, which worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence.

Once again, our blonde friend couldn't tell the two horses apart.
The neighbor then suggested that she measure the horses for height. When she did that, the blonde was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.

[barrk]

More Than One Blonde Joke

Q: What goes "Vroom-screech, vroom-screech?
A: A blonde driving through a flashing red light.

Q: What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A: A golden retriever.

Q: What did the blonde say when she went to check if her turn
signal was working?"
A: "Yes it is. No it isn't. Yes it is. No it isn't."

Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: Why did the M&M manufacturer fire their blonde employees?
A: Because they kept throwing away the W's.

Q: What do you call four blondes at a four way stop? A: Eternity.

Q: How do you get a blonde to stay in the shower?
A: Give her a bottle of shampoo that says "Wash, rinse, and
repeat."

A blonde got very depressed when she looked at her
driver's license and saw she had an "F" in sex.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's writing on the white-out.


Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: Why do blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes from the waist down?
A: Marriage.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.

Q: What is the definition of a man's perfect woman?
A: A deaf and dumb blonde nymphomaniac whose father owns a pub.

Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.

Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
Q: What did the Blonde get on her S.A.T.?
A: Nail polish!

Q: What do you call half a dozen blondes standing shoulder to
shoulder?
A: A wind tunnel

[chrismitchell]

What do blondes see when they look at Cheerios?











(wait for it!)








Donut Seeds!

[Beacon]

What was the blonde doing in the trees?





Raking Leaves.


Q: Why do blondes put bread crumbs on the toilet seat?


A: Too feed the toilet Duck.