A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following
exchange:

Officer: "May I see your driver's license?"
Driver: "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: " May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: "It's not my car. I stole it."

Officer: "The car is stolen?"
Driver: "That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: "There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: "Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the
woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: "There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was
immediately surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

Captain: "Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: "Sure. Here it is" - It was valid.

Captain: "Who's car is this?"
Driver: "It's mine, officer. Here's the registration." - The driver
owned the car.

The Captain opened the glove box to see if there was a gun. Sure
enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: "Would you mind opening your trunk? "
Driver: "No problem".

Trunk is opened; and there is no body to be seen.

Captain: "I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you
told him you didn't have a license, stole this car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. "

Driver: "Yeah, Yeah........ I'll bet the lying son of a ***** told you I was speeding, too