Ha! Got your attention then huh? lol, j/k...
You may be familiar with me annoying people on this board, trying to get help with finishing off my game, or you may not... either way, i have a problem!!! Below is a process quoted by some guys who tried to help last time, but seemed unkeen to expand on their ideas... could anyone else just take the time to illustrate how i'd do this? I'd be the most grateful person who ever landed here from the greatest planet in the great galaxy: Grateful...
Here's hoping...

"You could write all your comments into a plain text file (or even a binary, if you want), and then load them in an array when the game starts. Every match could have it's own comments file and you could split comments so that, for eg. 1-10 are for bad playing, 11-20 for good playing, etc. Then, when you want to display them, generate a random number and display that comment...

However, you should have more than one text file (maybe 10) with names like:

final.txt - The final match of the season
superb.txt - Superbowl
match.txt - Just a one game season, a custom game
season.txt - A regular season
training.txt - In training for the new season
...
...
...
etc.

Your format should follow this:

Whoa! What a wondeful pass from #T to #C!
Ouch, #PP going to feel THAT one in the morning!
etc, etc...

#T - thrower
#C - catcher, reciever
#P - player (eg. McFari)
#PP - player plural (eg. McFari's)
#TN - team name (eg. the Eskimos)
#M - manager's name (eg. Davi)
#MP - manger plural (eg. Davi's)
...and other things.

These signs will be translated when found in text in your VB program. So a line could be:

Whoa! What a wonderful pass from Rockett to Gremier!
Ouch, Gremier's going to feel THAT one in the morning!
Touchdown! A touchdown, scored by Gremier!
Rockett kicks the ball...
Kinglenton of the Eskimos recieves!

You get the point. It will make for a pretty good commentary. Of course, you will have to have a lot of .wav files (or .mod files, if you use that format) for the player names. If you want, you can either use their position (eg. A person created a player called Mike Gremier, and he's the quarterback. You can say:

Whoa! What a wonderful pass from the quarterback to Rockett!

Or, you can attempt to use text-to-speech to get the computer to say his name. (It will sound horrible))"