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Thread: If Microsoft made beer....

  1. #1
    spetnik
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    Exclamation If Microsoft made beer....

    *shudders at the thought and decides not to speculate :*

  2. #2
    WorkHorse
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    When purchasing MSBeer 2.1 (c) 2002 Microsoft Corporation you must also purchase our MS BeerGlass, MS Tap, MS Keg, and MS FullBar as those are essential components necessary for the beer drinking functionality.

    You may not sell, share, lend, or otherwise distribute your Beer as described in the EULA.

    You must register each Beer and await authentification of your beer before the Beer may be legally consumed.

    THE BEER IS PROVIDED TO YOU "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF DRUNKENESS AND/OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PICK-UP LINE. YOU CONSUME THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO THE POTENCY AND THE USE OF THE BEER. MICROSOFT SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE BEER, EVEN IF MICROSOFT HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE INESCAPABLE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

    -------------------
    System Requirements
    -------------------

    To properly implement Beer in your system you must have an undamaged liver and a reasonable amount of tolerance. Use of other related products may enhance or inhibit the use of Beer.

    ----------
    What's New
    ----------

    This version of Beer offers several improvements to performance and stability. No new functinality has been added.

    This version of Beer offers you greater stability because it has been tested in more environments. Sucesfull completion of sobriety tests is not guaranteed.

    Microsoft Beer exposes interfaces to consumers wanting access to women on one or more beer goggles.



    The CERAMICGOD_WORSHIP provider specific property is no longer supported.

    If a command is attempted on a woman who already has a command outstanding, Beer creates another connection to process the new command if an active transaction on the woman attempts to execute a second command returns locking managed by a second connection generated on the separate connections that do not share locks, then care must be taken to ensure one command does not block another by holding locks on rows requested by the other Beer.


    For further reference, please purchase our BeerGut Developer's Guide.

  3. #3
    PowerPoster cafeenman's Avatar
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    Originally posted by WorkHorse
    When purchasing MSBeer 2.1 (c) 2002 Microsoft Corporation you must also purchase our MS BeerGlass, MS Tap, MS Keg, and MS FullBar as those are essential components necessary for the beer drinking functionality.
    So you need a beer truck full of components to consume 12 oz of beer that's probably 1% alcohol and didn't lose it's fizz because it never had any.

    I think you pegged it. Good one!

  4. #4
    PowerPoster Nightwalker83's Avatar
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    That would be wierd
    when you quote a post could you please do it via the "Reply With Quote" button or if it multiple post click the "''+" button then "Reply With Quote" button.
    If this thread is finished with please mark it "Resolved" by selecting "Mark thread resolved" from the "Thread tools" drop-down menu.
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  5. #5
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    FYI: Microsoft has just released it's patch for Microsoft Beer. Apparently, a programming flaw in the beer left it tasteless. With this patch, it's still as tasteless as before, but now we have floating ants in there.

  6. #6
    WorkHorse
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    Q12345: After a thorough examination of numerous complaints, we have found no bugs in our Beer.

  7. #7
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    except for this flea, we'll call it Netscape.

  8. #8
    spetnik
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    Someone told me that MS Beer only works if you have the MS compatibility chip installed in your brain. Otherwise, it will not get you drunk. This is because Micrsoft's version of Alcohol does not run on the standard cerebrum.



  9. #9
    Frenzied Member Andrew G's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    MS Beer



    Sorry i felt like bringing this old thread up

  10. #10
    Fanatic Member namrekka's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    What about the license, only one beer for one person?

  11. #11
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    One beer drinker can have as many beers as he likes as long as he uses the same glass or he owns all the glasses he drinks from.



    *Cue wossy*:

    Linux beer... make your own! This beer is sweeet.

  12. #12
    Lively Member Wally Pipp's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Try the open source Mozilla BeerFox. The tap is open 24/24 as long as you keep to your own glass. Should you change anything in the beer (gob in it etc...) you are to spread it around (i.e. gob in everyone else's beer).

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  13. #13
    Fanatic Member namrekka's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Does it fit in any glass?

  14. #14
    Lively Member Wally Pipp's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    You provide the glass, the beer flows freely. Downside is that everyone wants it to taste differently. That's why you have green beer.
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  15. #15
    Fanatic Member namrekka's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Well I don’t know.

    I’m a little afraid if someone is nipping my beer. I could be infected then. How sure can I be that there is only 1 instance of that glass.

    Also the client server relation is not clear to me.

    Btw Wally I thought Msbeer was blue?

  16. #16
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Workers who make orange juice always spit in the vat of orange juice they create.

    Bet you didn't know that.

  17. #17
    Frenzied Member Andrew G's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    So thats the secret flavour i always taste?

  18. #18
    Fanatic Member namrekka's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    I don't outsource "orange juice". I trust my own created process of "orange juice".

  19. #19
    Banished Cander's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Man I thought spetnik was back.

    Dam thread necromancers!
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  20. #20
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    ......you would see a blue screen and then *zap*......

  21. #21
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Linux beer:

    Often you will not find this in any shops, and when you do you have to pay a nominal charge for the packaging only. The hangover cures (which are still in beta) are available from some obscure german website. You can freely redistribute linux beer (on the floor of your hallway) as long as you remember to let everyone know you aren't the person responsible for the mess it made on the carpet.

    If you find a pub that sells it then you will most likely have make your own beer glass while you are standing at the bar, the barman won't have any.
    I don't live here any more.

  22. #22
    Banished Cander's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Quote Originally Posted by wossname
    Linux beer:

    Often you will not find this in any shops, and when you do you have to pay a nominal charge for the packaging only. The hangover cures (which are still in beta) are available from some obscure german website. You can freely redistribute linux beer (on the floor of your hallway) as long as you remember to let everyone know you aren't the person responsible for the mess it made on the carpet.

    If you find a pub that sells it then you will most likely have make your own beer glass while you are standing at the bar, the barman won't have any.
    Linux beer at a pub: They give you the hops, yeast, and water. You have to get the tools and do the rest yourself.
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  23. #23
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    $ brew --out=../usr/local/beer --target=auto -hvfs -p=verbose

    Loading brewer config... [ Done ]
    Brewing time remaining: 2 hours 34 minutes...




    ...



    Brewing time remaining: 12 seconds...
    ERROR: Required dependency missing / corrupt - aborting.

    $
    I don't live here any more.

  24. #24
    Hyperactive Member francisstokes's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Quote Originally Posted by wossname
    Brewing time remaining: 12 seconds...
    ERROR: Required dependency missing / corrupt - aborting.
    Sounds more like WinBeer.

  25. #25
    Banished Cander's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Quote Originally Posted by francisstokes
    Sounds more like WinBeer.

    No thats LinBeer.
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  26. #26
    Fanatic Member dark_shadow's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    with all this talk of beer what about the macbeer dont forget Apple

  27. #27
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Apple only make iCider
    I don't live here any more.

  28. #28
    Retired G&G Mod NoteMe's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Here you have real open source beer....
    http://www.voresoel.dk/

  29. #29
    Super Moderator si_the_geek's Avatar
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    Re: If Microsoft made beer....

    Øh nø, it's gøt all thøse funny Ø characters all øver the place!

    (it's a nice idea, shame they drank it all!)

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