Wombat
"I like to go to the schoolyard where i can watch the little kids jumping and screaming....but they dont know im using blanks"
"Before you set yourself on fire, remember to take off your shoes... nothing smells worse than burning rubber."
"They advertise that certain laundry detergents can take blood stains out of clothes, i say that if you have blood stains on your clothes, maybe your laundry is the least of your worries."
Sometimes when I'm driving around I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me: I'm not afraid of small children.
"My programs dont have bugs, they have random features" - MisianThrop
"The good thing about our ticket to the future is that it's always blank" - Trigun