[Serious] What would you do?

[RobDog888]

I have been working on consulting independantly for the past couple of months and its slowly growin but at least its growing. I have recently been offered a great job being the main IT/Web Developer guy at a very good company. They are about a 40 mile drive in heavy traffic (1.5 - 2 hours each way) but allow for a 4 x 10 workweek with my choice of Fridays or Mondays off, 401(k), full medical, full dental, and fringe benefits all over, like 2 week company paid trip to Mexico every December for all employees, free football tickets, bonus', trip to Florida each year to support the company at a trade show for a week, and an INSAINE amount of major $$$$$$.

Only thing is that I would have heavy responsibilities, long drive, 14-16 hour days, have to leave my daughters alone until the evening when I get home (they will have dinner ready and waiting for me ), need to buy a commuter car to help save on gas and get one with an automatic transmission to save my leg from not having to use a clutch lol, not being able to have programming as my main priority will be bad although having to write 3 websites a year and update several company owned sites on a bi weekly schedule wil keep me into 'programming' I guess. I would suport 100+ systems, phone systems, air conditioning system (computer controlled and regulated), system updates, monitor all systems, desktop support etc.

So knowing that I have kids would you take the offer or continue to grow my consulting business so I can avoid traffic and be home for the kids?

[wossname]

You need to get your priorities sorted out. Seriously.

I feel that I should add more at this point but its just such a no-brainer that I can't even believe you are having to ask.

[mendhak]

How old are the kids?

[RobDog888]

15 and 17 girls.

I know I shouldnt have to ask as its a no brainer but I just love to program so much that I want to try to see if a typical programming job would be a better choice? I dont like supporting users desktop issues or web programming too much but I have my principals and I try to do whats best for my family regardless of $. I guess the members with kids will relate easier.

[wossname]

Daughters...clutch transmission...daughters...clutch transmission... Yes I can see your dilemma.

[Removed]

[mendhak]

No, but look for another. Isn't worth it.

[sevenhalo]

Independant. All the way. If you're making it work for you, there's no point in changing for something so far away. If you could work with them on your schedule (maybe make it 2x days a week and 3x days telecommuting), I would consider it. Otherwise, it's not worth it.

[RobDog888]

Thats just it, its basically working but there is no guarentee, but just no major profits, yet.

With the position I can payoff my house in 2.5 years lol.

[sevenhalo]

Try to negotiate your schedule. The worst that could happen is they say no.

Plus, if you do the 3x telecommuting, you're giving them an extra day as a comprimise.

[demotivater]

Your kids are older then mine, so that may make a difference. I have a 5 year old daughter and one more coming at the end of August. I just turned down a job that paid 20k more than I currently make. The drive was a lot longer, and it involved nights and occasional weekends. Nights I could do, no biggie, but I couldn't see myself not seeing my kid(s) as much as I do know. Family comes first for me. It's easier to make these decisions when you don't really "need" a new job. I'm happy with the call I made, but the 20k would have been nice.

[szlamany]

Robert,

I last worked for a lizard boss in the mid-80's. We were all promised the world - made the best product in North America for the business line we were in...

The 4 big partners sold to another company - they took the $$'s - we all got the shaft.

At that point I promised myself I would never work for another person again - now everything I develop is mine, mine, mine.

For 20+ years we have grown here steadily - it's the best thing in the world! (and the worst when cash-flow is light )...

But I still would never trade it for anything else.

I could give you a hundred reasons for staying in your own consulting business...

[RobDog888]

I know all good reasons but with occasionally dipping into my little savings I get worried. I have a new program to write coming up in August and it should be good money but after that I hope it doesnt slow especially with the slow holiday season coming up.

I know my kids are older and may be old enough to be left alone but with girls and no one at home its a hard choice. Especially since the extra pay increasae is sickeningly big bucks way beyond I ever thought in my wildest dreams a IT manager or programmer could make. If I do take it I may buy another house closer to work but not until a year or so into the position.

Could you give up an additional big six figure income on top of what your already decently making to take this job no matter the family sacrafice?

[RobDog888]

Oh and plus, I would have to cut my VBF posting down to an hour a day

[szlamany]

Lizard bosses - they fire you in a second...

Sorry - I cannot for the life of me come up with one good reason to work for anyone else...

I would sooner paint houses or build backyard decks then give my intellectual property away...

plus - another benefit - I'm leaving early today, buying some bedroom furniture for my kids and going to dinner with my wife

[RobDog888]

See, thats what I am talking about when it comes to being independant. When I get tired, I can take a nap, drink a beer while I work, work on my house or whatever. But the money is just so big that maybe it would be worth it to work for a couple of years. Then retire?

