Any horror stories??

[barrk]

In honor of Friday the 13th and a full moon falling on the same day today, I thought I'd see if anyone has had anything happen to them yet today.

[Sophtware]

Well i am still broke..thats horrible enough

[JPRoy392]

Well this one time, at band camp, our leader dressed up like a madman with a hockey mask. It was really scary though I thought it couldn't have been "Jason".

And this other time, at band camp, we had hamburgers and the meat was old and green and we got sick. But that is more of a disgusting story than a scary one.

And another time, at band camp, this guy named "Joe", stuck his flute up his butt and made a really scary noise. Kinda sounded like a cow dying.



.....gotta love American Pie

[barrk]

I did that band camp thing too...The scariest thing I remember is the bad trumpet jokes.

What do trumpet players use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."

What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

In case you can't tell...I'm a trumpet player and I'm broke. What a bummer!

[Sophtware]

I am a drummer and i am broke as well...

God knows i have heard enough drummer jokes

[parksie]

Okay then...so here's a trombonist joke:

What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead trombonist in the road?
























































Skid marks in front of the snake.

[barrk]

I know you said you'd heard enough but here are two of my favorites!

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.

Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

[parksie]

Don't dis drummers...I used to (almost) be one

And yes, I am a trumpeter...

[barrk]

I'm not dis'n drummers....I was dis'n all us band geeks in general. I'm glad I'm not the only one is all. Come on..say it with me....I'M A BAND GEEK AND PROUD OF IT!!!

[HarryW]

You're a band geek and proud of it (for some reason)

[barrk]

I have worked very hard to learn my art. I have practiced and I am now at a point where I'm not the only one who finds my talent enjoyable. I am very proud of what I have achieved and that as they say is that!

[JPRoy392]

Honestly, I'm not a band geek, I just like American Pie. Was band camp really like that? I was a "soccer bunny" and I used to get my ass kicked by the football players. For all you Brit's, we Yankees call your "football" "soccer". To play our "football" you need far less brains.
But that was a long time ago. Now my favorite sport is seeing how many Sam Adams I can drink before I pass out.


Happy hour is 19 minutes away!

[HarryW]

Yeah we call it soccer sometimes too, but not very often. Is it actually popular in the US? Not judging by the US national football team

[JPRoy392]

Soccer was only ok to play but Americans find it impossible to watch. You could have an entire game go on with only one goal being scored. What's up with that? When Americans watch sports, we need a reason to get our asses off of the couch and cheer. If there is only one goal every 90 minutes, what's the use in watching?

3 minutes until happy hour.

[HarryW]

Fair enough, I personally can't see the attraction of baseball, but it seems pretty popular over there. You even call it the 'World series' which confuses me because it only involves North America.

[barrk]

A much better sport all the way around. The thing about being a band geek is I can play the trumpet and drink Sam Adams both at the same time without injuring myself. Can't drink as much as I'd like and survive a game of football (american)

Baseball sucks!!!

when I played, I was hit so many times it's not even funny...
in the nuts, in the face, in the head, in the back, oy I hate that game.....
Baseball sucks
soccer sucks
football sucks
basketball sucks

I played soccer when I was like 6, and I didn't like it.. too boring,
played football when I was 7, had to practice every day... and I was on defense... I didn't get any credit for anything I did... and I never played basketball, but I hate that anyway....

[Sophtware]

Damn barrk that first joke hurt..hehe it was like a stab at my soul and **** j/k


My take on music:
I love music...and the drums rule!!hehehe
Ok i will be the first too say this about my own kind.

"Any drummer is a egomaniacal *******..they have the biggest ego's in the WORLD!!! I am surprised there heads dont upset there center of balance!!"

Ok enough trash talk.But i know what i am saying..since i am a drummer after all.I have seen some drummers actually talk about themselves! and when i hear them i feel like slapping them .


Ok serious now, i love too drum..and i also love too play live shows.. but my achillies heel is playing a live show with lots of people in the audience...the most people that i have played live in front of is 250 people.
Now you might think that 250 people inst alot..but it seems like 2500 people when you are on stage and there is a 100 degree light being shined in your direction..i get nervous as hell .

But the best part about playing live shows...is when your band finish a song..and people clap for you!! i mean they clap like they really mean it!! and when the pit for you or even when your music makes some of them fight! haha especially with the type of music my band plays.

I had a golden opportunity too actually make something of my drumming ****... after a gig i played with some alternative band..this guy in a mercedes was in his car wiht other people and he called me too his car and asked if i wanted too be his "studio drummer" hehe i was like "hell yeah", but like the dumbass that i am..when he asked for my phone number i said like a ****ing idiot "Um i dont have a pen..just get it from one of the guys in the band" GRRRRRRRRRRR Needless to say i never played in no studio hehe..oh well i guess it just wasnt meant o be



Now with reading all of this crap i typed..see what i mean about how drummers talk about themselves too much


Damn i had a funny bass player joke..but i cant remember it right now..but just you bass players wait..i will remember it


My take on sports:




I hate most sports... when i was small though i dreamed of being a baseball player... i even day dreamed of being the guy who hit that desperatly need home run at the bottom of the ninth.... then reality struck me in the face and it was in the form of a softball

Footbal..****.. i never seen so many people get so excited over a game... take a friend of mine for example... i was at his house and he was watching one of the oakland Raiders games, then all of a sudden the raider defense blocked a punt by the other team...and my friend exploded and screamed as loud as he could "YEAAAAAHHHHH WOOOOOOOHOOOOO!!"
and went outside his house and screamed. and i was like "Ok..big deal...".But i guess you have to be a fan too appreciate it.My dad went to a raider game back in the early 80's..back when the raiders were in los angeles
and he had too fight his way out of the l.a. coliseum.


