Here's a joke...

[Jim Brown]

Dunno what made me think of this old one, but anyway....

Jewish Mama's on the beach with her 2 toddler boys. One gets knocked by a wave and starts to get pulled out of the shallows. she runs over to the lifeguard and yells "Help! Help! My son- the lawyer, not the dentist- this one's the dentist- is getting pulled out to sea!"

[gravyboy]

Groan.....

Three young lads called Manners, Shlit and FluckYou were playing on top of a wall. Shlit fell off the wall backwards and Manners went over to help him. Just then a copper happenned along and asked the remaining lad his name...

"FluckYou", came the reply as the lad beamed proudly....

Startled the copper raged "Where's your manners!?"...

"Behind the wall picking up Shlit".....

[Nightwalker83]

JOKE DEPOT

Top 10 reasons COMPILERS must be female
=======================================

10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.

[Nightwalker83]

New Computer Viruses

Ellen Degeneres virus.............
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC

Monica Lewinsky virus..............
Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Titanic virus......................
Makes your whole computer go down

Disney virus......................
Everything in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson virus................
Quits after one byte

Prozac virus.......................
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care

Sharon Stone virus.................
Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's there.

Lorena Bobbit virus..................
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Tim Allen virus.........................
Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive upon contact

Woody Allen virus.................
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card

Saddam Hussein virus..............
Won't let you into any of your programs

Tonya Harding virus...............
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

George Michaels virus..............
Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess data buildup

Joey Buttafuoco virus..............
Only attacks minor files

X-files virus..............................
All your Icons start shape shifting

Spice Girl virus.........................
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop

Ronald Reagan virus................
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored

Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus...........
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them

Sonny Bono virus......................
Just when you get surfing the web,a firewall appears out of no where

Martha Stewart virus...............
Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little
doilies to be displayed on your desktop

AT&T virus..............................
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting

MCI virus...............................
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.............
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back