DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish......................... 49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your mates
Athletic.........................No tits
Average looking............Has a face like an arse
Beautiful.......................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of pills
Educated......................Was f#@ked to bits at Uni'
Emotionally Secure........On medication
Feminist.........................Fat
Free spirit......................Junkie
Friendship first...............Former slut
Fun...............................Annoying
Gentle...........................Dull
Good Listener...............Autistic
New-Age......................Body hair problems
Old-fashioned................No BJs or anal
Open-minded.................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate......................Sloppy drunk
Poet...............................Depressive
Professional............... ...Bi*ch
Romantic.......................Frigid
Social............................***** like a clowns pocket
Voluptuous....................Very Fat
Large lady.....................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.............Stalker
Widow...........................Murderer