Entry level programmer

[cafeenman]

I saw this as a job description for an entry level programmer.

Job Purpose: Accomplishes software requirements by developing and maintaining applications and databases.

Job Summary: Identifies requirements; develops and maintains applications and databases; arranges project requirements in programming sequence; programs the computer; confirms program operation; provides reference for use of prime and personal computers; maintains computer systems and programming guidelines.

Qualifications:
• Ability to create powerful client/server and internet applications in primary langauges such as VB 6.0, VB .Net, C++, or C#.

• Working knowledge of software development fundamentals including client server computing and n-tier developmeint process.

• Maintains painstaking attention to detail, completing multiple or repetitive tasks. Demonstrates a serious commitment to accuracy and quality while meeting goals or deadlines.

• Capable of producing comprehensive software documentation, such as requirements specs, design docs, change logs, and unit test plans.

• Designs compelling user interfaces and understands UI design methodologies and issues.

• Proficient at debugging applications that contain multi-threaded algorithms, real time processing, or complex interfacing with other systems.

• Experience developing software tests for functional, stress, and regression testing that include manual, ad-hoc, and automated testing elements.

• Working knowledge of Microsoft ActiveX data objects (ADO), Database connectivity, and basic transact-SQL.

• Working knowledge of Windows NT Server / Workstation and Windows 200 Server / Professioal.

• Ability to create functional and technical design specifications for software development efforts using process and database modeling using Microsoft SQL 200.

• BS or equivalent experience and 2+ years software development job experience.

Nazi Software is the place You want to be!

[beachbum]

Yeah but it is like one of those things where you must read it all before you bother answering. It is quite easy if u jump straight to the end...

• BS or equivalent experience and 2+ years software development job experience.

Basically, they want you to bull**** about your experience

[cafeenman]

I should respond and tell them they misspelled "development" right above the sentence about "pains taking attention to detail."

[mendhak]

Originally posted by cafeenman
I should respond and tell them they misspelled "development" right above the sentence about "pains taking attention to detail."

misspelt.
painstaking.


Based upon what you just posted, you won't have any credibility with them. They'll just use some phrases like "pants" and "bollocks" and shoo you away.

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by mendhak


misspelt.
painstaking.


Based upon what you just posted, you won't have any credibility with them. They'll just use some phrases like "pants" and "bollocks" and shoo you away.

It's not about me. I'm not the one demanding all these things. Seems to me if they want all that then they should set the example, right?

Or maybe they're saying "We can't do it, so we need someone who can."

[beachbum]

"Do as I say, not as I do" I think it was from the bible or summat

[mendhak]

Hmph. Saintly posters.

[InvisibleDuncan]

Originally posted by cafeenman
Or maybe they're saying "We can't do it, so we need someone who can."

But how would they know? Do they need to employ someone who can spell to check the applications to see whether the applicants can spell? And if so, who would check that the first employee could spell?

It'll never work.

[mendhak]

Or maybe that's a test right there, and they're waiting to see how many people notice.

You should tell them! You never know!

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by InvisibleDuncan
But how would they know? Do they need to employ someone who can spell to check the applications to see whether the applicants can spell? And if so, who would check that the first employee could spell?

It'll never work.

Which came first, the speller or the spell check?

[mendhak]

Originally posted by cafeenman

Which came first, the speller or the spell check?

The chicken.

[MerrionComputin]

* BS or equivalent experience and 2+ years software development job

That's nothing - an agent rang me looking to place me for a job where the client had specified 3 years VB.Net

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by MerrionComputin


That's nothing - an agent rang me looking to place me for a job where the client had specified 3 years VB.Net

No line in that ad is particularly anything much. But all of it combined is a lot to ask of an "entry level programmer." If someone can do all that as competently as they appear to want them to be able to do it, then I think the money and the position should be upgraded slightly. If that's what an entry level programmer can realistically be expected to do, then it's no wonder I can't find a job. I don't know half that stuff.

[MerrionComputin]

But all of it combined is a lot to ask of an "entry level programmer"

The stock phrase "Entry level" means either "we don't pay much" or "we don't expect much". In this case I suspect it is the former...was it a government/civil service job by any chance?

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by MerrionComputin


The stock phrase "Entry level" means either "we don't pay much" or "we don't expect much". In this case I suspect it is the former...was it a government/civil service job by any chance?

It was a law firm. The salary was 40k USD

[MerrionComputin]

It was a law firm. The salary was 40k USD

That explains it - the job spec was written by the only technical person in the office in an attempt to raise his own profile/salary by making the IT market seem less flooded than it is. Sneaky - even for someone working in a law firm.

[NotLKH]

Originally posted by cafeenman
I should respond and tell them they misspelled "development" right above the sentence about "pains taking attention to detail."

Along with 2000, ie... "Windows 200 Server", "Microsoft SQL 200",

And, of course, there's also "Professioal".

Law firm? It should be shortened to "Experienced in Database Application Design and Maintenance".

'nuff said
-Lou

[WorkHorse]

This is a mess. I can't even begin to say everything wrong with this job posting. OK, I will: "programs the computer". What, just the one computer? Good gravy. And there is much more that just doesn't make sense. And this isn't entry level. They are asking for someone to get requirements, form a devolvement team, oversee design, development, documentation, testing, implementation, and support of multiple projects.

Someone has no clue about what they are doing or the employees they are looking for. I won't even go into the "painstaking attention" to "compelling user interfaces".

[gaffa]

Well, they are a law firm - they obviously didn't want ot hire someone who can analyse, design, test and maintain software, but as soon as it comes to coding, the newly hired one goes "But hang on, that wasn't in the job description..."

- gaffa

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by WorkHorse
I won't even go into the "painstaking attention" to "compelling user interfaces".

Actually, that was the one thing I liked about the ad - "compelling user interfaces" It's so bizarre that it has a certain flair about it.

There you are just walking through the office minding your own business when you glance over at a monitor. Suddenly you have the overwhelming urge to sit at the workstation and do something. You don't know why you're sitting there - you were just compelled by something about the GUI of the app. In fact, it's kind of strange that the wordstation has been abandoned. Someone must have exercised a lot of will-power to tear themselves away. They must be addicted to nicotine or something even more compelling.

[mendhak]

or Mountain Dew.

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by mendhak
or Mountain Dew.

STOP MAKING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mendhak]

Originally posted by cafeenman

STOP MAKING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stop causing problems.

Have you forgotten our friend already?

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by mendhak


Stop causing problems.

Have you forgotten our friend already?

He didn't always say it the same way. Unfortunately, the thread was yanked, so I can't show you, but I remember laughing because he screwed it up really badly a couple times. There's nothing quite so funny as someone telling you off using words that don't mean what they think the words mean. I miss Grannytankimon

[mendhak]

I'd love to see another thread by Guatemalavegetarian

[NotLKH]

Originally posted by cafeenman

..... I miss Grannytankimon

THATS IT!!!
He DID talk like an Evil Digimon!

[DerFarm]

Occam's razor, gentlemen.

The add is real, the conditions are real. For legal/"ethical"
reasons this job must be posted. They don't want any real
applications. They already have a person they want in the
position.

You'll find a lot of that in Gov't and academic applications,
especially applications that are required to go thru the local
unemployment offices.

and 40K is not entry level.

[parksie]

Over here, it's illegal to post a job requirement for someone "friendly" or "enthusiastic" because it discriminates against people.

I kid you not....big apology to America for saying you had stupid laws.....