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Oct 30th, 2002, 05:47 PM
#1
Thread Starter
Hyperactive Member
Jokes about programming languages
I have heard these two right now, but I'm sure there are more. I heard this one today from a programmer that used to be a friend:
Do you know what the best thing about C++ is? The best thing about C++ is that only your friends can handle your privates.
(For the people that don't get it: C++ has classes. There are public, private, and friend functions. Only friend functions(methods in the class) can alter private variables)
Here's another:
COBOL is a woman's language... Every line ends with a period.
Wierd fact: C is called C because it is a more modern/revised version of the B language. Is there an A? Maybe in a few years, we'll have D?
Post more:
Designer/Programmer of the Comtech Operating System(CTOS)
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Oct 30th, 2002, 06:23 PM
#2
Frenzied Member
yup there was an A 
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Oct 30th, 2002, 06:33 PM
#3
Thread Starter
Hyperactive Member
ASSembler? 
Designer/Programmer of the Comtech Operating System(CTOS)
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Oct 30th, 2002, 07:07 PM
#4
Frenzied Member
Re: Jokes about programming languages
Originally posted by Warmaster199
I have heard these two right now, but I'm sure there are more. I heard this one today from a programmer that used to be a friend:
Do you know what the best thing about C++ is? The best thing about C++ is that only your friends can handle your privates.
(For the people that don't get it: C++ has classes. There are public, private, and friend functions. Only friend functions(methods in the class) can alter private variables)
Here's another:
COBOL is a woman's language... Every line ends with a period.
Wierd fact: C is called C because it is a more modern/revised version of the B language. Is there an A? Maybe in a few years, we'll have D?
Post more:
And There is also a D http://www.digitalmars.com
Here is mine, though its not really a joke, just a good quote =)
"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration." - Dijkstra
Z.
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Oct 31st, 2002, 04:45 AM
#5
Retired VBF Adm1nistrator
Dijkstra.
Cool.
I had to study the dijkstra algorithm for the shortest path last year.
He works in the university of texas I believe
Microsoft MVP : Visual Developer - Visual Basic [2004-2005]
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Oct 31st, 2002, 05:35 AM
#6
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Oct 31st, 2002, 07:24 AM
#7
Monday Morning Lunatic
He's dead  Died a couple of months back.
I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
-- Linus Torvalds
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Oct 31st, 2002, 10:02 AM
#8
Originally posted by parksie
He's dead Died a couple of months back.
Dood! Beer's on me!
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Oct 31st, 2002, 11:30 AM
#9
Frenzied Member
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Nov 4th, 2002, 08:21 PM
#10
Hyperactive Member
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Nov 5th, 2002, 04:17 AM
#11
Frenzied Member
Q: What goes "Pieces of Seven, Pieces of Seven"?
A: Parity Error
apologies if I've already posted this....
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Nov 5th, 2002, 04:37 AM
#12
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Nov 5th, 2002, 07:30 AM
#13
Banned
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Nov 5th, 2002, 03:41 PM
#14
Thread Starter
Hyperactive Member
 - funny...
Designer/Programmer of the Comtech Operating System(CTOS)
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Nov 5th, 2002, 05:41 PM
#15
Fanatic Member
If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.
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Nov 5th, 2002, 07:49 PM
#16
Hyperactive Member
And Mirosoft
And my name was Juan Arlos Rey
Combat poverty: kill a poor!!
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Nov 5th, 2002, 08:34 PM
#17
Addicted Member
A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please". The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5,000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey-most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money." The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage.
He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff." The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000.
He gasps to the shop keeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
"Well," says the shopkeeper, "I don't know if it actually does anything, but says it's a Consultant."
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Nov 6th, 2002, 08:03 AM
#18
The original & best mother of programming jokes is the "shoot yourself in the foot one", has to be...
http://www.stanford.edu/~mmorten/per...-program.shtml
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Nov 6th, 2002, 08:05 AM
#19
Monday Morning Lunatic
Those became so much more funny for me when I learnt a couple of the languages on there
I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
-- Linus Torvalds
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