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Thread: How to stay safe in the world today

  1. #1

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    Cool How to stay safe in the world today

    1. Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20% of all fatal accidents.

    2. Do not stay home because 17% of all accidents occur in the home.

    3. Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14% of all accidents occur to pedestrians.

    4. Avoid traveling by air, rail or water because 16% of all accidents involve these forms of transportation.

    5. Of the remaining 33%, 32% of all deaths occur in Hospitals. Above all else, avoid hospitals.

    You will be pleased to learn that only .001% of all deaths occur in worship services in church, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is at church!

    Bible study is safe too. The percentage of deaths during Bible study is even less.

    FOR SAFETY'S SAKE - Attend church and read your Bible - IT COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE

  2. #2
    Fanatic Member evexa's Avatar
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    I still havent figured out if you are serious or not.
    Trust no one

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    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    I hate forwarded emails. I especially hate forwarded emails posted on forums.

  4. #4
    The Devil crptcblade's Avatar
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    I hate forwarded emails posted on forums that are about religious bull crap.
    Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you just water down your vodka.


    Take credit, not responsibility

  5. #5
    Frenzied Member Zaei's Avatar
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    1. Shoot yourself in the head. Then you dont have to worry about anything else =)

    Z.

  6. #6

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    Originally posted by Zaei
    1. Shoot yourself in the head. Then you dont have to worry about anything else =)

    Z.
    Yeah? You would live to regret that decision for eternity.

  7. #7
    Fanatic Member evexa's Avatar
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    Hey now be nice!
    He didnt force any of you to post in this thread! Its ok to be religious.
    Trust no one

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    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    Originally posted by evexa
    Hey now be nice!
    He didnt force any of you to post in this thread! Its ok to be religious.
    Yeah, but it's not OK to post forwarded emails about religious bull****. It's just blasphemy!

  9. #9
    Fanatic Member evexa's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mendhak
    Yeah, but it's not OK to post forwarded emails about religious bull****. It's just blasphemy!
    We post forwarded emails about all sorts of things. If he wants to give his opinion he can! We dont have to read it.
    Trust no one

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  10. #10
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    I think I need to work a bit more on my sarcasm delivery mechanism.

  11. #11
    Fanatic Member evexa's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mendhak
    I think I need to work a bit more on my sarcasm delivery mechanism.
    i detected it but wasnt sure so i put a winky face at the end to account for both cases
    Trust no one

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  12. #12
    Fanatic Member siyan's Avatar
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    On a more serious note, religious study has caused a rather large number of deaths. The holocaust, the crusades, the burning of Christians in Rome, crazy people who light themselves on fire, the sacrifices in Indonesia (I think thats the place), and of course the whole issue of that ongoing Arab vs. Israeli war....

    So yeah, go to church guys.
    Unite, proletariat!

  13. #13
    Fanatic Member evexa's Avatar
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    Originally posted by siyan
    On a more serious note, religious study has caused a rather large number of deaths. The holocaust, the crusades, the burning of Christians in Rome, crazy people who light themselves on fire, the sacrifices in Indonesia (I think thats the place), and of course the whole issue of that ongoing Arab vs. Israeli war....

    So yeah, go to church guys.
    You have to differentiate between extremist and religious.

    We all have our own personal 'religion' and its ok to share what you feel. But yeah - organized religions can get out of hand.
    Trust no one

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  14. #14
    Fanatic Member siyan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by evexa
    You have to differentiate between extremist and religious.

    We all have our own personal 'religion' and its ok to share what you feel. But yeah - organized religions can get out of hand.
    True. I haven't thought about it enough but I don't think very many members of the Isreali Army or the Arab armies or whatnot consider themselves extremist. Heck the leaders of the countries probably dont' consider themseleves too hardcore. Neither did all those European kings during the crusades. And so on and so forth.

    But yeah, you have a point. Lots of stuff is caused by the extremists....
    Unite, proletariat!

  15. #15
    Fanatic Member evexa's Avatar
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    Originally posted by siyan
    True. I haven't thought about it enough but I don't think very many members of the Isreali Army or the Arab armies or whatnot consider themselves extremist. Heck the leaders of the countries probably dont' consider themseleves too hardcore. Neither did all those European kings during the crusades. And so on and so forth.

    But yeah, you have a point. Lots of stuff is caused by the extremists....
    I dont want to get into this conversation lol
    Trust no one

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  16. #16
    Fanatic Member siyan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by evexa
    I dont want to get into this conversation lol
    And neither do I.
    Unite, proletariat!

  17. #17
    Fanatic Member JPicasso's Avatar
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    disorganized religions are pretty bad too!



    J4U, where did you get those numbers?

    I think they are a little suspect. And the conclusion is just, well, silly.
    Merry Christmas

  18. #18

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    Originally posted by JPicasso
    And the conclusion is just, well, silly.
    You know the Bible says that anything that relates to spiritual things, like what I posted above, is silliness to those who are perishing.

    From 1 Corinthians 1:18:

    "I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are on the road to destruction. But we who are being saved recognize this message as the very power of God."


    I have been trying to be more subtle and humerous these days regarding spiritual things...