[demotivater]

Could you give up an additional big six figure income on top of what your already decently making to take this job no matter the family sacrafice?

I honestly don't know. With that kind of money, you have lots of options to make things work with the family. Eeek, I wish I had to make that choice.

Oh, and I'd be scared to death to leave two teenaged girls home alone.

[sevenhalo]

Could you give up an additional big six figure income on top of what your already decently making to take this job no matter the family sacrafice?

My dad didn't.

Now I suck at sports, don't know how to change the oil in my car and still can't put a tie on right (all of mine are hung up pre-noosed). Even today, all we talk about is work and computers cause that's all we know about eachother.

Put your family first. Szl makes a good point.

[RobDog888]

They even told me that they would wait for me until September when the kids go back to school but I just got word today that they may need me to decide within 2 weeks. Seems like they really want me and are willing to pay me 50% more then what the previous IT guy was making.

Hmm, maybe if I could get out early so I could be home by 4pm that would be ok for a 5 day workweek.

[GaryMazzone]

I turned down a similar set up as an Oracle DBA in Boston (I live in NH). The money was great, time of, flex hours good benifits. I decided that the time at home in the evening with my wife and daughter was much more important to me then the money (I tuned down six figure salary, they wanted me bad).

[RobDog888]

Ok, I didnt want to post this but lets just say the salary is waaaay waaaay waaaaay waaaaay waaaaay waaaaay waaaaay waaaaay over $100,000+. Now do you see why its making me consider it?

[sevenhalo]

It sounds like you really want to do this and your mind is made up already.

Go for it.

And if you're in a position to hire, message me with the address I can send my resume.

[demotivater]

Well, money can't buy happiness.



But it sure as hell can rent it for a while. I'd give it a shot, if it doesn't work out - quit. If you're making that kind of money - can the wife stay home?

[RobDog888]

I have always sacraficed everything for the past 13 years to raise my kids as a single dad so I do have my priorities in order but this could also be good for them to have college paid, new cars, new home etc.

Yes, they have a couple of other locations in San Diego and Colorado I think it is.

[sevenhalo]

I say go for it and congrats.

[Al42]

15 and 17? The next 6 years or so are years you'll never be able to get back. Do you want them to remember the color of the back of your car, or the look on your face? (Mine's old enough that it's her problem now, but I was there [except for 2 months overseas on one job that couldn't be helped] until she was on her own.)

I always opt for family over getting rich. Money doesn't do any good when the kids spend all their time at the in-laws because Dad didn't have time for them - as long as the bills get paid and there's something left over. But no one "needs" $100k++++ just to pay the bills.

Discuss it with them - do they want to know that Dad's earning money by the pound, or do they want Dad there when they want him there?

[RobDog888]

One other complication that makes me not want to take it is that I herd about the job from a friend that works there...

[RobDog888]

Good suggestion AI42. I just see a chance to provide allot of things that I could have before and may not be able to for a long time. Just wanting the best for my kids makes me look at this seriously.

They are old enough to have that kind of discussion.

[sevenhalo]

Is he going to be working for you?

[RobDog888]

Is he going to be working for you?

No, She will be at a parallel position.

[sevenhalo]

Ahh, sorry.

I don't see how that's a complication then?

[RobDog888]

[gtilles]

From your first post it seemed readily apparent that you are trying to syke yourself up to the job. I don't think you are really into as much as you would like to be to enjoy the benefits.
Maybe something will come along closer to home that offers similiar benefits, etc and you might actually enjoy!

[sevenhalo]

ooo... OOOOohhh!

Yeah, hmm... Now I'm following.

[RobDog888]

I had already declined the initial offer which was way over 100,000 but then they didnt believe that I did that so I herd they are going to make a 50% increase offer as they need someone they can trust and will work hard. Both of which I have always done. Plus, they are in a time crunch as the previous person left already.

Yes, I'm not 100% into the position but for that money I could probably.

[sevenhalo]

How good of friends are you with this person? Do you two still get together outside of work?

[RobDog888]

I dont work there yet but I only know her from outside of that company...

[sevenhalo]

Read between the lines, I'm attempting to be subtle. Or am I picking up on things you didn't say?

[RobDog888]

I thought you were following. Yes, well there is always a possibility for things to break down and thats what I think about after the drive and time away from my kids issues.

[sevenhalo]

That explains the "dog" in your name.

So you know her well enough that it's not going to pose a problem down the line?

[RobDog888]

Yes. Woof woof woof!

Well yes very professional but I dont like the possibility of 'things' potentially causing issues. Maybe its better I suffer and not take the job.