Before I go any further, I must again apologize to my British collegues on this website, especially HarryW. A few weeks ago I thought that this whole President election mishap would have been solved by now. To my surprise it hasn't been. So I have decided to make a list of possible ways to decide who will be the next President. Any and all suggestions are also welcome.

1. Get both the candidates really drunk off of cheap beer (Bush would win so far), bring them on top of a really high building, and see who can pee the farthest. The winner will be the next president.

2. Get both the candidates to wear that funny thing that Sumo wrestlers wear. Lock them in a padded room with nothing but a Rambo knife. The survivor will be the next president.

3. Blind-fold both the candidates. Have them drink cheap beer (again, advantage - Bush) until intoxication. Put them into bumper boats. The winner is the own that doesn't drown.

4. See who can lie most in 60 seconds (advantage Gore). The winner is the next president.

5. Have Linda Tripp sit on both of the candidates. Then pile on Monica Lewinsky. Then add another one of Clinton's girl's every sixty seconds. The one with the most women on top of him, without being crushed to death, is the next President.

I need more ideas, as I will e-mail these and all other suggestions to my congressman.