Keep fit with wossy.

[wossname]

OK guys, singlehanded-handstand pushups, left arm first...

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and rest.

Change arm and... a one
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And stop. Well done everyone. *claps*

[visualAd]

** puff puff puff **

Can we have some beer now?

[Valleysboy1978]

Now that the warm-ups done, what's next?

[wossname]

Gosh, advanced classes so soon?

Sit on the floor with your toes up under your chin, knees together, thighs flat on the floor. Arms out to the back, shoulders should be relaxed and tensed at the same time. Maintain this position until the ambulance arrives.

On the way into hospital try to hold your breath until you feel a sharp pain accross your chest, almost like a defibrilator. Then breath normally.

Resist the ambulance staff and shout obscene abuse at all the nurses. Pick a patient at random and run at top speed pushing their bed in front of you. Don't stop for toddlers on dialysis, there's plenty of them anyway.

This is excellent cardio-aerobic excersise and should have you fit in no time at all.

[Valleysboy1978]

Can I not just find a fit nurse and $hag her in a spare bed? Surely that is a good cardio vascular work out?

[wossname]

Can I not just find a fit nurse and $hag her in a spare bed? Surely that is a good cardio vascular work out?

A spare bed? On the NHS?? Good luck mate!

[Valleysboy1978]

If need be I'll push some granny out of her bed and tell her to get lost

[ayan]

:ehehehehehe:

Awesome thread

[BodwadUK]

Can I be the hero that saves and sleeps with the fit nurse

[wossname]

Welcome class, today we will be doing a spot of high-speed Tai-Chi.

I find it helps to have a Drum and Bass compilation CD playing in the background. Stand about 2 metres away from your neighbour, and begin the traditional movements at 8 times normal speed. This should continue for about 2 hours. The last person to collapse from exhaustion gets a free lesson next time. This builds on balance, stamina and pain threshold.

Do not operate heavy machinery for at least 2 days afterwards.

[Valleysboy1978]

Can I be the hero that saves and sleeps with the fit nurse

Not a problem, but after I finish with her, so don't hold your breath

[Valleysboy1978]

Welcome class, today we will be doing a spot of high-speed Tai-Chi.

I find it helps to have a Drum and Bass compilation CD playing in the background. Stand about 2 metres away from your neighbour, and begin the traditional movements at 8 times normal speed. This should continue for about 2 hours. The last person to collapse from exhaustion gets a free lesson next time. This builds on balance, stamina and pain threshold.

Do not operate heavy machinery for at least 2 days afterwards.

High-speed Tai-Chi
Your class would last about 20 minutes Wossy, Tai-Chi is far from easy BECAUSE it is so slow. Try it

[wossname]

High-speed Tai-Chi
Your class would last about 20 minutes Wossy, Tai-Chi is far from easy BECAUSE it is so slow. Try it

Yeah but if you do it really fast then you get 8 times more excercise. Trust me I'm a professional coach.

Normal Tai Chi is for lazy monks. Do it fast. Bruce lee was really fast and look how hard he was.

Did you see that documentary about thim a few weeks ago? He was standing in front of some bloke in a normal stance and about zero nanoseconds later the other guy was flying through the air. his foot was moving so fast he actually missed a TV camera frame, that is FAST. What a guy.

[Valleysboy1978]

Mr Lee had the martial arts perfected. That's why his style, Jeet Kune Do, is regarded as the best in the world.
Think of it this way:
Force = Mass x Acceleration

As he pointed out, the mass of your fist/body never changes much to make a difference. Therefore, it must be the acceleration OF your fist that creates the force. That is why he developed to be fast, not strong. That way he could throw more powerful punches/kicks.
It's all about speed and technique. Hard hitting is just a by-product of them

[mendhak]

OK guys, singlehanded-handstand pushups, left arm first...

And a one
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Rhythm is the key as we open up the door. Rhythm is the key as we open up the door.

[wossname]

Mr Lee had the martial arts perfected. That's why his style, Jeet Kune Do, is regarded as the best in the world.
Think of it this way:
Force = Mass x Acceleration

As he pointed out, the mass of your fist/body never changes much to make a difference. Therefore, it must be the acceleration OF your fist that creates the force. That is why he developed to be fast, not strong. That way he could throw more powerful punches/kicks.
It's all about speed and technique. Hard hitting is just a by-product of them

My god! what a visionary, he discovered simple mechanics! And only a few hundred years after Isaac Newton. :rofl: So you are saying he invented hitting people really hard?

[visualAd]

Being a martial art, if you speed Tai Chi up, it becomes a lethal defence tool.


Hey, wossy, if you get them to stand close enough they'll all kill each other.

[Valleysboy1978]

My god! what a visionary, he discovered simple mechanics! And only a few hundred years after Isaac Newton. :rofl: So you are saying he invented hitting people really hard?

No, but he did realise the association between simple physics and martial arts.
Let me ask you this, would you have fought him?

[wossname]

Bruce Lee was a big girl's blouse.

I fought him on many occasions, you know that scene when Chuck Norris was fighting him? Well I was Norris's double for the whole sequence, I had to go easy on Lee because I kept knocking him out. I had to slap Norris about a bit too.

Jackie Chan is my student at the Ah' Sol Dojo. He is rude, but reckless and undisciplined, He is a strong fighter but a carefully placed insult during a fight will have him beaten.

Jet Li, hah what a joke. He can do no harm without a crane and some 'invisible' wires so he can jump 50 foot in the air. I can do that without wires.

I pwnz BruC3 |_33 !!!!1!111!!

[wossname]

I also taught him "Never take you eyes off your opponent, even when you bow." 'Cos I nutted him once when I had finished our training session.