I'm starting up a T&P Shop in Derby you are all invited for a free session. This should kickstart my business nicely.

Tattoos available (prices shown for X-Files logo design, 1 inch square)...
  • Perineum £45
  • Armpit £25
  • Palm of hand £5
  • Rear of knee £30
  • Tongue £40
Piercings available (standard 8mm steel ring except where otherwise stated)...
  • Eyelid £10
  • Skin between thumb and index finger £5
  • Bridge of nose £20
  • Patella £90
  • Armpit £40 (tends to bleed a lot) *!!! Special offer prices if done at same time as a tattoo !!!*
  • Torso (all the way through) £600, 750mm titanium ring optionally hangs to one side or between legs, latter may make sitting down impossible)
  • Skull £1700 (requires parent / guardian's consent)
So why not come on down to Wossy's "Drunken Artificer" T&P Shop, 241 Sadlergate, Derby. Tel "01132 OH GOD THE PAIN"