I can only apologise for the quality of this inaugural Christmas joke...


In a small village near St Petersburg, Boris and Karla are out for a walk. As they stroll along, little specks begin to drift down from the sky.
"It's snowing!", says Karla, starting to get into the Christmas spirit.
"Don't be daft, dear,", says Boris. "it's raining."
"No, it's snow," says Karla.
"It's rain," says Boris.
They bicker like this for a while until they spot Rudolf, the village's former communist party member coming up the street towards them. Although communism has fallen, they have spent so many years getting the official version of events from Rudolf that they immediately agree to settle the argument by getting their Red friend to give them the official view.
"Rudolf", says Boris, "We were hoping you could settle an argument for us. According to your official opinion, is it raining or snowing?"
Rudolf looks up at the sky for a few moments, then announces "I can tell you that it's raining, not snowing." With this, he continues on his way.
Karla isn't terribly happy. "Didn't we get rid of communism so that we wouldn't have to get our information from jumped-up little Red men like that any more? What does he know anyway?" she asks.
"Well," replies Boris, "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."