Cig. butt in my unlocked car.

[capsulecorpjx]

What the hell? I got into my car today and I noticed that the door was unlocked. I thought well I must have forgotten or something.

Then later on I noticed that there is a cigarette butt on the driver side, and I don't smoke.

It's very odd, maybe someone broke in, but it's not to steal anything. I have nothing of value in the car. I don't notice any CD's or even the loose change missing.

I also noticed a cop car patrolling in my neighborhood, leaving right as I was parking my car into my spot.

Now ... I'm a paranoid person to begin with but I start thinking:

-> A smoker broke into my car at night, drove my car to do some criminal activity. The cops got my license plate from some witnesses and is patrolling the neighborhood looking for it.

[timeshifter]

Yeah, that could be a problem.

[wossname]

At least you have DNA on the cigarette butt, its a good job you didn't throw it in the bin...oh.

[capsulecorpjx]

At least you have DNA on the cigarette butt, its a good job you didn't throw it in the bin...oh.

I didn't throw it away, it's still on the floor of my car. Unfortunately I did pick it up with my bear hand. I hope that didn't taint it.

I'll leave it there for a few days.

[wossname]

Yes, that sounds like a good plan.

[sevenhalo]

Here's what you do: immediately call the cops.

Tell them you think your car was involved in some crime, but you don't know what... And that someone stole it, but you don't know who. And make sure that you tell them atleast three times "whatever happened, it wasn't me" and "I'm innocent." Infact, if you can do both in the same breath, that really helps as well.

Oh, and be sure to mention that you have the cigarette butt. They might ask you if you just found it on the street or in the dirt, but stick to your guns. Anyone who smokes is inherently guilty of whatever crime you attach them to.

[wossname]

Spray your car a different colour and remove the license plates. That will avert suspicion.

[capsulecorpjx]

Here's what you do: immediately call the cops.

Tell them you think your car was involved in some crime, but you don't know what... And that someone stole it, but you don't know who. And make sure that you tell them atleast three times "whatever happened, it wasn't me" and "I'm innocent." Infact, if you can do both in the same breath, that really helps as well.

Oh, and be sure to mention that you have the cigarette butt. They might ask you if you just found it on the street or in the dirt, but stick to your guns. Anyone who smokes is inherently guilty of whatever crime you attach them to.

Wow why are you so prejudiced against smokers?
Or are you being sarcastic?

I would have reacted the same way if I found lipstick on the driver's side.

[sevenhalo]

Good idea wossy. Also, bleach your hair and grow/shave your goatee. If that cop saw you in your bewilderment, he might think you look like the perp. Bleaching your hair should confuse him.

[sevenhalo]

Another good idea is to plant a tree or work in your garden - anything that will turn up some fresh dirt mounds. This will give you an alibi when the cops are asking you where you were while the car was stolen.

[crptcblade]

Bribe the cop with money and/or sexual favors.

[szlamany]

I didn't throw it away, it's still on the floor of my car. Unfortunately I did pick it up with my bear hand. I hope that didn't taint it.

I'll leave it there for a few days.

I just heard on CNN that they are looking for a crazed-paranoid-smoking-killer with BEAR hands in your area.

Prefers small cars

[visualAd]

Simple solution. Eat your car

[sevenhalo]

And if the cops ask you if you "know someone by the name of...." Don't be so quick to answer. It could be someone you knew from high school or maybe a friend of a friend... Really, really think about it. You don't want to sound too sure around police.

[nemaroller]

What the hell? I got into my car today and I noticed that the door was unlocked. I thought well I must have forgotten or something.

Then later on I noticed that there is a cigarette butt on the driver side, and I don't smoke.

Perhaps... you p#ss3d off the wrong person on the way into work that day. Or you're being set up to be framed.

[capsulecorpjx]

I just heard on CNN that they are looking for a crazed-paranoid-smoking-killer with BEAR hands in your area.

Prefers small cars

er bare

[mendhak]

There's nothing suspicious about it. Late at night, walking in deserted streets, I often look for unlocked cars where I can sit and enjoy a nice cigarette without soccer moms and old couples feigning a bad cough.

Sometimes though, I like to take the car for a ride and kill a few prostitutes on my clandestine cigarette breaks.

[capsulecorpjx]

There's nothing suspicious about it. Late at night, walking in deserted streets, I often look for unlocked cars where I can sit and enjoy a nice cigarette without soccer moms and old couples feigning a bad cough.

Sometimes though, I like to take the car for a ride and kill a few prostitutes on my clandestine cigarette breaks.

Do you live in Washington State by any chance?

[szlamany]

Do you live in Washington State by any chance?

Right - Ulaan Baator is right next to Puyallup

[zaza]

mendhak has a sig. butt

[crptcblade]

Donate your car. Quickly.

[MasterBlaster]

Did you park on the street and leave your window down? I used to find garbage thrown in the bed of my pickup truck all the time when I lived on a busy street. I've also had cigarette butts fly in my window driving down I5 and I405. I imagine one could sneak in your car without you noticing it. The best was a freezing cold cherry slurpee to the face at 70 mph on I 90 riding my motorcycle.

[Shaggy Hiker]

Man, that's cold.

The bit about the lipstick got me thinking. It was probably just some couple (or maybe a single guy) looking for a little privacy.

If you sit and think about that idea for a little while, you will soon be choosing one of crptcblade's solutions.

[grilkip]

Do you have siblings?

[capsulecorpjx]

Did you park on the street and leave your window down? I used to find garbage thrown in the bed of my pickup truck all the time when I lived on a busy street. I've also had cigarette butts fly in my window driving down I5 and I405. I imagine one could sneak in your car without you noticing it. The best was a freezing cold cherry slurpee to the face at 70 mph on I 90 riding my motorcycle.

On second thought maybe my shoe picked up the cig butt from the streets and left it in the car.

[sevenhalo]

On second thought maybe my shoe picked up the cig butt from the streets and left it in the car.

Impossible.

[wild_bill]

I'm thinking a drunk stumbling his way to the box car he calls home used your car for a toilet, and a quick smoke.

[oceanebelle]

well did you check for missing gas?

[Lord Orwell]

The solution is obvious. He bought the car used, and it was under his seat since he bought the car and finally vibrated out in the open where he could see it. But seriously, who smokes in a car and puts the butt out on the floor of the car? Great way to start a fire. That's what the open window or ash tray is for.

[BodwadUK]

or it was on his shoe when he got in one time lol

[timeshifter]

Already been suggested.. get with the times.

[BodwadUK]

Well a second opinion means it must be the case

[szlamany]

This thread might actually be a new low for absolute worthless drivel - even for CC

[kregg]

There can only be one answer for this - It is so simple!

Timeshifter time-shifted time to about 5 minutes before you got into your car, broke into your car, smoked a cigarette, and time-shifted back for a Guiness World Record.

[Lord Orwell]

That can't be the case at all. Everyone knows Guinnes requires documentation.

[timeshifter]

Besides, I don't smoke.

[Lord Orwell]

Someone asked Inspector Cluseau if he smoked after sex. He said "I don't know, i never checked."