NO OFFENCE INTENDED

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English
language today is the word '****'. It is the one magical word which, just
by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, '****' falls into many grammatical categories.
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John ****ed Mary) and
intransitive (Mary was ****ed by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a ****), a passive verb
(Mary really doesn't give a ****), an adverb (Mary is ****ing
interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific ****).
It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is ****ing beautiful) or an
interjection (****! I'm late for my date with Mary).
It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, **** she's also
stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of
the word '****'. Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word
can be used to describe many situations...

Greetings "How the **** are ya?"

Fraud "I got ****ed by the car dealer."

Resignation "Oh, **** it!"

Trouble "I guess I'm ****ed now."

Aggression "**** YOU!"

Disgust "**** me."

Confusion "What the ****.......?"

Difficulty "I don't understand this ****ing business!"

Despair "****ed again..."

Pleasure "I couldn't be ****ing happier."

Displeasure "What the **** is going on here?"

Lost "Where the **** are we."

Disbelief "UN****ING BELIEVABLE!"

Retaliation "Up your ****ing ass!"

Denial "I didn't ****ing do it."

Perplexity "I know **** all about it."

Apathy "Who really gives a ****, anyhow?"

Greetings "How the **** are ya?"

Suspicion "Who the **** are you?"

Panic "Let's get the **** out of here."

Directions "**** off."

Disbelief "How the **** did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a ****ing *******."

It can be used to tell time- "It's five ****ing thirty."

It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this ****ing job?"

It can be maternal- "Mother ****er."

It can be political- "**** Al Gore!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history...

"What the **** was that?"
- Mayor of Hiroshima

"Where the **** is all this water coming from?"
- Captain of the Titanic

"That's not a real ****ing gun."
- John Lennon

"Who's gonna ****ing find out?"
- Richard Nixon

"Heads are going to ****ing roll."
- Anne Boleyn

"Let the ****ing woman drive."
- Commander of Space Shuttle

"What ****ing map?"
- "Challenger," Mark Thatcher

"Any ****ing idiot could understand that."
- Albert Einstein

"It does so ****ing look like her!"
- Picasso

"How the **** did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras

"You want what on the ****ing ceiling?"
- Michaelangelo

"**** a duck."
- Walt Disney

"Why?- Because its ****ing there!"
- Edmund Hilary

"I don't suppose its gonna ****ing rain?"
- Joan of Arc

"Scattered ****ing showers my ass."
- Noah

"I need this parade like I need a ****ing hole in my head."
- John F. Kennedy