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Thread: Wanted: Great One-Liners

  1. Dec 28th, 2000, 02:15 PM #1
    Guest
    funny, astounding, startling, whatever. everything welcome.
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  2. Dec 28th, 2000, 02:34 PM #2
    parksie
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    In possession of a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds
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  3. Dec 28th, 2000, 03:01 PM #3
    JPRoy392
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    Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
    Jim

    "...head is all empty and I don't care..."
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  4. Dec 28th, 2000, 03:57 PM #4
    JPRoy392
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    Gun control: Using both hands.

    and

    After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
    Jim

    "...head is all empty and I don't care..."
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  6. Dec 28th, 2000, 04:36 PM #5
    Guest

    Talking

    She is so far back in the closet, that she is currently in Narnia.
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  7. Dec 28th, 2000, 04:46 PM #6
    Guest
    Scientology will relieve you of the weight of your excess money.
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  8. Dec 28th, 2000, 05:04 PM #7
    Benjamin
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    I put my finger in my nose and part of my brain came out.
    -Dennis
    [email protected]
    Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?


    The end justifies the means
    http://www.cfm-resources.com/d/dewrenn
    http://www.phpsquare.com
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  9. Dec 28th, 2000, 07:47 PM #8
    Sophtware
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    Jim henson ( the muppets)

    Anyone got some aspirin? i think i am catching a cold...
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  11. Dec 29th, 2000, 06:59 AM #9
    paulw
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    Nothing to declare... except my genius

    Oscar Wilde, passing through Customs.
    Not nearly so tired now...

    Haven't been around much so be gentle...
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  12. Dec 29th, 2000, 09:13 AM #10
    JPRoy392
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    Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
    Jim

    "...head is all empty and I don't care..."
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  13. Dec 29th, 2000, 10:50 AM #11
    Garkin
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    Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.

    and

    There are three lies in life. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
    B.D.H.
    VB6, ASP, and still working in good ol' Basic!


    Training means learning the rules. Experience means learning the exceptions.
    ----Joe Cossman

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  14. Dec 29th, 2000, 11:37 AM #12
    Guest
    Lost: Wife and dog. Will pay reward for dog.

    What can five men do at the same time that five women can't? Piss on the same spot.
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  15. Dec 29th, 2000, 01:25 PM #13
    parksie
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    Ninety percent of the politiciants give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds
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  16. Dec 29th, 2000, 10:39 PM #14
    YoungBuck
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    Should 'anal retentive' have a hyphen?
    {Insert random techno-babble here}

    {Insert quote from some long gone mofo here}
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  17. Dec 30th, 2000, 09:46 AM #15
    Guest
    The home page on my website displays a random quote each visit. Each time you click on the "Home" link on the left hand side (or refresh the page) you'll get a new one.

    The address is: http://www.mralston.co.uk

    I'd apreciate any that you people want to add to the site too.
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  18. Jan 2nd, 2001, 09:35 AM #16
    JPRoy392
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    The beatings will continue until morale improves.

    and

    I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
    Jim

    "...head is all empty and I don't care..."
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