Dumbest IT question

[sevenhalo]

The trick is to push the button once and then start walking while the "Do Not Cross" sign is still red. All cross walks have a safety sensor built into them. That way, if someone starts walking early; it will switch the lights faster.

Try it sometime.

[I_Love_My_Vans]

Dpes that work in england, we dont have DO Not Walk (illeterate we are) we have a simple Red Man symbol.

ILMV

[sevenhalo]

Yeah, it's universal. Trust me, just start walking, the light will change

[Static]

god no!! dont try it with the Red Man symbol.. tried that once and nearly got crushed by a truck!
It ONLY works if it has then words "Do Not Walk"

its like a crosswalk easter egg!

[SeanK]

Yeah, it's universal. Trust me, just start walking, the light will change

Or you will get hit by a woman putting on her makeup while talking on a cell phone and eating a McDonalds Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese.

[sevenhalo]

Before someone becomes the latest victim of Darwinism; there is no such safety feature built into them.

[Hack]

Before someone becomes the latest victim of Darwinism; there is no such safety feature built into them.

Nonsense.

Whenever I have a double quarter pounder with cheese I have the built in safety feature of a napkin. Would want ketsup or mustard on the trousers you know.

[Static]

I actually passed a guy on the thruway who was..

Going 80mph
Reading the paper
Shaving
Talking on Cell
and driving with his knee

[Hack]

I actually passed a guy on the thruway who was..

Going 80mph
Reading the paper
Shaving
Talking on Cell
and driving with his knee

I travel on three different expressways each day to and from work, and this is not an unusual site (although, it is mostly women that I see "multi-tasking." *ducks* )

[sevenhalo]

Ohh, I get it. They're half Pices!

[Hack]

Ohh, I get it. They're half Pices!

Exactly.

And their favorite shopping times are a Half Pices Sales.

[wossname]

Sounds like the ******* Operator From Hell

*gasp* do not mention the Lord's name in vain.

[wossname]

Re: automated crossings

I used to work in the engineers department at the council and I know for a fact that the electronics do not give a rats ass if you jump into the road early

[Static]

sure they do...

[sevenhalo]

If it doesn't kick in by the time you make it half way across the street; you're supposed to turn around and try it again. It'll work eventually.

[wossname]

Yeah thats what the guys said, I was nearly hit by a cement truck on my first day on-site.

[penagate]

I don't think I've paid attention to crossings for years ... Here, we jog (or if it's peak hour, stroll whilst reading the paper and talking on the phone) through the gaps in traffic.

[sevenhalo]

I was trying to help someone set up their printer over the phone and asked them to make sure it was turned on. I explained that there should be a red or green light on it. And they told me:

"I'm not computer illiterate, I have the internet at home."

[big blue alien]

"I'm not computer illiterate, I have the internet at home."

Thats the point that you answer "very well i'm sure you can sort out this small problem yourself" and hang up

[sevenhalo]

Thats the point that you answer "very well i'm sure you can sort out this small problem yourself" and hang up

I wanted to say "Really? Mind if I borrow it sometime?" But... Judgement got the better of me, so I bit my tongue.

[mendhak]

I had a friend who would click on the progress bar in IE and Firefox when a page was loading. He said it'd make the page load faster. Coincidentally, each time he did it, the page did load faster. There was no way I could convince him.

[Shaggy Hiker]

I don't think I've paid attention to crossings for years ... Here, we jog (or if it's peak hour, stroll whilst reading the paper and talking on the phone) through the gaps in traffic.

Yeah, here too, keeps us ahead of the muggers....oh wait, I'm not in Washington anymore.

[wossname]

I had a friend who would click on the progress bar in IE and Firefox when a page was loading. He said it'd make the page load faster. Coincidentally, each time he did it, the page did load faster. There was no way I could convince him.

If you watch the processes tab in task manager while you click it then you'll see a new thread starting that allocates extra IO resources to IE's download process. It does actually make the page load faster.

Oh my yes.

[ididntdoit]

I dunno if anyone's heard this, but I thought of it right away when I saw this thread, I put it in quote box only 'cause it's easier to read. BE SURE TO READ IT OUT LOUD! IT REALLY IS MUCH BETTER THAT WAY!

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is
interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes
your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to
report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the
double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is
corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless
and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network
is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to
tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer
down the hall.

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your
icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot
and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna
hang.

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the
macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to
flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and then quickly turn off
the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Well, that certainly clears things up for me. How about you?
Thank you, Bill Gates, for bringing all this into our lives.

By Dr. Suese

I'm not sure everything really would make logical sense, like RAMing your ROM, but oh well

[TheBigB]

*teaching my grandmother how to work with a computer*
me: ok, now put the mouse on the upper left corner.
granny: *lifts mouse and put it on the monitor*


also tried to teach my grandfather to work with computers, but he was afraid the mouse would move from itself or bite him

[grilkip]

(sharing some of my home made pizza)

she:It tastes very good.
me:can you taste the Danish Blue cheese?
she:Oh, I like everything.

[-TPM-]

I was talking to a guy in the office one day and explaining how you can assign a static IP in DHCP because it uses the MAC address to identify the machine. At which point he get's a very puzzled look and asks how the Mac's help pointing to the G4 in marketing.

The guy was my boss, the IT Manager...

[-TPM-]

I actually passed a guy on the thruway who was..

Going 80mph
Reading the paper
Shaving
Talking on Cell
and driving with his knee

I once saw a woman using a curling iron while driving...

[ididntdoit]

One guy was in our local paper for being pulled over by a cop and it turns out, he was cooking a chicken or somethign in a crock pot!