Awesome joke.

[wossname]

I used to like agricultural machinery a few years ago. I guess you could say I'm an ex-tractor fan!

:roflmagnesium:

[zaza]

I like visiting art galleries. I guess you could say I'm an exhibitionist.


:rofldiatribe:

[nemaroller]

Disappointedly, there wasn't an 'awesome' in either of those.

[timeshifter]

I like visiting VBF during work hours. I guess you could say I'm still not laughing...

[Asgorath]

2 young women speeking.
"I'm never going to have children."
"Why not?"
"I heard the download takes 9 months!"

:rofl:

[Fazi]

may be intresting.

Sardar-why are all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?

Postman:- I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet
Sardar:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it....

Sardar proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year older to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye no problem, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that's a mirror!

if you intrested, i can post more

[dclamp]

please dont.

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

[Fazi]

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

aha, Then ?

[timeshifter]

the subtlety of the English language escapes you, it seems..

[CodedFire]

............ Does nobody think of the bandwith...........

[timeshifter]

Nope.

[kregg]

I'm thinking of the width of this band, yes.

[MartinLiss]

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

• You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
• There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper
  ascends the flights.
• The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to
  go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

- -

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor
the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

- -

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward.

- -

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

- -

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

- -

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with
Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
reads:

- -

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

- - -

PLEASE NOTE: **To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.**


The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

[kregg]

I had to meet up with 17 other goons to go into the Locked Adults Only (+18) Thread.

[dclamp]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving to check out a good prospect, the brunette tells her sister, "Now, when I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it.

After paying him the $599 asking price, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds,"It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette has only $1 left, meaning she'll only be able to send her sister a one-word message. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word...'comfortable'."

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde The word's big. She'll read it slowly...out loud...
("com-for-da-bul")."

[Fazi]

Due to a Great demand, i decided to post more Sardar stories here

Sardar bought a new mobile.
He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My Mobile No. has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is 6610"

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April. When conductor asked for ticket, he gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.

Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order of A,B,C..., so I made it alright.

Depending on the demand, i ll post more

[BillGeek]

I used to like agricultural machinery a few years ago. I guess you could say I'm an ex-tractor fan!

:roflmagnesium:

It's times like these that I wish I never really opened my big mouth... :sigh:

[visualAd]

[visualAd]

Funny but fake.

[BillGeek]

Where do people find all this Stuff?

[dclamp]

haha, thats where your msn name came from va! lol

[kregg]

ROFL nice one visualAd.

[BillGeek]

Kregg's a bit slow nowadays..... :sigh:

[kregg]

I still refuse to talk to you created that wossy's corn thread.

[BillGeek]

What? I thought it was - looking at it in perspective - quite amusing.

[kregg]

You're laughing at your own jokes?

*sighs*

[BillGeek]

If I'm not mistaken, it was Wossy that made that joke up.

[kregg]

Oh yes, I remember now...


It wasn't even funny in the first place. Stop laughing and become a miserable spam head, like me.

If you do not comply, I shall spam you with cheezy comics.

[dclamp]

Please stop you two, or i will write you up for being Ignorant.

[Schatzy]

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer, and an software engineer are riding in a car when the tire blows out.

The mechanical engineer, being of the mechanical sorts, suggests to get out and fix it themselves.
The electrical engineer, not knowing any better, suggests to call a tow truck to come and fix it.
While the software engineer suggests to drive around the block a couple times and see if it fixes itself.

[visualAd]

You got the punchline wrong it's ..... the software engineer suggested they close all the windows and restart the engine.

[LA.Rhodes]

Two blondes are driving to Disney World, They see a sign, "Disney World Left", so they turned around and drove back home.

[Lord Orwell]

please dont.

A guy walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

That's nothing!
A Baby Seal Walks into a CLUB! (Splat)

And also:

Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None: That's a hardware problem.

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb.
A. I can't answer for fear of being banned

[timeshifter]

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb.

Two.


Or more....

[Lord Orwell]

Two.


Or more....

Ah Daredevil, The Man Without Fear (of being banned(again))

[wossname]

Presumably a lightbulb is too heavy for a single mouse to lift by itself.

[timeshifter]

Ah Daredevil, The Man Without Fear (of being banned(again))

It's a staple. JR had how many bannings under his belt? I've only got 2. Life is easy for me by comparison.

[Lord Orwell]

this is pretty sad, but i need someone to explain the original joke. I don't know what an extractor fan is

[soso3]

Ex (used to)
tractor (farm equipment)

[Lord Orwell]

yeah i got the farm reference. I live next to a corn field in Indiana. I don't get the "extractor fan" part