The RETURN

**jesus4u** · Sep 3rd, 2003, 09:28 PM

The BIGGEST headline news will be the DAY that Jesus Christ returns to restore order on this Earth.

**crptcblade** · Sep 3rd, 2003, 09:54 PM

Well, until then, give us a break, eh?

**BodwadUK** · Sep 4th, 2003, 03:20 AM

Many nutters have claimed to be Jesus how will you know it is truly Jesus that has returned???

**Shaggy Hiker** · Sep 9th, 2003, 04:55 PM

He'll do the talk show circuit. He'll also be a white guy with long brown hair and a beard, in short: A Hippy.

Besides, we'll be able to tell when Jesus has returned becuase all the holy rollers will be running like crazy for the hills. They like to club others with their piety, but I doubt that would go over so well.

**simonm** · Sep 10th, 2003, 05:38 AM

No doubt, if Jesus did ever return, his biggest detractors would be all the existing, so called, christian churches would would object to the particular form he took and the message he delivered.

**Shaggy Hiker** · Sep 10th, 2003, 11:06 AM

Yeah, after all, they killed him last time, they'll sure be trying next time.

**run_GMoney** · Sep 11th, 2003, 02:27 PM

You keep holding your breath for that headline. I continue having pre-marital sex. Everyone else can decide who's got it better.

**Shaggy Hiker** · Sep 15th, 2003, 12:24 PM

All the responses on this thread seem to be peoples best attempts at a snappy response.

If we get to vote, I vote that run_GMoney had the funniest response. That one killed me. Good job.

**run_GMoney** · Sep 16th, 2003, 08:32 AM

LOL, thx Shag

**Edneeis** · Sep 23rd, 2003, 03:24 PM

I vote for crptcblade, it was classic.

**Foxer** · Sep 23rd, 2003, 09:01 PM

I vote crptcblade.

**PeteD** · Sep 26th, 2003, 12:18 PM

Originally posted by jesus4u
The BIGGEST headline news will be the DAY that Jesus Christ returns to restore order on this Earth.

bollox

**jesus4u** · Sep 26th, 2003, 12:20 PM

Originally posted by BodwadUK
Many nutters have claimed to be Jesus how will you know it is truly Jesus that has returned???

Because the Word of God says that ALL people of the Earth will see Him coming in the clouds of the sky with His army of angels!

**PeteD** · Sep 26th, 2003, 12:43 PM

Originally posted by jesus4u
people of the Earth will see Him cuming in the clouds

Why will he be tossing himself off in the clouds?

**BodwadUK** · Sep 29th, 2003, 02:46 AM

The question is who vandalised his parachute

Be funny if the Angels were watching him fall and where laughing at the joke.

**Wally Pipp** · Sep 29th, 2003, 02:57 AM

"this earth" ... I always knew you were on a different planet.

**beachbum** · Sep 29th, 2003, 03:07 AM

**BodwadUK** · Sep 29th, 2003, 03:33 AM

**Shaggy Hiker** · Sep 29th, 2003, 12:02 PM

All people will see him? Is he taking a really long time, or will he wrap himself around the world such that he is visible on all sides at once?

The latter seems kind of unlikely, so it seems like he will take so long that the earth will have a chance for a few revolutions (seems like there's a new one every day (say....you want a revolution?)) as he gets down here. Perhaps he will be like a feather, and be blown around the world a few laps before he eventually reaches the ground.

In any event, as long as he's taking so long, one hopes that he isn't going to take one Almighty ****. All those angels will be headed straight for the bushes once they reach the ground. Furthermore, I would suggest that the heavenly host would make a tinkling sound.

Oh well, just don't look up.

**BodwadUK** · Sep 30th, 2003, 02:39 AM

So you recommend i buy an umbrella then???

**Shaggy Hiker** · Sep 30th, 2003, 05:21 PM

A biggun.

**BodwadUK** · Oct 1st, 2003, 02:01 AM

And a solid one!!!!!

I could just stay in side and gawp at the TV saying "Wonder how they did that effect..."

**visualAd** · Feb 7th, 2008, 04:57 AM

He is here among us, browsing this forum.

**mendhak** · Feb 7th, 2008, 05:17 AM

Stop talking.

**Tom Sawyer** · Feb 7th, 2008, 10:13 AM

Wow, this thread was a big splash of crazy randomly brought in from the past.

**BodwadUK** · Feb 7th, 2008, 10:42 AM

Explains the tsunami now

**SurfDemon** · Feb 7th, 2008, 10:55 AM

I had forgotten just how mad Jesus4U used to be.....

**nemaroller** · Feb 8th, 2008, 11:16 AM

I guess someone didn't shut down that Jesus bot...

"Jesus4U bot - A program based on a fictitious user. The program logs in every once in a while and posts some religious gibberish. The whole point of the program is to invoke emotions in readers which ultimately surface in their desire to post their opposition to the bot's jibberish.

The net effect is simply to drive up the traffic of the website to increase ad revenue.

There's also the newly created MarkGambo bot, similar in function, but posts political gibberish it grabs from RSS feeds."

**nemaroller** · Feb 8th, 2008, 11:19 AM

I would like to add that the MarkGambo bot is more sophisticated, but a bug in the program caused it to spam the forums a little too much a few weeks ago.

**nemaroller** · Feb 8th, 2008, 11:29 AM

Oh and of course, the infamous Incomprehensible Newbie bot:

The basic premise of the bot is to randomly choose a typical question of very basic nature and disfigure the wording resulting in a forum post such as:
"Excuse me poor english... I have"

It then simply waits for anyone to respond to the original post, and then follows up with:

"Sorry, thank much! I solved the problem!"

http://www.vbforums.com/showthread.p...t=poor+english

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