Jamie's sputum... update

[Jim Brown]

Jamie it's ages since you gave us the gory details of your spit's colour, consistency, bacterialogical constitution and so on. In the interests of public safety I think we have a right to know the current status.

[plenderj]

The sputum's just fine thank-you for asking.
I gozzy up a load every now and again, as everyone does, and its the good normal colour.

So ya know yellowy greeny.
Then ya know surrounded in saliva.
Also then from time to time there's the concentrated bit of crap in there, but not that often these days.

Everything's perfect these days.

Last major incident... um well when we were playing germany in the world cup and we got through (but so did they because of the points stuff), em well had about 6 or 7 pints of bulmers (cider) that night, um then a few glasses of champagne.
That much I remember.

Then I met my mother, and the two of us walked back to her house.
Dont remember any of that.
Then supossedly we went to a chipper on the way and I got a quarter pounder w/ cheese and some chips.
Dont remember that.
Then we walked from there home and I was singing the whole way.
Dont remember that.
Got to her place, and I made myself a vodka and coke.
Dont remember that.
We had dinner, I cleaned up, and made us both a cup of coffee.
Dont remember that.

What I do remember, is approaching the steps in front of our house and dying for a ****e.
I didnt really make it to the bathroom.
So I did diarrhoea all over myself, the hall, the bathroom floor, rim of the toilet, and then in the toilet itself.
then I um used the towel to clean the ****e off myself.

em.
then I sat down for some reason (in the diarrhoea on the floor), and fell asleep there.
i woke up sometime the next day, smelling of ****e.
and all my clothes were covered in ****e.

so that was time for a shower.


but anyway.
everything's been just plum dandy since

[Arbiter]

There's no hope for you....

[Jim Brown]

I'm kinda sorry I asked, now.

[DragonFly]

Thank you so much for sharing that Jamie




Once Jethro came home from the pub and hurled all over the bathroom... like everywhere.. hehe and I made him clean it up hehehe



He claimed it was a bad kebab...

[plenderj]

Actually.
There was an incident a few weeks ago.
I had a few pints of vodak and coke at home with anna.

She thought we were going at the same rate, but I had um, well sneaked one by before she started drinking.

So she started to feel sick after... about 4 of them.
So well yeah I was gone

[plenderj]

Funnily enough i talk about vbf when im just like gone.
So if im totally drunk and am half asleep and im asked stuff, from time to time i reply with totally stupid answers.

eg.
Anna: "Are you even listening to me ?"
Jamie: "Yeah ben said that he'd do that"

odd. very odd.

[plenderj]

bet ya regret asking now