I Am A Bad American

[barrk]

George Carlin Speaks Out...
I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I like big cars, big hooters, and big paychecks.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel
governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away
to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, you'd better do it in English.
I'm not in touch with my feelings and I like it that way.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson preaches, where does he get his money & why is he always part of the
problem and not the solution?

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put
your pansy tail through 4-7 years of college, you haven't begun to be
enlightened.

I believe it's called the Boy Scouts for a reason.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular
opinions or actions.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.

My heroes are John Wayne, the Simpsons, and whoever canceled Dr.
Quiinn, Medicine Woman.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
when I am freezing my butt through a long winter?

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years
in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt, I haven't burned any witches
or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you, so shut up already.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're
running from them. I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if
you are breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation of the world
for the next four years.

I think if you are in the passing lane, and not passing, your license should
be revoked, and you should be forced to ride the bus until you promise
to never delay the rest of us again.

I think Dr. Seuss was a genius.

If that makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

If you too are a BAD American please forward this to everyone you
know. We need our country back!

Sincerely,

George Carlin

[Gaffer]

I like it...very much

[Wally Pipp]

Carlin is a genius. If you have time, check out Bill Hicks too.
Stay away from Dennis Miller though ...

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by barrk
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now,
when I am freezing my butt through a long winter?

they're talking about the average temperature...it has already risen 1 C

During the last ice age, the ave. temp was only 4C less than now. So what's it ganna be like when we gain another 3?

As for the rest, I concur. Except fireworks are legal all year

[barrk]

Someone I barely know and who barely knows me sent this to me with the bottom sentence highlighted and bolded after overhearing a discussion I was having with someone else about religious fanatics. The subject of the email was Why don't you just leave! I was highly offended at first......then just amused.

******************************************

This is an Editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa Newspaper. He did quite a job;

IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans.

However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely composed of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand. This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!

"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan.

We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture. If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle. Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But, once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life,

I highly encourage you to take advantage of one other great American freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.

[NotLKH]

Originally posted by chrisjk
During the last ice age.....

When did the last one end?
When does the next one start?
Are we Approaching the midpoint between the two?
Or, are we exiting the midway point, and approaching the next Ice age?

Between the two, which would win, An Ice age, or Global Warming???

[Jim Brown]

... I've got 2 words for you


(and I'm showing our age here)....












































Right On! Babe.

(Ok, 3 words)


(and 'babe' is just an expression)

[barrk]

Groovy, Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jim Brown]

Originally posted by barrk
Groovy, Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've never been called 'groovy' before.

Mind you it's nice up here on the Bridge

[barrk]

Far out!

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by barrk

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!

ignorant white americans are the worst kind.

[MegaMan]

i think americans should learn a second language instead of forcing everyone to learn english thats just bull sh*t

[parksie]

I wouldn't mind learning Chinese or Japanese (or even Arabic, I've been down there enough to need the language!)

I still think that if you're going to someone's country you learn their language....so if you go to France, you learn French. Go to America? Learn American (tough even for Brits, I think )....

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by parksie
Go to America? Learn American (tough even for Brits, I think )....

it would be exceptionally difficult for me to pronouce and spell things incorrectly (EOEE)

[barrk]

which language should we learn other than English? Spanish, French, Swahili, Arabic, Japanese, Chinese?????

[MegaMan]

probably spanish. considering that latin america shares the same hemishpere and spanish is the second most spoken language other than english in the us (considering too that latinos are now the largest minority group in the states-- no longer blacks)

[MegaMan]

if you learn arabic you can work for the FBI hehe

[barrk]

Isn't that unfair to the arabic/german/french/japanese/chinese/speaking people.....are you trying to discriminate against them????

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by parksie
....so if you go to France, you learn French. Go to America? Learn American (tough even for Brits, I think ).... [/B]

well despite what you may want to believe the United States doesnt have an official language and most urban areas post things in different languages.

while united states has a large cultural mixtrue there is still a struggle to refer to people within her borders as simply americans, and not African Americans or Mexican Americans for example.. coining these phrases emphasizes disunity. I mean it is totally contradictory to the average white american goal to force everyone to learn english.

