Q. If you see a Scourser on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit
him?
A: It's probably your bicycle

Q: What do you call a Scouser in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: Why does the Mersey run through Liverpool?
A: Because if it walked it would be mugged.

Q: What do you call a Scouser in a three-bed semi?
A: A burglar.

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Liverpool?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Q: What do you say to a Scouser on a bike?
A: Stop - Thief!

Q: What do you say to a Scouser in a uniform?
A: Big Mac and fries please.

Q: What's the first question at a Liverpool pub quiz night ?
A: What are you looking at?

Q: What do you call a Scouser in a White Shellsuit ?
A: The Bride

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Scouser 6ft 5in tall and
350lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well dressed and obviously
gay man walks in and sits beside him. After 3 or 4 beers, the gay fella
finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Scouser. Leaning
over, he cups his huge ear: "Do you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this,
the massive Scouser leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the
face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of
the bar. Finally he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns
to his seat as if nothing had happened. Amazed the bartender quickly brings
over another beer. "I've never seen you react like that" he says. "Just what
did he say to you?" "I'm not sure" the Scouser replies. "Something about a
job."