HISTORY: The dog ate my homework

MEDICINE: Bah, who needs Scotch? I removed my kidneys too...Do I get extra marks?

PUBLIC SPEAKING: Ja'Quabail Fazaharazad!

BIOLOGY: Done it! If it had been created 500 Million years ago, I'd be a fish!

MUSIC: You'll find it on Napster, in the section of blocked music for copyright reasons...

PSYCHOLOGY: They were all abused as children by having boiling carrots shoved up their nostrils.

SOCIOLOGY: I foresee no problems whatsoever, Everyone'll be in the pub celebrating!

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE: Management are payed to do nothing constructively. My algorithm powers Microsoft.

ENGINEERING: I exited the classroom before the tiger entered. Reason: I'm allergic to cats.

ECONOMICS: Steal the money from the Americans. All those movements agree completely. Honestly.

POLITICAL SCIENCE The number you called is busy...To use ringback, press 5.

EPISTEMOLOGY: Truth depends on whether I'm lying..or not...

PHYSICS: You don't mind, I don't matter.

PHILOSOPHY: I'm thinking about it...

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Becoming intimate with a leader of men...

*** EXTRA CREDIT ***

Universe = Me.

1) Me
2) The area immediately surrounding me
3) The area immediately surrounding the area immediately surrounding me.