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by barrk
Isn't that unfair to the arabic/german/french/japanese/chinese/speaking people.....are you trying to discriminate against them????

no it seemed the most logical answer based on the population, geographic location, and neighboring countries, most of the western hemisphere speaks spanish.

[barrk]

what is this white american bull****?

[barrk]

did you read the previous posts at all????????

[MegaMan]

white american bull**** >> it mostly applies to white americans who feel no need to expand their cultural horizons because US is the supreme being in all senses-- so why bother for, example learning another language.. the average american equivalent of being culturally diverse is eating at taco bell.

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by MegaMan
most of the western hemisphere speaks spanish.

a shame therefore that it's only number 4 in the global language league

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by barrk
did you read the previous posts at all????????

yes i did.. and my point is that those are white american ideals and do not apply to everyone.

american != white. despite what some would like to believe.

[barrk]

Do you think that perhaps the reason you are advocating learning Spanish as opposed to French for the Canadian cousins is that you live in LA where it is very common to hear it spoken?

[chrisjk]

yeah but nobody likes the French

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by chrisjk
a shame therefore that it's only number 4 in the global language league

only #4? may i remind you that fourth place takes you to next race in mario go-kart! hehe

considering the hundreds of languages spoken in the world 4 isnt all that shabby-- i wasnt making an advocacy for the language population of the world-- rather for the language population of the WESTERN HEMISPHERE-- which is compromised MOSTLY OF LATINOS. And being that the United States is part of the western hemisphere it makes more sense.. now say if the US was in the eastern hemisphere-- lets say russia-area- then i might encourage learning an Asian dialect or arabic depending on which end of the country you lived on.

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by chrisjk
yeah but nobody likes the French

french is a beautfiul language-- just its not very useful--- i mean practical.

[Ianpbaker]

Originally posted by chrisjk
yeah but nobody likes the French

Hear, Hear

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by barrk
Do you think that perhaps the reason you are advocating learning Spanish as opposed to French for the Canadian cousins is that you live in LA where it is very common to hear it spoken?

ok that wasn't such a bright thing to say.. im not even from LA i just go to UCLA and i live in Beverly hills not Los Angeles proper- actually I'm from New York City--

Second of all 'french canadians' is a small specialized group, that is .. there arent THAT many - there is a much larger amount of people who speak spanish and therefor it would be MORE beneficial to speak a second language that is more widely spoken, one within our own borders- two within our hemisphere-- if you are taking a global approach then go learn chinese.. cuz according to someone else spanish is only #4 -- in the Western part of the world its a nice tie for #1, and it may just as well be #1.. SO DUH! learn spanish

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by MegaMan
cuz according to someone else spanish is only #4

I'm name-less

But I have sources http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/topte...anguages3.html

[MegaMan]

Originally posted by chrisjk
I'm name-less

But I have sources http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/topte...anguages3.html

even better

""Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and Central American country, not to mention Spain, Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, including: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla, enchilada, and taco grande supreme.""

[MegaMan]

well i dont like to point fingers ;-)

[cafeenman]

I don't understand what your point is, MM. Are you saying that America should speak a language just because it's common? Or are you saying that we should make our national language Spanish? Or are you saying that we shouldn't have a national language? Or are you saying something else?

[barrk]

by the way........I'm from Southern California. I speak Spanish fairly well.

[parksie]

I think he's saying that we should all make an effort to speak more than our native language...

[chrisjk]

I say we go back to living in caves and use symbols and various noises to communicate.

Much more fun

[cafeenman]

Originally posted by parksie
I think he's saying that we should all make an effort to speak more than our native language...

Why is that something we "should" do?

[HarryW]

What exactly places the US in 'The Western Hemisphere' ?? Is this just something you made up or is that a valid geographical term? Northern and Southern Hemispheres seem perfectly sensible to me, Eastern and Western ones don't.

Personally I think people should be free to speak any damn languages they like, but if you actually do want to work at McDonalds in the US, you're probably going to get fired if you don't take orders in English.

What is your gripe with white Americans? What the hell has skin colour got to do with anything?