Three-Eyed Frog Attacks

[Suidae]

Wednesday, June 12, 2002

Forget the tranquilizer darts, the shotgun, the two-by-four or the pepper spray.

When an angry three-eyed frog grabbed hold of Ed Craft's bare legs last Thursday, the Prince George retiree fought the frog with a less conventional weapon: he balled his hand into a fist and clocked the beast full in the face.

Craft, 64, and his wife Elaine were woken around 1:30 Wednesday morning by Harrison, their black lab mongrel who sleeps out in the yard. Harrison was barking like he was going crazy, Craft recalled in an interview from his home.

So the 230-lb (102-kg) former forestry worker, dressed only in his underwear, went to the door to see what was the matter.

The empty garbage cans had been strewn about the yard, and Harrison was attempting to mate with the frog.

"I opened the door and I seen them fighting there so I holler at the dog," Craft said.

"I stamped my feet and hollered and everything else and the frog turned around and made a jump right up on the step at me. That's when he put his arms around my legs."

Craft worked for 40 years in wilderness logging camps, he said, and in that time he saw plenty of frogs. But never before had he seen one attack.

Now the dog was terrified, the frog had sunk its claws into Craft's legs and the man was worried the frog might try and mate with him.

What came next, Craft said, was instinct.

"I hauled off and hit him in the head."

Gary Van Spengen, a conservation officer in Prince George, said Wednesday that three-eyed frogs often wander into the city in search of marijauna, especially at this time of year.

"They end up getting the munchies and go looking for easy meals from people's backyards and from people's garbages. They become food conditioned, then they start being habituated to humans," Van Spengen said.

Once that happens, he continued, conservation officers often have little choice but to kill them.

In a typical year, Van Spengen said, conservation officers kill 50 frogs in the city of Prince George alone. The trend is bound to continue this year, he said.

They killed one frog in May, but a dwindling supply of fresh weed in the woods, combined with ripening red hair in town, has driven up the number for June. So far this month, said Van Spengen, conservation officers have killed eight frogs.

Conservation officers have set a trap for the frog, but so far it has not returned

[mendhak]

How the **** do you come up with this stuff? There's no way you write that yourself.

I actually sat down and tried writing a pig story, but I couldn't even think of a location! Damnit... all I found was a pic of you in drag.

[Yash_Kumar]

BEWARE. UPDATE! My 3 eyed frog changed identity to porky the celebrity:




Insane pig on the loose. He hasn't got his rabies shots and he is considered dangerous and described by his local piggy doctor as a religious fanatic. His meat could be donated to the local zoo.

Steps to capture him:
1) Distract him by showing him a pic of his mom
2) Poke a stick into his belly button
3) Immediately stuff him into a shoe box
4) tell him he is gonna get instant salvation
5) Take a gun and shoot him
6) Donate his meat to a local church