Basketball.. that is the only sport i would consider likeing.
It is just cool too fake out the guy who is defending the court and then just shoot it in the hoop.
The team l like right now is the la lakers, even though kobe bryant is a wolrd class ball hog that gets paid WAAAAAAYY to much, he still shows his worth.
Then there's Shaq big ass monster shag..what is he like 7'1?
300lbs?Even though his facial expressions look retarded, he deserved those m.v.p. awards.


Hockey.... hehehe i can just go outside my house and start a fight and get the same results.

Soccer is boring too watch..but it is fun too play...you get noo time too rest..your just moving and moving..kool.
But the one reason that i dont like soccer is because when i was small...me and my buddies used too go to a local park too play baseball..and the stupid asses that played soccer would hog the whole field.


Golf? !!!! I would like too know the person that said golf was a sport...







[Edited by Sophtware on 10-13-2000 at 11:37 PM]

[dimava]

Dennis:


I agree with you on baseball (I'm not a big fan of it) but whats bad about the other sports, to me it just seams that your not a sports person, do u like ANY phisical sports (i had to put phisical because you'd be Smart and post "checkers")

Checkers is physical..

I don't recall moving the pieces with my mind....


Chess is my favorite sport......

Soccer is boring too watch..but it is fun too play...you get noo time too rest..your just moving and moving..kool.
But the one reason that i dont like soccer is because when i was small...me and my buddies used too go to a local park too play baseball..and the stupid asses that played soccer would hog the whole field.

yeah, the dumb****s who always play soccer(I won't mention who, because then I would be called raciast, but you all know who) hog up all the field...
but I paid a few back... while the <ahem> people were playing soccer, I was launching some "Estes Rockets"
they are black powder powered rockets, they go pretty far...

Well,
I was about to push the button, and the launch pad fell over, and then I pushed the button before realizing it fell,
then the rocket launched, and unbeleivably, the rocket knocked the ball from someones feet... and this is the really unbeleivable, yet funny part... the rocket hit some guy in the nuts as the ejection charge shot out....

Man.. I feel sorry for that guy, I hope he was wearing a cup.....

[HarbringerOfVole]

Hey! Nothing going with the threatened bassist jokes..The bass is a cool instrument, (but possiblly without the strum, so thus a cool inent, so there!) I play bass (badly!), but hopefully, when I get my f***ing amp fixed, I will be able to hear what I play, (Also not allowed to play at my halls, so thus didn't bring the accursed thing with me, there is some stupid rule about no amplified inents ) Anyway, you might as well tell us the bassist joke, if you can remember it, but as you are a drummer, I'm probably safe!

[HarryW]

No amplified instruments? Just take up the tuba then, I'm sure noone will mind

[parksie]

Nah...try a Sousaphone instead

[Sophtware]

But at least i can be HEARD when i play my instrument.

At least i aint no body's backbone ..hehe all you bass players do is give the gutiar players music "heavyness"

Might as well call yourself "the third thumb" ..hehe you arent wanted...lol

Did any leads yet harbinger!! HAHAHAHA of course not!! all you do is make the guitar player look good.

Hmm.. i think i will bring that up the next time me and my band mates are together... i am going too look right at our bass player and ask him "dude what is your purpose"
"Do you do any leads?" and oh yeah "Hey arent you supposed too be playing along with THE DRUMMER instead of the guitar player!" hehe bass... a shameful instrument too play. ;0 j/k

Harbinger...why dont you take those thick ass bass strings
and use them as dental floss and hang yourself with them after words...hehe bass sucks..besides i wouldnt want too play an instrument that reminds me of fish.

Another thing about bass players.. is that they never say a damn thing...i havent met a bass player that talks much..it's like you people are ashamed of what you are playing..it's ok, or are you bass players still thinking ..still trying... too come up with that perfect bass lead HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Hey dude what kind of bass do you play? fender i bet huh?
hahaha fender... with that crappy 3 inch tall ****ing monster applifier huh? haha.

Just joking of course













"Still going for ******* of the year award"

Horror Story - Friday 13th

Ok charged down three schooners at the pub, then decided l best pick up the alcohal for friday drinks.........aaarrggghhh tripped over and smashed a bottle of Yalumba Signature.......

Dennis

Your right the only decent sport is Rugby Union the game they play in heaven

JPRoy392

And l don't wanna know what you did with your flute at music camp. Yes the movie was pretty funny.

