To Women Everywhere

[barrk]

This was sent to me by my husband.......he thought it was hysterical.........so I figured you guys would too

TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM MEN WHO'VE HAD ENOUGH

· Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; You need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

· If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

· If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.

· Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

· Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

· If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

· Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

· Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

· Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.

· When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

· You have enough clothes.

· You have too many shoes.

· Crying is blackmail.

· Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

· We don't know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on the calendar.

· Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.

· Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

· Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

· Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.

· Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

· A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

· Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

· It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

· No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

· Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

· If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

· Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

· You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.

· When ever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

· ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.

· If it itches, it will be scratched.

· Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

· If we ask what's wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

· What the hell is a doily?

lol Katie, that is funny .

Funny katie...........

I don't have to worry about remembering Birthdays etc my wife gives me plenty of lead time and advice on what see wants.

THis year it's a trip to Italy to do some ceramics stuff...now if she would take the young fella with her it could be a present for the whole family

[barrk]

I make sure to remind my husband too........saves so much anguish on my part. Plus I get what I want that way instead of him having to guess!

[HarryW]

Hehehe I've seen that several times before, and I swear it just gets funnier and more truthful every time

Am sending your husband the latest Victoria's secret catalog......oops.......it's not his birthday is it.

[barrk]

Go ahoead and send it Jethro! Might bring up something interesting....that way I get the benefit too!!!!!

[CiberTHuG]

*heh* Lucky. I'm getting married in July. I will never have another need of a VS catalog.

They don't make anything larger than a 14.

*shudder*