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Thread: Why do Americans

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    New Member PineyWoodsJimbo's Avatar
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    Why do Americans

    Why do Americans beat themselves up for the stupid things they do when the rest of the world just says "Oh well, they had it coming" when they dump on others?

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    Addicted Member MasterBlaster's Avatar
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    It's the damn canadians. The Canadian campaign intended to complete the Pu$$ification of the United States is almost complete. Be prepared, those beady eyed little basterds are getting ready to invade us. And you have South Park and Superior American Hockey players to blame for it. Glad I built my bomb shelter* at least i'll have somewhere to go when they storm the border with Molsen Bottles and hockey sticks.




    * Said bomb shelter was built using recycled materials that were produced in a environmentally safe way. No children or senior citizens were used in the construction of said bomb shelter. Shelter was assembeled using workers of multiple religous and ethnik backgrounds who give their kids time out instead of whopping their stoopid butts with a leather belt.
    "And most of the evils of society can, in fact, be cured through information. We have a society that has been disinformed and based on the disinformation has made irrational choices. And that's what I mean by 'ignorance.' People, who ordinarily might be smart, are deprived of the data by which to make a rational decision, don't have the data to do it."
    Frank Zappa

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    Ah - the invasion has been delayed a week. one of our Huskies got sick.

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    quote by PineyWoodsJimbo
    Why do Americans beat themselves up for the stupid things they do when the rest of the world just says "Oh well, they had it coming" when they dump on others?
    Because for the past 50 years America prided itself on it's moral credibility to take the leading initiatives overseas.
    If you continue to ask stupid questions, I might write a poem to make it clearer.
    ballbuster

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    Talking


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    Lively Member Xcoder's Avatar
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    Originally posted by ballbuster
    Because for the past 50 years America prided itself on it's moral credibility to take the leading initiatives overseas.
    If you continue to ask stupid questions, I might write a poem to make it clearer.
    please do.
    Last edited by Xcoder : 09-10-2001 at 12:45 AM.

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    Fanatic Member ahara's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ex-FB
    Ah - the invasion has been delayed a week. one of our Huskies got sick.
    That's OK though....it will allow for further training:

    "Knowledge is gained when different people look at the same information in different ways"

    - Louis Pasteur

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    Hyperactive Member Maven's Avatar
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    Originally posted by MasterBlaster
    It's the damn canadians. The Canadian campaign intended to complete the Pu$$ification of the United States is almost complete. Be prepared, those beady eyed little basterds are getting ready to invade us. And you have South Park and Superior American Hockey players to blame for it. Glad I built my bomb shelter* at least i'll have somewhere to go when they storm the border with Molsen Bottles and hockey sticks.




    * Said bomb shelter was built using recycled materials that were produced in a environmentally safe way. No children or senior citizens were used in the construction of said bomb shelter. Shelter was assembeled using workers of multiple religous and ethnik backgrounds who give their kids time out instead of whopping their stoopid butts with a leather belt.
    I think Robin Williams described canada the best: "Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party".
    Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. - Oscar Wilde

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    Fanatic Member ahara's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Maven
    I think Robin Williams described canada the best: "Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party".
    er...shouldn't that be...."WITH a really great party"???


    (have a beer eh)
    "Knowledge is gained when different people look at the same information in different ways"

    - Louis Pasteur

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    Shhhhhhhhhhh! We don't want them crashing it, stealing all the good beer and leaving budweiser behind

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    Frenzied Member yrwyddfa's Avatar
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    (Why do Americans) exist?

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    Hyperactive Member mudfish's Avatar
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    B/c we got tried of the European crap and started our own place!
    Or the official line taxation with out representation!
    Mudfish AKA Bowfin
    I can spell "If" all day right, just a coder!


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    Frenzied Member yrwyddfa's Avatar
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    Just asking! I was under the impression it was a test-tube experiment gone wrong.

    Clearly I was wrong.

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    Hyperactive Member mudfish's Avatar
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    Originally posted by yrwyddfa
    Just asking! I was under the impression it was a test-tube experiment gone wrong.

    Clearly I was wrong.
    That what you think of us, may be we where wrong 60 years ago!
    Mudfish AKA Bowfin
    I can spell "If" all day right, just a coder!


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    Addicted Member MasterBlaster's Avatar
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    Originally posted by yrwyddfa
    (Why do Americans) exist?
    Our purpose in life is clearly to annoy the Canadians and Europeeons.
    "And most of the evils of society can, in fact, be cured through information. We have a society that has been disinformed and based on the disinformation has made irrational choices. And that's what I mean by 'ignorance.' People, who ordinarily might be smart, are deprived of the data by which to make a rational decision, don't have the data to do it."
    Frank Zappa

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    Originally posted by MasterBlaster
    Our purpose in life is clearly to annoy the Canadians and Europeeons.
    Nah - Americans exist to protect Canada. But don't tell 'em, we don't want them wising up to us....

  17. #17
    Addicted Member MasterBlaster's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Ex-FB
    Nah - Americans exist to protect Canada. But don't tell 'em, we don't want them wising up to us....
    Protect them from who? Mexico or other Canadians? I've seen some pretty crazy Mexi-Canadians after a few pints of molson canadian and some Toronto cheesey bread. They kept yelling "Arribba it's aboot time to fore check that loco hombre eh.
    "And most of the evils of society can, in fact, be cured through information. We have a society that has been disinformed and based on the disinformation has made irrational choices. And that's what I mean by 'ignorance.' People, who ordinarily might be smart, are deprived of the data by which to make a rational decision, don't have the data to do it."
    Frank Zappa

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    The mexicans...... We don't want them coming up here and stealing all our snow

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    Originally posted by mudfish
    That what you think of us, may be we where wrong 60 years ago!
    I'm trying to resist it, but i can't..........

    Yeah, you were wrong approx 6 decades ago (IMHO) when you remained a "peace at all costs" Neutral country. Of course, you finally got attacked as the axis opened up it's new front in the whole "world domination" thing. Luckily, you seem to have wised up after that and joined the good fight....

  20. #20
    Frenzied Member yrwyddfa's Avatar
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    Buckingham Palace
    14th November 2000


    NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE


    To the residents of the United States of America:


    In view of your abject failure to elect a President and thus to govern yourselves, We give hereby Notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective today at Five O'Clock Greenwich Mean Time.

    Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume sovereign duties forthwith over all states, commonwealths and other territories, with the notable exception of Florida, which Shall be returned to His Illustrious Catholic Majesty, King Juan Carlos of Spain.

    Your new Prime Minister (The Rt. Hon Tony Blair, for the 98.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will suggest to Her Majesty a Governor-General for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following are introduced with immediate effect:

    1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing these words. In general, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (Look up "vocabulary").Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. (Look up "interspersed").

    2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.

    3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that difficult.

    4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast British actors as the good guys.

    5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

    6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good term. The 1.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armor). We are hoping to get together at least an American rugby sevens side by 2005.

    7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys.

    8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in the British Empire. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

    9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When We show you German cars, you will understand what We mean.

    10. Please tell Us who killed JFK. It's been driving Us crazy.

    Thank you for your cooperation.


    Welcome back,

    HRM Elizabeth II

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    Lively Member CORONA BEER's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mudfish

    B/c we got tried of the European crap and started our own place!

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    Hyperactive Member mudfish's Avatar
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    2. There is no such thing as "U.S. English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
    Mudfish AKA Bowfin
    I can spell "If" all day right, just a coder!


    "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." -- Ernest Hemingway

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