  19. #19
    Member chenko's Avatar
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    Jesus is my love child, Mary was not a virgin


    jesus4u,
    Go on, convert me, prove "god" ...

  20. #20
    Addicted Member run_GMoney's Avatar
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    "I know how foolish religion looks to normal people. These people are right."

    - an exerpt from 1 Gary-inthians 4:15

    And so it was written...
    Place Your VBForums Ad Here

  21. #21

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    Originally posted by chenko2
    Jesus is my love child, Mary was not a virgin


    jesus4u,
    Go on, convert me, prove "god" ...

    I don't need to. Either you will choose to believe or not.

  22. #22
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    Originally posted by chenko2

    mendhak,
    Go on, convert me, prove "god" ...

    You know how when you take your clothes out of a dryer, and there's that one sock missing? Where does it go?

  23. #23
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    "and these are usually related to previous physical disorders."

    shouldn't we say that about the hospital? or are hospitals just massive death camps

    "Yeah? You would live to regret that decision for eternity."

    I don't think he'd live to regret anything

  24. #24
    Fanatic Member JPicasso's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jesus4u

    I have been trying to be more subtle and humerous these days regarding spiritual things...
    Fair 'nuff.

    Merry Christmas

  25. #25

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    Thank you sir!

  26. #26
    Fanatic Member siyan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by mendhak
    You know how when you take your clothes out of a dryer, and there's that one sock missing? Where does it go?
    *coughs*

    *waves*
    Unite, proletariat!

  27. #27
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! kleinma's Avatar
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    according to George Carlin.. more people have died in the name of god than for anything else...

    so how safe is it again???

  28. #28
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    yeah the jews have had pretty bad luck with that stuff

  29. #29
    Hyperactive Member Paul Warren's Avatar
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    jesus4u, couple of questions for you -

    1. What if I believe in God but not in an organised religion like Christianity? Am I still damned to go to hell, even though I believe in God?

    2. Why do I have to believe in Jesus to believe in God?


    ??
    That's Mr Mullet to you, you mulletless wonder.

  30. #30

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    Originally posted by Paul Warren
    jesus4u, couple of questions for you -

    1. What if I believe in God but not in an organised religion like Christianity? Am I still damned to go to hell, even though I believe in God?

    2. Why do I have to believe in Jesus to believe in God?


    ??
    In a quick few sentences:

    1. Ask yourself which God? There are many Gods but only that is real. But it was Jesus who said that HE is the way, the truth, and the life and that He is the only way to God. Why? Jesus is the only one that actually took your place in Hell by dying on the Roman cross for your offences against God so that you could live.

    2. Answered also in #1.

  31. #31
    Hyperactive Member Paul Warren's Avatar
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    and why isn't faith in God enough? Why do I have to follow a set of rules to qualify for membership?
    That's Mr Mullet to you, you mulletless wonder.

  32. #32
    Fanatic Member JPicasso's Avatar
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    Hey dude,

    Members only. The hottest new fashion.
    Merry Christmas

  33. #33

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    Originally posted by Paul Warren
    and why isn't faith in God enough? Why do I have to follow a set of rules to qualify for membership?
    Again which God? And it is not a set of rules. Think of it this way: God has given you a gift and all He asks is that you receive it. Are you going to receive it or turn it away?

  34. #34
    Hyperactive Member Paul Warren's Avatar
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    But surely there's only one God? That's what the bible says therefore I must believe in the one true god.

    So tell me again why I have to believe in Jesus?
    That's Mr Mullet to you, you mulletless wonder.

  35. #35

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    Originally posted by Paul Warren
    But surely there's only one God? That's what the bible says therefore I must believe in the one true god.

    So tell me again why I have to believe in Jesus?

    Jesus IS God He said that He was. And He proved it through many miracles and especially rising from the dead after His crucifixion.

  36. #36
    Hyperactive Member Paul Warren's Avatar
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    What I'm saying is that I'll accept God whether he's Christian, Muslim, or whatever. I just believe there's a God. According to you though he won't accept me because I don't believe in Jesus.

    ...and there's your problem. I have faith in God not the church.
    That's Mr Mullet to you, you mulletless wonder.

  37. #37

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    Originally posted by Paul Warren
    What I'm saying is that I'll accept God whether he's Christian, Muslim, or whatever. I just believe there's a God. According to you though he won't accept me because I don't believe in Jesus.

    ...and there's your problem. I have faith in God not the church.
    With all due respect this is where most people get confused. I am NOT telling you to believe in a church but rather that you follow the Jesus of the Bible. It is really that simple but it is man that makes it very difficult. Jesus said himself that to follow Him is not difficult and it is not a burden. But you have to realize His sacrifice for you which is the GIFT I mentioned earlier.


  38. #38
    Let me in .. techyspecy's Avatar
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    Well - How about GODs of other religion's, are they not GODs according to your definition of GOD ?

  39. #39

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    Originally posted by techyspecy
    Well - How about GODs of other religion's, are they not GODs according to your definition of GOD ?
    Sorry but no

  40. #40
    Let me in .. techyspecy's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jesus4u
    Sorry but no
    you need a life
    BTW - mind telling me why not ?

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