Software Development Cycle

[Arto]

Haha, just saw this. They didn't teach me in school that development cycle is like that

It's almost like in our company..

--

Software Development Cycle

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet.
Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside
details of the program development cycle.

1) Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2) Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3) Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing
department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4) Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and
discovers 15 new bugs.

5) See 3.

6) See 4.

7) See 5.

8) See 6.

9) See 7.

10) See 8.

11) Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product
announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the
product is released.

12) Users find 137 new bugs.

13) Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to
be found.

14) Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs,
but introduce 456 new ones.

15) Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard
from Fiji.
Entire testing department quits.

16) Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits
from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

17) New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to
redo program from scratch.

18) Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free....

--

Sorry, I'm little frustrated. Our one man testing team has just found another bunch of bugs.

[Dave Bleby]

Very good.....

But they didn't mention the high volumes of bad language and crippling amounts of industrial strength caffine!

Dave.

[BodwadUK]

And also the fact that products are sold before the programmer even hears the idea

[Arto]

And also the fact that products are sold before the programmer even hears the idea

Uuh, thats sooo familiar! And of course the programmer is in the middle of at least three different projects.

[Merri]

Hey, this is a rare sighting! A fellow Finn! Nyt minäkin voin puhua täällä jotain muuta kuin englantia ja hermostuttaa kaikki sillä! And no one would notice a thing! Darn I'm evil!

[BodwadUK]

Sounds Russian. I hear you finns hate the russians

I have to work on a Finnish system. Its a nightmare not being able to understand the language, expecially VNC'ing to a finnish keyboard setup

[Valleysboy1978]

Haha, just saw this. They didn't teach me in school that development cycle is like that

It's almost like in our company..

--

Software Development Cycle

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet.
Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside
details of the program development cycle.

1) Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2) Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3) Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing
department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4) Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and
discovers 15 new bugs.

5) See 3.

6) See 4.

7) See 5.

8) See 6.

9) See 7.

10) See 8.

11) Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product
announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the
product is released.

12) Users find 137 new bugs.

13) Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to
be found.

14) Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs,
but introduce 456 new ones.

15) Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard
from Fiji.
Entire testing department quits.

16) Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits
from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

17) New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to
redo program from scratch.

18) Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free....

--

Sorry, I'm little frustrated. Our one man testing team has just found another bunch of bugs.

The scary thing is that it's so true!

[Merri]

Sounds Russian. I hear you finns hate the russians

I have to work on a Finnish system. Its a nightmare not being able to understand the language, expecially VNC'ing to a finnish keyboard setup

Sounds? Nowhere near! Even English sounds much closer to Russian than Finnish!

Btw, Finnish keyboard setup beats the English one any day! Especially Airas (= Finnish version of Dvorak).

[heuyen]

hahaha. so true.

[Arto]

Sounds Russian. I hear you finns hate the russians

I have to work on a Finnish system. Its a nightmare not being able to understand the language, expecially VNC'ing to a finnish keyboard setup

Sounds Russian!? There's nothing common in Finnish and Russian, tstst.. Except we both love booze

[Arto]

Hey, this is a rare sighting! A fellow Finn! Nyt minäkin voin puhua täällä jotain muuta kuin englantia ja hermostuttaa kaikki sillä! And no one would notice a thing! Darn I'm evil!

Another Finn! I though that I'm the only one here.

[BodwadUK]

and where the f*** is the \ key

Took me years to find it using an english keyboard on a Finnish system

[Arto]

This picture describes this whole cycle again..

[BodwadUK]