Life after VB6:

Living underneath a train bridge in Chicago, bumming cigarettes from the mutilated bodies of "friends" of the Mafia and stealing sandwiches from little kids who just got lost on their way to school. Life was tough, but it was better than working for a sleazy corporation that only worked entirely in .NET technologies. Spawns of Satan, that's what they are! Who needs them? Not me! I live a free life now! Living off nature, or what would be the equivalent of the natural life cycle here in the good old Windy City.

Oh, hey, a Cheeto! I better chase after it before the other clingers get to it.