A Woman with P.M.S

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

The Woman with P.M.S's Answer:

One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the
bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, they actually found the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged across two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE RUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS......

I'm sorry.....what did you ask me?

[barrk]

Careful now Matthew...touchy subject for some of us!

Actually PMS stands for Pouting Male Syndrome or Putting ups with Men's ****!

hehe barrk, I know how it is, I have to deal with it .
My mom and sister both get it and it's hell on Earth that day.
On normal days though, my mom wakes up in the morning and is cranky and she starts yelling at me, I hate this.
This is what skool is good for...and when the time comes, a car as well .

Sorry if I offended you Katie, but it's the truth .

[Benjamin]

when my sister gets it and starts yelling at me, I scream at her, and tell her to go home....

I hate my sister.... there are a lot of reasons... but I can't really say them here...

[barrk]

Is she older or younger than you Dennis?

Matthew...no offense taken.

[Benjamin]

she's 27....

all I can say here... is she goes to a methadone clinic daily... and if you know what that is... you'll know what she has done, and if you do that kind of stuff, your cravings can make you forget about everything... and not care... so that might force her to steal stuff... my stuff... and sell it... gotdamnit I hate that *****...

[barrk]

I do know what that is Dennis. Sounds like she needs you support and understanding right now more than your hatred. Material things are not as important as family....ever.

[Benjamin]

I know that... I don't care about 1/2 the stuff she took... it's just that it was mine, she didn't even ask me... I would have gladly let her borrow some of the stuff...

and it's not just that.. she hates me... which is why I hate her....

she is always yelling at me, but never my brother, and she is just an evil person...

[barrk]

Try not to let it ruin your holidays Dennis. It's bound to get better as she gets further into her rehab.

[Benjamin]

farther?
she has been on the same dosage for like a year...

and I don't think she wants to get off of methadone.... she always "cheats"...

and she's just a *****.... it's not because of what she's done.......
this one time before I was born(my parents told me about this) she and my grandmother were shopping, and my sister got everything she wanted.... and my grandmother wanted some chocolate(the store was about 100ft away), but my sister wanted to go home, and they kept arguing until my grandmother just gave in and went home.....

I would have beat the crap out of my sister if I was born(and there) when she did that...

[Benjamin]

don't worry.. it won't ruin my holidays........

I have learned how to pay attention to one thing only..
if I am paying attention to something, I can either listen to 2 things at a time(like when I am playing with my calculator at school ) or only pay attention to one thing and not hear or see anything else...

yeah.. I am special

[barrk]

I'm sorry to hear that Dennis. I have to go home now though. I hope your holidays improve. You're a great kid. I'll talk to you on Tuesday if your on site!

Take care...Merry Christmas.

Katie

[Benjamin]

bye katie....


I shouldn't have gotten into talking about her... you're all lucky I didn't cuss even more than I did....

if I had to write about how I truly felt about her... I would get banned by james...