[PRIVATE1]

Originally posted by denniswrenn
Baseball sucks!!!

when I played, I was hit so many times it's not even funny...
in the nuts, in the face, in the head, in the back, oy I hate that game.....
Baseball sucks
soccer sucks
football sucks
basketball sucks

I played soccer when I was like 6, and I didn't like it.. too boring,
played football when I was 7, had to practice every day... and I was on defense... I didn't get any credit for anything I did... and I never played basketball, but I hate that anyway....

Sports do nothing but promote violence . It all boils down to who is stupid enough to get beat up the most . At least in boxing it's not disguised . They just stand there and punch till one falss down . Competition is Excellent but it sould involve the THOUGHT process . Wrestling or how ever you spell it , is just friggin' weird who in the world would want to watch big men in small pants other than "Rednecks" that want to be homosexual and can't admit it . Why do teachers make so little money for try to teach children skills and morals . Why are so many things still Illeagal in the united states ? Why is health care so much when it's free in other countries ?

So for bitching ,

[]P

[HarbringerOfVole]

Sophtware:
OooooOoooooo!!
Thems fighting words!
The bass does far more than supply vertabrea to the axeman, and I know of two bands in which there is no guitar players except bassists!(One of these has two bassists, so there!)
And also, I have never heard of 'Drum and Guitar', and when people try to sell clubs to ya, do they say 'Oh yeah, its got a thumping treble!'? (oh, and persoally, I think the more thumbs the better, and 4 would be nice!)
And what have you got against fish????????
And as for 'just followng the guitarist', have a listen to Flea occasionally, in my opinion one of the best bass players around, and tell me all he does is 'folow the guitar' HA!
As for the bass I play it is a Yamaha (yess, the make musical instuments as well!) and I have a 100 watt amp, with two 12 inch cones, so i would be quite impresive to see them stuffed into a 3 inch box, normally used, I persume for storing Drummers brains!!!(I mean all drummers, you'd lose just one of them in there!)
And come one, is hitting things with sticks any way to make a living? Come on, you might as well be a morris dancer, and wear one of those stupid cotumes (I bet you do, just under your normal clothes!)
I'll leave that there, as clearly I have exhausted my speaking quota for the entire year (maybe two) on this reply, and leave it to the oh so loquacious drummers to drivel on....

[Edited by HarbringerOfVole on 10-16-2000 at 02:48 PM]

[HarryW]

Come on, you might as well be a morris dancer

HAHAHAHAHAH ROFLMAO!!! : D : D : D HAHAHAHAHAH LOLOL!!

[parksie]

Wow...that was definitely acidic.

Anyway - I can't see why there's all this fighting about who's better - you need everyone or it'll sound like bollocks. (although the occasional virtuoso solo adds significantly)

[HarryW]

Yes but if they stop taking the piss out of each other it'll be no fun.

[parksie]

Good point...

RUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!

[HarbringerOfVole]

*HarbringerofVole, sucumbing to his baser urges (not those ones!!) runs up to Sophtware wielding his mighty bass!(but not his amp!)*
*Swinging it round in a wide arc, it connects with Sophtwares head, and takes it clean off, custard spurting libarlly from the wound!*
*Laughing maniacly, HarbringerofVole uses the custard to top off his triffle, which is very nice by the way, and offers a piece to everyone, including Sophtware, as a peace offering, hoping all is forgotten...*

[Sophtware]

*While i lay there in somewhat pain..i take out one of my drumsticks..and stab harbinger in his armpits with them and continue forcing the stick up his arm pit till it is protruding out of his shoulder and then i ripp his whole shoulder off*

There now we are even

Peace now...lol

Seriously though...i know of many good bass players...as you pointed out..flea is great i love what he does on "californication" and "one hot minute"

Also another kick ass bass player is Les claypool, and that is all i have too say about Les..if you dont know then you are missing out.

Also...there was this badd ass bass player name "Jaco pastorias" ..damn...he makes les claypool look like a beginner.Even on jacos last days before he died..he would have destroyed Les claypool without breaking a sweat.

Now i know you are saying "what can i get out of beating on a drum" but you just have no clue at all if you have too ask that.

I cant explain it..it is just awesome.


Better than playing with strings j/k.

[HarbringerOfVole]

Na, that's cool, I can sort of dig were ya coming from, and all those strings do get confusing!(All 4 of them lol!) Though they do come in handy if you need to garrote an elephant...Mmmmmmm
Anyway, on sport, I actually quite like it, but I prefer martial arts over footy(whichever version!) or baseball(Which i find fairly boring, but not as boring as cricket!) Boxing is quite good to, and amartuer wrestling, though the pro stuffs good for a laugh! Thai boxing is good, but a little viscious, and capioria has got to be one of the best to watch of any, really gracefull, though not a very effective self defense (Kicking someone whilst stood on one hand looks cool, but kneeing them in the knadgers usually works better.)
Anyway, I enjoy sport (not at a high level, just a kickaround with my mates, or something like that!), and think most people would, just don't take it too seriously!

[smh]

I closed on my first house on the 13th, so I like everyone else am also broke