Just humor

[TysonLPrice]

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3.. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

[techgnome]

"Recent expo" my arse.... this has been around since Win95 first came out.....

Set objHumor = Nothing
Set objHumor = New Material
objHumor.Update


TG

[TysonLPrice]

I appreciate the help you been but...

Dim x As String
Dim y As String
x = "ayGqfq!kwitappfewwwlqq oqyyeffff"
y = Mid(x, 3, 1) & Mid(x, 16, 1) _
& Mid(x, 11, 1) & Mid(x, 23, 1) & Mid(x, 1, 1) _
& Mid(x, 23, 1) & Mid(x, 20, 1) & Mid(x, 10, 1) _
& Mid(x, 5, 1) & Mid(x, 16, 1) & Mid(x, 7, 1)

[dis1411]

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

hahaha

[Richard_Branson]

Several people have asked for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the
following analogies will help clear it up:



You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say,"I'm fantastic
in bed."

-- That's Direct Marketing.



You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of
your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in
bed."

-- That's Advertising.



You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone
number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Telemarketing.



You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your
dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink.You say, "May I?" and reach
up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and
then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Public Relations.



You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, "I
hear you're fantastic in bed."

-- That's Brand Recognition.



You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home
with your friend.

-- That's a Sales Rep.



Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

-- That's Tech Support.



You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the
roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs,
"I'm fantastic in bed!"

-- That's Spam.


Yours in Marketing !!!

Richard Branson