Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

[barrk]

VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.


GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.


SENATOR LIEBERMAN: I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way.


SECRETARY CHENEY: Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.


RALPH NADER: Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.


PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.


JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it - the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken, or have a relationship with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please? What was the "Chick" in question about?


DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.


MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.


GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.


SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


X-FILES AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?


FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity, and secret desire to choke the chicken.


BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of a Chicken.


EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?


LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.


THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

[Allen Schoessler]

I have given the question of why the chicken crossed the road much thought, and have come up with the following answer:

Because he was scared!

HAHAHAHAHA!

[Bjwbell]

Great one barrk.

[tumblingdown]

to get up to some adventures on the other side ;-)


td.

To get away from the Kentuckians after seeing what they did to the sheep.



Nice one babe.....loved it.....fell over laughing a couple of times.....

[CyberSurfer]

/finks we should have a Humour Guru category, and give it to barrk!

[HarryW]

Careful CyberSurfer, you'll get td all adventurous with language like that

[Gaffer]

A chicken & an egg are lying in bed.........
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a
satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and
says..... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

[zmerlinz]

very funny, so the chicken did come first, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

*Merlin rolls around floor in fits of histeria, then sits in the corner of a dark room gentley rocking backwards and fowards humming to himself*

[CyberSurfer]

Wupps!

<shudders at the possibilities of an adveturous td>

[Gaffer]

Easy Merlin, easy. Calm down and have nice cup of tea, old boy....

It has been reported that the Japanese government have shipped 40 tons of Viagra to the the US Government. When asked about the reasoning behind this action, their spokesman said: "We hear they have ploblems with their elections"

[zmerlinz]

i am ok now i think

*sits there with eyes wide open and gritting teeth*

[barrk]

Is adventurous the new word or what???

[CyberSurfer]

That's a very adventurous thing to say, barrk, you adventurous adventurer you!

[barrk]

Help me!!!!!! I am sooooo bored I can hardly stand it. There are only a few of us here today. So far we've discussed drinks the guys had in Germany when they were stationed there, incompetent people we used to work with, the merits of buying name brand cigs instead of generic brand....what's next?

[Edited by barrk on 11-22-2000 at 01:51 PM]

[barrk]

what's up? i'm sorry i was such a cyberslut yesterday....is that why there's no one talking today???Actually, I take that back...I'm not sorry. I had a good time and my husband (after I told him all about it and the fun that followed) said to tell you guys thank you. So there!

[Edited by barrk on 11-22-2000 at 03:36 PM]

[tumblingdown]

hey adventurous one, hows it hanging (or should that be swinging;-)


td

[barrk]

I'm okay! Just bored out of my mind. How 'bout you? I hope you realize that I am really just a normal person who happens to have an odd sex life. Not an odd person.

[barrk]

Actually if what dennis says is true and 95% of you guys think that way then Tom and I aren't as weird as I thought anyway!

[tumblingdown]

how ever you get your groove on, always remember thats it has to be better than being an odd person with no sex life ;-)

As far as that 95% thing goes, personaly i would have said it was all men, or at least all men with a pulse. Ask Tom. Think about it...one fella, two girls (preferably swedish, hopefully sisters;-)...come on!

i'm feeling somewhat wired at the mo, just starting in on my second all nighter in a row.


td.

[barrk]

We have four days off over here starting today. Time is slipping very slowly by. It's only one o'clock and I can't leave until four. I only have one cube mate here with me today and we've run out of things to talk about.

[tumblingdown]

coding the night fantastic is cool, but during the day as well sucks.


td

[barrk]

What are you working on??

[tumblingdown]

we have a roll out on friday, and i have about four days work to fit into two. It's a framework that calcs certain aspects of derivatives risk.


td.

[barrk]

Well, I'll leave you to it then. Chat at ya on Monday if not later today!