NAME: "Expecteria Trouserius" (Trouser Snake)

LOCATION: Throughout the world

DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with
extra
layers of skin). Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly
venomous
spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) Size varies from 3 to 12
inches, depending on its mood & subspecies.

SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen,
resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by
excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal.
Beware:
It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!

HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the
most
unusual places.

ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the
venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete
recovery. There is no known antidote for men.

WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED: Suck The Wound - This method is the most popular
with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any
success.

CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not
necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful
pet.